It's a great life if you don't weaken: social resources and perception of distress

A number of studies have suggested that we perceive other’s level of distress quite differently based on how many social resources we feel we have at the moment. In other words when we feel supported by others we tend not to feel as overwhelmed by stressful situations.

A recent study done by researchers at Rutgers and Washington University in St. Louis confirmed this. They first had people either recall someone who had betrayed them, a neutral person, or someone who was a close and trusted friend. The research participants then listened to a baby’s distressful cry. As would be expected those who had first thought about being betrayed rated the cries as much more distressful than the other groups.

In a second study the researchers used the same design although this time the people who had thought about the betrayal were provided an opportunity to disclose their thoughts and feelings about the betrayal. Thus while depleting social resources (thinking about betrayal) increases the perception of distress emotional disclosure of the betrayal reverses the impact that depleting social resources has on our perception of distress.

The implication for relationships could be as simple as when we experience social rejection our normal reaction is to be on edge; we tend to perceive additional stressors as much more sdistressful. But by simply disclosing the source of social rejection we don’t react to stress as if we are on overload; we once again perceive situations with our usual level of resilience. So in the face of rejection, find someone to talk to.

Further Reading:

Kent D. Harber 1, Michal Einev-Cohen, Fran Lang (2008) They heard a cry: psychosocial resources moderate perception of others’ distress European Journal of Social Psychology 38:296-314.