27 October 2009
Dating UK: Four ways the game has changed
by eHarmony
If you find yourself single again check out the new rules and the secrets of success. You may find they've changed since you were last on the dating scene.
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If it’s been a few years since your last foray on the dating scene, you could be in for a shock. Not only has the number of people on online dating sites in the UK rocketed – it’s now about five million – the techniques have changed too. So don’t get left behind. Here’s how to maximise your chances of dating triumph.
Rule 1. Multi-dating is part of the game
Several years ago, online dating revolutionised our love lives by making it possible to secure a date almost every weekend. But today that’s small fry. Now the savviest singles are seeing multiple people at a time. Instead of putting all their emotional eggs in one basket, they are weighing up all the options.
Sound daunting? In fact, it helps take the pressure off a date because you no longer think that each one must be a success. There’s comfort in knowing that if one person slips out of your grasp, there’s another in their place. Plus you can hone your flirting skills by testing what works and what doesn’t.
But be aware that at some stage you need to draw the line. If you find someone you like, it’s best to broach the topic of exclusivity so that you both know where you stand. Once you’ve crossed the line into a committed relationship, the multi-dating needs to stop.
Rule 2. Our attention spans are dwindling
Five years back, TV and video games were blamed for shortening our attention spans. But now, a whole host of new outlets all vie for our attention – everything from social networking sites like Twitter and Facebook to new gizmos like iPhones and Blackberrys.
So how does this affect dating? Well, now it’s no longer enough to be gorgeous and available. You need to tap into the social media game, create eye-catching profile headlines and market your single assets. Sound frightening? It needn’t be. You just need to invest a little time and energy. This will grab you plenty of online interest that could just translate into a date and possibly more.
Rule 3. You have to be proactive
It’s no longer just about creating a clever online dating profile and sitting back and relaxing. Now the dating pool is so large that you need to be more strategic to get the results. Be proactive, contact as many people as you can and make the most of the multiple dating platforms. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Rule 4. Dating is an industry
Dating is not the only thing that has changed in the last few years. The dating industry in the UK has evolved into sophisticated social science. You can now read books and blogs dedicated to the art of online dating and get coaching from the experts. Your job is to employ the methods that you find most effective, use the right tools and master the new principles to achieve dating success.
» Get back into dating with eHarmony
1
Julie
10 November 2009 20:32
Multiple dating? Speed-dating?
I live in a small town in the Highlands where dating is a dirty word. Nobody over 21 has anywhere to go and unless you meet your partner when you’re both schoolchildren, you’re destined to be alone. I can’t move away for family and work reasons, and those few men who do come on the scene are often the ones whose reputation precedes them. I looked to E Harmony as a last ditch attempt not to have to die alone, and now I’m reconciled to just giving up.
2
Catherine
11 November 2009 11:46
It’s not just people in remote places but even cities can be difficult when it comes to dating. I live in SW London and met a really nice guy from E London. But there was actually no way to meet up at weekends using public transport. To drive across town would take at least a couple of hours and there’s nowhere to park. It was a logistic nightmare.
Now I have health and mobility problems so just getting to my local station is a major problem.
So Julie, don’t lose heart. We’re all in the same boat and maybe we just need to extend our own boundaries a bit. Good luck anyway.
3
rod
20 November 2010 15:25
Julie, what a sad comment. Dont give up babe – you may need to be prepared to make some major life changes to get what you want though. Best wishes.
4
JW
15 February 2011 17:11
Once you hit 40 no-one is interested in you anyway.
It’s all about youth, instant availability and being child-free.
If you’re over 40, female, single-again, and packin’ kids, don’t waste your time – or money.
You are officially second class ‘remaindered’ goods – men want ‘fresh out of the box’ – not, ‘one careful owner’.
Lack of transport is the least of your problems!
5
JW
15 February 2011 17:15
Telling it like it is. Not condoning it.
6
T.J SAXON
3 March 2011 23:33
Well, my Brazilian neighbour used to say to me,’There’s a lid for every pot” so don’t be discouraged, but do be lovable…your most important relationship is with yourself, work on that first, and be your own number one fan, so that you will always have love in your life.
Blessings. T