Is love blind?

Is your partner better looking than you? It may be enough if you think so, and research shows that he or she may feel the same about you (Swami, et al., 2009). Participants from Austria (113 men and 143 women) in romantic relationships rated the attractiveness of themselves and their partners on a number of items including overall attractiveness, attractiveness of eyes, voice, hands, legs, etc. Results showed, both men and women in relationships tend to rate their partners as more attractive than themselves across all areas. This was especially true for people in shorter relationships.

In general people think positively about their own relationships. They think they’re better than other couples (e.g., van Lange & Rusbult, 1995). These biases about one’s partner or one’s relationship, often called positive illusions, are thought to increase feelings of security in the relationship (Murray, 1999).

Researchers in the current study thought this was evidence that love is blind because we see our partners are better than they actually are, on average. In essence, we idealize our partners, especially in the early stages of a relationship, and this may help enhance attraction and bonding throughout the course of the relationship.

Further Reading:

Murray, S. L. (1999). The quest for conviction: Motivated cognition in romantic relationships. Psychological Inquiry, 10, 23-34.

Swami, V., Stieger, S., Haubner, T., Voracek, M., and Furnham, A. (2009). Evaluating the physical attractiveness of oneself and one’s romantic partner: Individual correlates of the love-is-blind bias. Journal of Individual Differences, 30, 35-43.

Van Lange, P. A., M., & Rulbult, C. E., (1995). My relationship is better than – and not as bad as – yours is: The perception of superiority in close relationships. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 21, 32-44.