5 October 2009
Five things men want
by eHarmony
Believe us when we say that men are just as complex as women, but do you know what they really want from a relationship?
Ask any woman what men want and most will probably retort ‘sex’ or ‘beer’. But, beyond the realm of caricature, what do men really want in a relationship? The fact is that men are just as complex as women – here are five basic things that hold true about mens’ relationship needs:
1. Laughter
Most singles will look for someone with a good sense of humour – it’s no coincidence that personals will often list a GSOH in their ‘looking for’ section. Men are well aware that a couple who can share a laugh together, even in tough times, will stay together.
2. Support
Letting him know you’re on his side is incredibly important. Whether he’s had a tough day at work, or wants to take flying lessons, make sure he knows you’re backing him up. If you act as a team then nothing in life should be able to stop you.
3. Admiration
This one sounds a bit sycophantic but bear with us! We’re not talking about kissing your man’s feet every time he walks through the door, but rather letting him know you’re proud of his achievements. Whether he’s got a promotion at work or he’s the top scorer on his 5-aside football team, take an interest and you’ll feel closer than ever.
4. A social life
When you’re in a relationship there can be nothing nicer than spending a whole weekend in, hiding away from the rest of the world. But, men need the outside world (in some cases more than women) and when the time comes you’ll need to be ready to socialise as he shows you off. Whether it’s with his friends or family, be prepared to have any kind of social situation sprung on you – it should earn a ton of Brownie points at least.
5. Freedom
Something most people know in theory (though not always in practice) is that you can’t change a partner. And this most definitely applies to you man’s social habits; he may love spending lots of his time with you, but that shouldn’t come at the expense of his hobbies or evenings out. A happy him will mean a happy you – and you’ll get some alone time too.
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1
Catherine
11 November 2009 12:45
“he may love spending lots of his time with you, but that shouldn’t come at the expense of his hobbies or evenings out.”
??? Why on earth not? Is he in a relationship or not?
My ex went to football rather than attend family funerals, my mother’s big retirement/birthday bash, etc, etc. I guess he really wasn’t that into me (as subsequent events proved, LOL)
Yes, we all need our space, and I would hope to still meet up with my mates too. But my relationship would come first.
A guy who continues with his hobbies and evenings out as if he is still single/without a significant other should be kicked to the kerb!
2
Jeremy
29 November 2009 17:15
Catherine in response to your post. It is all about compromise. What this article is saying is dont expect a man to give up his hobbies or evenings out if there is nothing important on. In the case of your ex i am afraid that is not the case to miss a funeral/retirement/birthday bash etc. for football is not acceptable. If his nights out/hobbies took up all his time as well he should be expected to sacrifice some of them, or even better would be to get you involved too so that you could share some things together.
I hope things improve for you with your next relationship but dont look for someone the opposite of your ex would be my advice.
3
Jane
11 December 2009 16:59
Oops – I think I’ve inadvertantly stepped back into the ’50s.
Or maybe I just haven’t seen the article where the man supports me after a hard day’s work or is happy to have a social occasion of mine sprung on him…
Must dash – gotta get back to the 21st century
4
Abbie
14 December 2009 20:17
Catherine you are so right! If the man goes to football once a week then the woman should be able to do the same. Activities shouldn’t be as extensive as when you were single. That article sounded a bit condescending.
5
Helen B
18 February 2010 00:30
I think that a relationship should enhance your life not change it beyond all recognition. So hobbies and friends are a must for both sides in the relationship but be mature enough to know when it’s important to be together.
6
Helen B
18 February 2010 00:34
You won’t believe this one……I was actually in a relationship where he thought telling me home truths about a few things was good and should come from him – i.e. someone I love. I’m sorry but as the article says someone I love should be supportive, caring and say all the nice things……and mean them, of course. Not see it as an excuse to demean my very being.
7
Tor
23 March 2010 13:16
You guys are so right…..and just what is going on really? Why can’t couples just be happy ‘being’? Why does it always have to be about maintaining that level of control….surely when you’ve met the right person you just mould to each other and have mutual respect and want to be together rather than the ‘well I’m still going to do what I want to do, so there’ type stance….
My previous very long term relationship was all about us as a couple (sadly we just drifted apart towards the end)….there were no egos, no heel digging…..what has happened to us all?
8
May
9 October 2010 01:38
…and these are the same things that women want.