Relationship Advice


Five successful chat-up lines (really!)

eHarmony

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In an age of online dating, speed dating and irony, chat-up lines might seem a bit seventies. But in a recent survey by onepoll.co.uk, it was discovered that nearly 60% of women love one liners, and four in ten women are actually dating someone who charmed them with a pick-up line.

But, choose the wrong line and you could end up with the brush off – or even worse, a slap in the face. And while you should never rely on lines to actually drive a conversation with a woman, it’s helpful to have a few in reserve for that crucial moment.

1. Are you Jane Smith?

When you know someone – however tenuously – it’s so much easier to approach them, and initiate conversation. But if that’s not the case, pretending to know someone also works; approaching with a simple ‘Are you…?’ opens the lines of communication. Then it’s up to you to work out whether her response allows further conversation, or is simply a cue for you to give up.

In the former situation you can follow on with something like, ‘How strange, you look just like a girl in my salsa class’, giving you the opportunity to let her know something more about you. In the latter situation simply apologise and leave – otherwise she’s just going to feel harassed, and you’ll end up feeling stupid.

2. I love that band!

Women are pretty savvy, and can spot a generic pick up line a mile off, which is why something a little more personal will have a much bigger effect. Whether you’re commenting on her Kings of Leon tour t-shirt, hair colour or dress, tailoring your comment to her shows you’ve been paying attention to her, and have gone to the trouble of picking her our specifically for something that is unique to her.

3. What book are you reading?

A ‘prop’ is a great thing to comment on – whether the woman you’ve set your sights on is walking her dog or reading a good book, it’s a great ice breaker. It allows you to be personal, without commenting on appearance, and you can tell her something about you at the same time. For example, by asking what she’s reading (a line which can work great on long journeys), you can then ask if she’s read anything by your favourite author. The spontaneity of the comment will also make it look less like a line.

4. I was mistaken for a Peruvian terrorist

Honestly, someone we know has used this as a chat-up line. It stems from a long story involving an unfortunate ‘gift’ of dynamite from a local, and his botched attempt to dispose of it. But, it’s a great story and shows him to be adventurous (and not actually a dangerous criminal). Don’t be afraid to condense your unusual stories into a few lines to grab someone’s interest. But be careful, it’s easy to sound contrived, and make sure your story is true, or you could trip yourself up further down the line.

5. Can I buy you a drink?

An old chestnut that actually works a lot of the time, mainly due to its simplicity. The key is to be polite, let the lady choose her own drink and let her stand with you while you buy it – any half intelligent woman is going to want to keep an eye on her drink the whole time. Also be prepared to get the brush off, as some women can find this approach patronising.

What have you got to lose? Good luck!

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49 thoughts on “Five successful chat-up lines (really!)

  1. The above is informative. I take it same advice goes for women chatting men up? After all most guys I know say they’d love women to make the first move more often.

  2. Straightforward advice. The last phrase though should be “May I buy you a drink?” otherwise you could lose points on grammar.

  3. The important point that has been left out of the ‘Can I buy you a drink?’ approach is…wait until she’s running low! Someone recently offered to buy me a drink and I had to say no, even though I wanted to say yes to them, because I already had a full glass of wine in my hand – I could hardly stand there with a glass in each hand! It’s when my drink is running out and I’m beginning to think about the next one that I’m most receptive to this approach! I also think it’s the most likely to work out of all of the ones suggested, as it’s simple, honest, and uncontrived, and also makes me feel I ‘owe’ the buyer of the drink some of my time and attention, which despite the way it may sound is actually a good thing.

  4. Goodness me! Isn’t this dating game so complicated and fraught with risks of rejection?! Makes you think that it would be much simpler to go out with an attractive, sweet, high-class call girl, a ‘belle de jour’. At least, she won’t turn you down so long as you have money. At the end of the day, 99% of women are looking for a Brad Pitt or a George Clooney. And if you ain’t got the looks, you don’t get a look-in. Don’t matter how wonderful you otherwise are. Thank goodness for ‘belles de jour’. They deserve a knighthood!

  5. one that i have used several times, and this works because its funny. you walk strait up to your choosen victim and ask them to touch your sleeve material while explaining that you and a friend were debating on what material it is! after they have several guesses, you then inform them them that, they were good guesses, but actually its boyfriend material! if a girl doesnt apprecitate the humour she is probably boring anyway!

  6. I still prefer the “If I told you, you had a hot body, would you hold it against me?” and “My magic watch says you’re not wearing any underwear- oh you are? It must be an hour fast.

  7. D Daniel it’t not poor grammar to say “Can I buy you a drink?” Language changes constantly.

  8. Debate on “Can I buy you a drink?” versus “May I buy you a drink?” The difference is: by using “can”, it denotes ability, therefore, anyone with the money can buy her a drink whereas “may” denotes preference, meaning that a woman can choose who may buy her a drink, so technically the second is more grammatically correct! Not many people know that!

  9. Chris, I love yours! Very funny. That would get me chatting. Good luck!

  10. Iaint looking for brad pitt or george clooney just someone that will treat you right be there for those bad times as well as the good so therefore I disagree with the fact that 99% of women are.

  11. Sharon. Spot on!! How come you’re not matched to me?

  12. Jill, why the old chestnuts? can/may are both correct.

    ‘can’ denotes ability but a different ‘can’ also denotes permission,

    e.g.

    can (or ‘could’, which is politer) buy you a drink?

    ‘may’ does not denote preference but allowability. (politer ‘might’;)

    might I open the window?


    ability: can you fly?
    past: could you fly?

    Let’s can it and get on with loving!

  13. mmmm

    Lets be honest if I was the sort of guy that could walk up to a girl in a bar flash my smile and successfully use a chat up line I probably would not need to be on here. But as I have found out being a overweight baldy with a limp whatever “cold calling” line I use I get the same reaction
    I agree somewhat with Gwyn, 8/10 women dismiss me straight off as boyfriend material no matter what line or joke I use , hence on here to communicate with the other 2/10 who may not be as shallow.

    I am not a negative Ned as met such a girl last year but due to distance didn’t work out but women who can see past the physical few and far between

    I have often wondered if dating sites like this should have more preferences ie an acceptable weight/height range and a would date someone who is disabled question, at least it would save my time as all the other stuff ie Dislikes/Likes just trivia to most

  14. I guess ther are women who only respond to good looking guys but speaking for myself, an ‘open’ smile and a twinkle in the eye does it every time!

  15. ………if we were all as honest as we are supposed to be on here then Miss Average wouldn’t contact Mr Gorgeous and vice versa……..but when you’re bombarded with matches you are bound to pick the most attractive.

  16. Chris, I like your chat up line. It denotes that not only are you keen but you see yourself as a boyfriend and not intimating that you want to jump into the sack like most of the chat up lines do.

  17. Forget about 3 and 5 for a start. They just convey neediness. Whoever wrote it clearly has rarely tried it. Buying drinks for women conveys neediness in a man. Its not what a man says on approaching, its how he says it. The key is to walk up confidently, maintain eye contact, and go direct!. You’d might be surprised at how far a direct proposition goes if it delivered in a non-sleazy manner. Women are turned on by confident men!

  18. Chris, I like your approach, I guess it could also work the other way round too, I’ll try it on someone next time I’m out, if i’m feeling confident.

  19. Chris I love your chat up line! How unsusual, ingenious and humorous! Anyone using that on me would get my attention, anytime. And it sounds confident too. The only thing is, you’d have to back it up – you would have to be boyfriend material indeed!

  20. The best chat up line in the world is very very simple:

    Hi, whats your name
    (their name)
    My name is (your name) nice to meet you

    And then you talk, about whatever you want!

    Its not as difficult as everyone makes it out to be :S

  21. I’ve worked with a few guys in the past who were definately players and women seemed to fall for their chat-up lines all the time, then the rest of us blokes get the blame…

  22. When I said “get the blame”, I mean they won’t commit.

  23. Gwyn (4) In response to your Brad Pitt/George Clooney comment how many men on these dating sites are only choosing the *Slim, *Athletic & Toned options. Men are worse than women when looking for their match. They say they’re looking for a warm hearted loving woman when what they’re really looking for is a super model! 60% of the women in this country are a size 16 or bigger! Therefore it’s true from both sides of the coin that if your not seen as an ‘ideal’ you’ve lost the race already!

  24. I know what you mean jools (23)

    for example im 5’6 which makes me short. women tend to like taller men and when women meet me and they’re taller they’ve pretty much already made up their minds. But the way i see it is i reckon i have alot to offer and if someone isnt interested because im not “ideal” then they’re lose. Woman size 6 to whatever can be beatufil and people that are only looking for a perfect supermodel can have fun looking for their “ideal” woman, they’re lose cos the ideal person makes you happy i know thats all im looking for

  25. lol 5′ 6″

  26. I think the reason most chat up lines dont work is because they are used at inappropriate times. You might be out looking for a date but if your ‘target’ is out with a friend and obviously in deep conversation then you’ll get the same response no matter how good it is. No-one likes to be interupted and if they give a polite ‘not interested’ signal then persisting is pointless and somewhat insulting.

  27. One i like to use is a simple compliment..”That’s a pretty dress, it suits you!”. Confidence and status are important here though, or atleast showing it.

  28. I agree with Jason. If I am interested in girl, the first thing I want to know is her name. Most girls seem open to having a conversation that starts this way and seeing where things go. Opening lines are easy and should not be the focus. Continuing to be confident, charming, funny is hard work if it doesn’t come natural. Work on that.

  29. I’m afraid the George Clooney/Brad Pitt comment was way off. In an ideal existance we would all have won the lottery, be madly in love, and be living in a peaceful war-free world. Women are not that shallow-it’s what’s inside that counts. I think men are more likely to “judge a book by it’s cover”!!!

  30. I worry about what sort of girls Gwyn (4) has met in his life!! I suppose if they mostly have been ‘belles de jour’ it’s not really surprising he has this low opinion of women.

    Mike (13) is right though – you can’t learn this kind of thing by reading an advice article. You can either do chat up lines or you can’t. Doesn’t matter how clever or appropriate the line might be, if you haven’t got ‘it’ you can mess up even ‘can/could/may/might I buy you a drink’. Also anyone who cares which of the above words is chosen is probably a lost cause anyway.

  31. chris’ chat up line is a winner !! that would make anyone smile

  32. and i thought this was a match making website not english lessons

  33. Anna you are very wrong. There are loads of shallow women on these dating sites looking for the best looking man they can find who can entertain them. I’m not suggesting all are like this but you say “women aren’t that shallow” speaking from my experiences/perspective – plenty are.

  34. I must be the only woman in the world who thinks that Chris’s chat-up line is just so cheesy and I would prefer Jason’s ‘my name is…what’s yours?’ approach.
    Kath, I must disagree with you, as good English/grammar is important to me, given my job (although of course I don’t discriminate against men with dyslexia, aphasia etc).
    I also don’t think that you can write off anyone on here with a statement that falls into the category of’sweeping generalisation’ For instance, I am a size 14/16 but at 6ft 2 with a naturally large frame anyway I’d look daft at anything lower than a aize 12 (and my top half is a 16 with 38″ chest even with skin and bones!)
    Having said that, Jordon, may I sympathise with you at 5’6″ because I have the same problem, at the opposite end of the height scale, especially in my heels!

  35. @ jordon: I’m not tall either and I know what you mean! If you can make one generalisation about women, it’s that they’re very inflexible about height. I don’t mind a tall girl, it wouldn’t bother me. Be quite exciting in fact! But you can see them instanty discount you.

    My lovely female friend, who’s tall, also says that some men are put off by her height.

  36. I once overheard a guy saying that he was thinking of growing a beard because he felt his face was a bit featurless, so I butted in + started suggesting increasingly ridiculous ways of customizing his face.
    That one lasted a year + a half. :-)

  37. Good point Jason, so how come you are on this site then? Seeing as you know the best pick up line?

  38. Knowing the best pick up line is one thing, Keeping a relationship going is another. I liked Chris’s chat up line, I liked Jason’s too but chat up lines are just the start. The magic watch doesn’t impress me, I want a man who will respect me and not think it’s okay to make sexual comments to a woman he hasn’t even met.

  39. I never think of chat-up lines, although you’d probably think I use them. I just have a spontaneous inventive sense of humour, and let the fact that I like my date show and that I am attracted to her for a variety of reasons. I suppose I act as if I know she’ll be mine (without saying so of course), and I compliment her appearance – dress, hair etc – and personal qualities – but never make sexual comments, that is just trivialising someone, and the mistake of a nervous man. Be confident guys and make her laugh !!

  40. I just want a man who can be himself and if thats not good enough for me then he’s not the one and the same goes the other way around! Playing games unless its monopoly or the bedroom variety is very dangerous and unless you are good at poker I would stay clear!

  41. About the height thing;
    I always said I could never be with someone smaller than me, and at 5’5″ it would be well done, but then I met a boy I liked online, and he was in a wheelchair- and I didn’t care.
    He reached me to my fricking shoulders, and I didn’t mind one bit.

    Your outlook on things change with experiences, so I’d tell the guys here, hang in there and make an impression, and them maybe she wont care.

  42. Sincerity is key even if a chat up line is abit cheesy. Even if Im not attracted to the man im always flattered and respect them for making a move and risking humiliation!

  43. I’ve always liked “You’re so pretty you make me wish I was single…”, said with just the right level of intensity – you’ve got to mean it. And it works when you’re single too!

    Clearly, I’m a bad man, so why am I on this site?

  44. this is a question for the guys more than the girls,
    As a single mum for almost 3yrs, and having used more than a few dating sites over that time, I am finding the same phenomenom online as I have out and about. That although i am only 10weeks off turnig 30, the guys that contact me / approach me are either under the age of 23 or over the age of 50. And I also get inundated with emails from guys who are arab, Black, egyption and turkish, (i am in no way racist,) Having married at 10yrs my senior, and dated younger, and dated outside of my own race, I know from personal experience its not for me. But I have always been at a loss to understand why the younger guys and the older guys find me so attractive? Yet the guys of my own age are never interested. For a woman it can be disheartening to be constantly closed when you have no idea why. To find that out of 100 matches you find maybe 60 that you like and would like to know more about, But they never contact you, delete emails without even reading your mail.
    Any ideas?

  45. Steve, Manchester

    October 30, 2010 at 12:20 PM

    I think your question is actually 2 questions?

    1. why don’t men of your own age group contact you?

    2. why when you contact people don’t they reply?

    Perhaps because a lot of people on these sites are registered but not subscribers. Plus if your photo is poor it will put people off and if you have anything negative or unappealing in your profile it will reduce your chances of success. Maximise your chances by having the best and most recent photo and read the other articles on this site about profiles and what to put in them.

  46. Steve, Manchester

    October 30, 2010 at 12:21 PM

    Also there may be people who you contact who are subscribed but have started to see someone, they may reply at a future point if that dating avenue they are currently exploring terminates.

  47. Stacy does your profile photo make you look too much like the mum you are: and not the woman you are. The younger guys are looking for a woman who may take up where their own mum left off. Foreign men of the type you stated look for mothers for their children, older men only care that you are younger, and that your “mumsy” appearance means that you may settle for the older guy because he may be more likely to take care of you financially. Just a man’s view point!!!! but mums often settle on the easy to maintain look; as all their energy is spent on the kids. give some time over to being a woman as well as a mum, and you will attract men who are looking for a women who is a mum. Not a mum who used to be a woman.

  48. I acknowledge that some women will make the first move but most won’t. If women had to jump through the hoops men have to I’m sure 99% of them would be single. And all this from a generation of self professed independent go getting women. Yeah right.

  49. Guys 5 things to consider.

    1. Dress sharp
    2. Don’t look grumpy, an open welcoming persona is important.
    3. Say hello – if she does not say it back, you dodged a misery guts.
    4. Have 2 conversation starters in mind and make sure they’re open ended questions/topics.
    5. Have fun with it, rejection is part of the game and see it as a learning experience. No man and i mean 0% will be 100% successful.

    Hope this helped someone and good luck.

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