Comments on: Five women that men avoid

By: sonia

sonia — Fri, 09 Sep 2011 12:15:36 +0000

all these experiences come with the territory of dating sites, people will big themselves up and make themselves sound like superman or wonderwoman but reality is most people are just ultra ordinary and dont actually bunjee jump off cliffs like they have written they do in their profiles just as an example. people will tell lies either lil ones or humongus ones. i try to use my intincts and judgement and if someone sounds too good to be true they wont even get a date with me let alone anything else lol.

By: JEL

JEL — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 19:04:05 +0000

john jusko – we dont need anyone to go out with if they dont fit us – what is good for one will not be good for the next. Personally I think that the men on this site are for the most part very rude – they ask for honesty and kindness, and then dont have the curtesy to reply to icebreakers or emails.
As for this site, as time goes on I rarely get sent any matches, and will NOT be renewing my membership

By: john jusko

john jusko — Fri, 22 Apr 2011 04:56:28 +0000

Wow
This is good advice and we can think of some characters who fit the molds of women who are called the following.
Needy nancy Always late alice chatterbox christina cell phone and texting addict allison dull and boring denise.
They are all out there and the thing is this do we need these kinds to go out with.?

By: Siobhan

Siobhan — Wed, 30 Mar 2011 16:34:18 +0000

I also agree with comments 66-68- been only on a week but sadly paid the subscription and have been sent a small (7 to start with) selection of men that I think I would honestly struggle to find a common ground with-it seems that they all want to spent the evening prostrate on the sofa (probably mine!)watching DVDs and necking red wine, listening to jazz, having long walks in the countryside, or camping… having spent years indoors rearing the kids with no social life I am ready for a few decent nights out and a bit of fun not a future that involves trips to blockbusters, Bargain Booze and DFS for a new sofa

By: Lesley

Lesley — Sat, 26 Mar 2011 23:53:51 +0000

I have to agree with message 67 and 66. Been here about a month now – had hundred or so matches – not one solitary reply to any initial contact messages I’ve made and most of the matches are totally unsuitable – I won’t be renewing my subscription – as far as I can see there is no difference between this place and any ofthe free dating sites apart from the price – and I hate the impersonal system genterated messages.

By: JEL

JEL — Sun, 20 Mar 2011 08:51:29 +0000

I so agree with you guys that the site doesnt seem to have enough members to give us the ‘perfect matches’ promised – most of mine are ‘flex matches’,and not very good ones at that. 2 of them hadnt even answered any questions,and the only comment one made was that he thought he couldnt daye as he had been on his own for too long! great eh! And Steve in Manchester- you seem to spend a great deal of time emailing comments to dozens of these comments pages, and the answers seem very ‘in the know’ – do you actually work for Eharmony?

By: Luke

Luke — Mon, 14 Mar 2011 01:30:29 +0000

Heather – to be honest the site doesn’t get any better. Bugger all matches, bugger all of which are suitable matches looks wise, personalities are weird and it’s just always Flex Matches when you do get them because apparently NOT ONE DECENT MATCHABLE PERSON EXISTS WITHIN 30 BLOODY MILES or EVEN 60!!

By: lauren

lauren — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 22:51:21 +0000

Nicola, who messaged on the 31st August- your comment is firstly so apt and insightful and secondly the funniest thing I have read in a long time! I read it to my mum who has been very ill recently and it is the first time I have seen her laugh like that in so long- thank you I hope that where ever you are you have managed to find happiness (and not with the lying midget dentist)

By: Heather

Heather — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 12:28:14 +0000

Wow! Just read all this and it’s fascinating! I’ve just joined this site but not subscribed yet. I got 6 initial matches to my profile, all of whom were totally unsuitable! I’m an outgoing socialiser, I have a big circle of friends in the city… Why would I be matched with a guy that spends his weekends gardening and fishing?!?! And this site isn’t cheap, so if I’m going to pay I’d like to think I’m going to get more than ‘flex’ matches all the time!!

By: Jo

Jo — Mon, 07 Feb 2011 21:26:27 +0000

Hi All, Steve Manchester, are you real or are you a EH plant.
What a shame they don’t have a chat room on here?
I think there’s a fine line between being busy and just not interested if I’m gonna be really busy I’d try to maintain contact if only to say hi, is anyone really too busy to send a text? As you can see i’m a talker lol

By: Gina

Gina — Thu, 03 Feb 2011 12:27:45 +0000

Hi All

These comments are most interesting and I have learnt a lot.

It is good not to be the only person who, in ten months has had hundreds of matches and, except once (this was the person I liked the best of all my matches), sent a reply message immediately. As I’m female it probably came over as forward (both being in older age groups so background is men usually making the running). So now I will wait for a response, perhaps not quite for ever as my membership expires in 2 months and the automatically renew is cancelled – I may still renew but not automatically.

I think it was Paul saying that matches may not be paid up people. This changes the picture as many of those I sent questions to perhaps were not paid up and so their lack of replies is nothing about me!

It would be good to know at what point matches have to be paid up – I have send Must haves and can’t stands and their instant response was to close me. This is hurtful, I have no knowledge of what they didn’t like or perhaps they were overwhelmed by others they preferred with little reflection on me. However it is a waste of my time compiling the Must haves and can’t stands and also hurtful.

Like Lisa I appreciate the courtesy of a few people who sought email contact and said distance etc for a polite not interested – this is great.

Like Paul there should be an indicator perhaps the word like Enquirer beside any match that is not paid up. I have no problem with eharmony doing this matching on non paid up people as they want to grow their business and also demonstrate reasons to pay up.

Like Julie I have not had one date or met one person via eharmony in ten months. However I was in another country for 8 of them.

I think it is a brilliant new detail to have the Talking Points in the Right hand side between you and your match where you have both given the same response.

Cheers

By: Luke

Luke — Sun, 30 Jan 2011 00:37:34 +0000

Usually someone sweet, funny, interesting and half decent looking whilst close to home. That would do me!

By: Lisa

Lisa — Sat, 29 Jan 2011 10:27:24 +0000

I am with Rachel 14, there is no harm in common courtesy guys, if someone takes the trouble to get in touch and you are not interested, just say so, you have not met the person, and it saves alot of anxiety, I have never done this sort of thing before and sometimes wonder what on earth is wrong with me or the guys I message, I have had no reponses, and no for a fact I am not mad, sad, damaged you name it. What do you guys want?

By: Luke

Luke — Fri, 28 Jan 2011 10:47:38 +0000

The Needy Nusiance is the one that gets up my wick. My last ex had that issue with her. She would always imagine that if I hadn’t seen her like 2-3 times in the week minimum that I didn’t want to spend time with her. I’m a busy man, work fulltime, do professional studies, I have a life other than you therefore it’s not easy but it didnt mean I was avoiding her……………eventually though I got so sick and tired of it I didn’t want to spend time with her and ended it (there were other reasons/faults on her part that caused the breakup obviously).

By: Lisa

Lisa — Fri, 21 Jan 2011 13:19:32 +0000

I have recently put my profile on this site, as I have had two very bad experiences with men who initially appeared charming and paid, but in the end I was the one paying for everything. Paul 46 makes a fair point, I have not paid up yet, and just reading some of the stuff makes me even more cautious, I would like to think that there are a few decent men in a few miles radius of me, and lets face it I am only looking for one after all. Good luck to you all

By: Hayley

Hayley — Sun, 16 Jan 2011 17:11:30 +0000

I can’t get my head around the fact that a lot of guys think its fine to put pressure on a girl with 30 texts a day and constant phone calls and youre supposed to answer everyone or you get the ‘Hoy! Where are you? Whats going on?’ texts. This can go on everyday for ages then they suddenly disappear and if YOU send THEM a ‘Hoy! Where are you? You havent rung for 3 days’ text they say youre putting them under pressure and need to chill out!

By: Costas, Edinburgh

Costas, Edinburgh — Thu, 13 Jan 2011 21:36:33 +0000

I agree with Naomi a little, a fine balance is to be had between showing affection in the dating stage, showing too little, or too much is obviously bad. Guys do like a little bit of a chase, so dont make it to easy but at the same time show in your own way that you are interested. I didnt think it was true at first but the heart really does grow fonder when the girl is away. Ill use texts mainly to arrange things (and the uncommon chat) and phonecalls to have a chat. Texting is quite bad to get to know someone or to chat as 90% of what your saying isnt whats actually coming out your mouth, so things can easily be misunderstood both ways. Im sure both men and women would appreciate a nice phonecall than the odd text. But again if the girl or guy isnt interested… let the other person know asap…its only fair, and if it was the other way around you would want the same done to you.

By: Adele

Adele — Sun, 09 Jan 2011 15:18:40 +0000

I am in my mid 40`s and have only recently joined this website,i know of 2 people who have been very successful in meeting their match off here and either got married or enjoying many happy years together therefore decided to give it a try myself.I Admit it has only been 3 weeks since i joined but like most of you i send a few friendly icebreakers to some men and get no reply so i will give it the 3 months and if still no joy then will move on with my life and feel better within myself that at least i gave it a go after all nothing ventured nothing gained.Good Luck to you all in the future

By: Pauline

Pauline — Thu, 06 Jan 2011 00:38:06 +0000

Anyway, back to the topic matter…

In all honesty I think I have been a little bit of all of the things listed above at some point in my life! Eek!! I can hear the sound of men running a mile!!! And, I think if we’re all honest (including you boys) most of us have to some degree.

However, as I have matured(LOL!) and experienced life, I have gained self-confidence and self-worth, I have a great group of friends and don’t need a man in my life. However, I would love to share my life with that special someone. And I mean SHARE – not be consumed by him or consume him.

It’s been great reading all the comments on here – especially those from the male perspective. Thank you.

By: Pauline

Pauline — Thu, 06 Jan 2011 00:29:34 +0000

I have found this thread to be really enlightening and entertaining!
Ayrchire Girl (#45) I completely agree with the comments you made about a degree in psycology and over analysing. I think (hope) that boundaries can be set easily once you have met your match or talked/phoned for a while. I am hoping that if you feel some chemistry then a discussion about these things would come naturally (or am I being naive?).
Paul (#46) the fully paid up member indicator is a great idea and I hope eHarmony take this on board. I have deleted about 50′ish matches already that I think come under this category, and I would rather use my time with men who are genuinely committed to finding a partner.
Julie (#52) you sound lovely and I hope you have better luck soon. I do agree that if you have made an initial contact then the least your match can do is to acknowledge receipt and kindly let you down (I received one of these earlier tonight – instead of wanting to get to know me he said the distance would be a problem for him – ok; but I know you can set up distance in your settings – so; this was obviously a knock back which I am ok about. However, how is this done without making the receiver feel disheartened and rejected? I too need to send one of these but want to be kind. Any advice would be gratefully received.

By: Julie

Julie — Sun, 19 Dec 2010 10:08:23 +0000

Hi Guys

I agree with mostly all the comments above. I always pay my way, going dutch is much more comfortable for me. I would have serious doubts about anybody who expects others to pay for their drinks – be it girlfriends/boyfriends/family even, it is only good manners. I have had hundreds of matches sent to me, have sent loads of ‘icebreakers’ and have probably had only 5 replies, none of which have gone anywhere. I don’t have two heads, I am reasonably attractive, articulate, have a job, and am reasonably humerous. I have started emailing with some of them, but they don’t even have the decency to say ‘I don’t think it is working out’ or words to that effect, which I think is very rude. I have actually asked them to email me if they don’t want to continue and still heard nothing. I have been on this website for over a year and haven’t even had one date yet. It is very disheartening

By: Steve, manchester

Steve, manchester — Mon, 22 Nov 2010 18:47:09 +0000

Rod, I agree. And I think the best rule it to walk away from a girl like that before as soon as you see the signs. Usually if I meet a girl for a drink, I’ll only see her again for a proper date if during the course of the evening she has made a trip to get her ’round’ in. I’ve dated girls who aren’t well paid but manage to pay for a drink so if they can do it then so can all the rest.

By: rod

rod — Sat, 20 Nov 2010 14:04:24 +0000

Steve – I totally agree with your comments about some girls just wanting everything paid for. One girl I dated had no kids, good job, new flat & car. didnt even bother bringing a purse/handbag on dates. A lot of girls are very happy in my experience to let the guy spend all his money – even if she has a good income herself.

By: Steve, manchester

Steve, manchester — Thu, 18 Nov 2010 16:19:55 +0000

thank you, I’m blushing! x

By: Gill (Glasgow)

Gill (Glasgow) — Thu, 18 Nov 2010 11:59:09 +0000

To steve
I wish you lived in Glasgow too!!!