Comments on: 8 things you need to know about dating older women

By: KEN

KEN — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 12:36:01 +0000

As a geezer, I find this article patronising and way of beam,…Who, whom or and in what century wrote this twaddle?,…..

By: J

Tue, 18 Oct 2011 00:31:28 +0000

This article appears to have been written by someone quite bitter. Load of tosh.

By: Heather

Heather — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 12:36:12 +0000

Just a note to the girls (because that what we are!;-) ) commenting on being sent profiles of much older men, I had the same issue, it defaults to this but you can change it and then specify that the age range you have chosen is extremely important. That way you’ll hopefully get guys in the age bracket you are looking for! (or not!) best of luck

By: Helen, Northwest

Helen, Northwest — Tue, 04 Jan 2011 17:47:27 +0000

Made me giggle this did . Us ladies who our in our 40′s and Older .We certainly don’t suff fools lightly .Most of us have been there done that and got the t’shirt . As for the childern bit ..if like myself you have childern most guys will presumme your looking for a father for them …lol how wrong that is, they have one , we are looking for a partner and childern do fit into that part of your life. Not many men can see past ‘she has childern ‘ thing. But its appears to ok for a man to be a single parent? A tad one sided i think. I too have dated younger guys than myself in long relationships , I must be honest i got bored as they where all too keen to settle into the lets sit in front of the tv , because your old doesnt mean you want to that …not everynite . we still have pluse and enjoy doing things that everyone else does. The gealth point that was raised in the article …made me laugh …we dont have time to ill let alone much else. Us females get on with it as for the menopause ??? its not like ‘man flu’ it happens we will deal with it when we get there. The money thing was another that made me laugh …if your grown up no matter how old you are you gotta live but you have to enjoy yourself too. All work n no play makes for a very dull life indeed. But going the pub 7 nights a week , your not going to be able to go on holiday or buy that item you had your eye for ages , but you still got to have sun while your saving up for what ever …no point otherwise .

By: CL

CL — Tue, 28 Dec 2010 16:38:53 +0000

I think point 1 is a valid point. It is an issue that a younger man should think carefully about before getting invovled with an older woman. My ex boyfriend is 28 and I am 43. After 3 and a half years, he decided to use the reason of not wanting to miss out in life because of OUR (note: its not just me)fertility problems and that he doesn’t want to be lonely if I am the one that dies before him as a reason for his exit.

By: guymace

guymace — Fri, 12 Nov 2010 04:30:30 +0000

Is this your mad week,or your hungry
week?
Your sad week or your angry week?
My weeks are all the same-
No blood, no sweat, no tears, just bodily monotony. Shame
I couldn’t be a girl for a few years.
(On second thoughts perhaps a week or two- or even just an afternoon would do!)

My 2nd partner after a broken marriage was 1/3 my age (19-57) my lastwas 20 years my junior; I wasn’t seeking younger partners, it just happened like that. Age isn’t really central, affinity is. (Who wrote that book “In praise of older women”?)

By: Teresa

Teresa — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 13:08:39 +0000

same thing with me sally i am only ever matched to men in theirs fifties or sixes
who are never interested but i tend to have much better luck with much younger men in fact i was recently asked out by a man of 29 [i am 50] i declined but i still can,t stop smiling about it even now.

By: Sally

Sally — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 00:11:39 +0000

It is funny but I am 52 and on dating websites only get quite old guys being matched with me. In real life the men that ask me out are between 32 and 38 and never, ever my age or older. I just don’t date oldies cos I don’t need too yet but these dating websites are bizarre, that is why I am not bothering with them anymore. I like sexy young men and they like me.

By: Diane (Glasgow)

Diane (Glasgow) — Thu, 23 Sep 2010 00:09:04 +0000

Im with Cheryl I dont have and never have wanted kids I could’nt eat a whole one anyway!! And re the point about illness jesus I had more illnesses in my 20-30′s than I have in the last 15 years!! I also have more energy at 48 than I did at 21!!
2,3,4 & 8 are the only ones I will in part agree with but thats just because I have experience but thats not to say EVERY woman in her 40′s has the same experience as some may have been in a marriage since their 20′s and just came out of it and will have less experience in some areas so generalising is wrong!

By: cat

cat — Sat, 18 Sep 2010 20:35:59 +0000

Well done folks. Point no. 6 will have utterly put off any men even considering a woman over 45 and sent them running for the youngsters. Great. Just what we need.

By: marie

marie — Sat, 28 Aug 2010 13:04:49 +0000

@Isa – agree entirely! I’d say 90% of the matches I’ve had have been older than me – and significantly so, in some cases – and of the remaining 10% none have been more than three/four years younger max. That may of course be because most men are only interested in younger women – in eHarmony’s defence, the software can only match what’s matchable.

I also find bits of this post simplistic and somewhat insulting, but hey – it’s sparked a good debate!

By: sarah

sarah — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 00:06:47 +0000

I am 63 and have not been seriously hit on by a man my age or older since I was 28. I took a long break from the whole sex thing, and even thought of never going back to it. Recently I thought of going back. Now I am being hit on by a gorgeous, much younger (so much younger I am afraid to ask) man. I don’t have money, so it’s not that. I think it may be that I totally ignored him for the first five months I knew him.Or have I got a light bulb over my head? What is it? Maybe it is that I never had kids & was never much of a housewife during my ten year marriage, and maybe it is that. I have been kind of a hippie, punk, raver, etc. I straighten up and get myself under control, and then somehow the children drag me into corruption no matter how well I try to behave. I do not hate myself even one little bit and often believe God likes me best.

By: Rachel

Rachel — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 09:15:04 +0000

As a 54 year old woman, I think this article is pretty spot on. OK, so when you take all the points together, it sounds a bit cliche, but there are some valid ideas…I certainly agree with point 8 – us older women know your game younger men!!!

Also, Isa, you might want to look here: http://www.eharmony.co.uk/relationship-advice/dating/2010/01/8-things-you-need-to-know-about-dating-older-men

By: Isa

Isa — Mon, 31 May 2010 14:02:21 +0000

I am a 38 years old woman and I found it odd when I joined eharmony that many of my matches were 10 years older than me but none more than 3 years younger. This fact and this article, seem to indicate a gender bias in eharmony, which I am not happy with.
I vote for this article to be excluded from the site unless one is added about the risks of dating older man. The article is really gender biased, patronising and chauvinistic. Please stop reinforcing machist stereotypes if you do not whish to alienate your women costumers. As our comments clearly demonstrate – we do not like it.

By: J

Tue, 25 May 2010 15:23:11 +0000

One further question how young is too young? At 43 is 30 too much of an age gap!?

By: J

Tue, 25 May 2010 15:22:17 +0000

Whoo hoo. Cougars Rock!

By: J

Tue, 25 May 2010 15:20:25 +0000

As a 40 something female who doesn’t want children I would like to concur with the comments above, but I especially liked SAJ’s comments, they made me laugh out loud. I think, given half a chance, I am a cougar in the making and that’s probably the nicest nickname that’s been handed out to older women in quite a while. But, I have to say that the health points are valid. There’s no denying that women do go through this phase in life, it’s just that we have more tools to deal with it than before. I’m looking forward to finding myself a nice, healthy and energetic young man. One question though, at 43, how young is too young? 5 years younger? 10 years younger? There is a very nice chap I work with but he’s 13 years younger than me, is that too much?

By: SAJ

SAJ — Tue, 18 May 2010 09:32:59 +0000

I beg to differ with the comments above! As a 52 year old woman dating a 39 year old man, I believe the points in the article are valid. Some older women might be on the lookout for a ‘sperm donor’and anyone who is already a decent mother will do their best to balance the needs of their children with those of a new partner. The hints about menopause were certainly worth giving but ‘night sweats’ and ‘hot flushes’ were not mentioned. My boyfriend loves them – especially in the winter!!!

By: JM

JM — Sun, 16 May 2010 04:08:47 +0000

Would like to agree with many women above that not all of us ever wanted children nor ever do and add that I prefer slightly younger men for their energy but need said men to know for sure that they either do or don’t ever want children. I’m keen on finding a life long love and it would hurt like the dickens if a couple of years in, he decided he did want children when previously he didn’t. Gentlemen, please spare a sincere woman the pain of losing you when all you had to do was seriously consider your desires in the first place.

By: Helen

Helen — Tue, 11 May 2010 10:14:54 +0000

The money bit made me howl, I am sadly the woman who is pathologically attracted to the ‘wrong’ type. When it comes to money it’s by no means the women who are the gold diggers, I have met plenty of men on these sites who are unable to cope financially (usually because of an addiction of one sort or another) I always feel deeply offended when women are referred to as gold diggers. If I had pursued some of the relationships I’ve had I would be in the gutter along with my son, however I did see the light eventually and steer clear.

By: Jan

Jan — Mon, 10 May 2010 21:41:09 +0000

Sorry to the ones that have commented on this article, but with some experience dating older women it’s not far off the mark. It’s not a criticism of women of an age, just advice on women older than the man. A couple have attempted to pressure me for kids just because they’ve waited too long and you’ve all gotten hung up on the first point about kids and ignored the rest of it.

Just because you feel this doesn’t apply to you, doesn’t make it patronising. There’s plenty of criticism of men on here in all their guises too and if you don’t like how some other women behave, for whatever reason, tough, you’ll just have to wear it along with the rest of humanity.

By: Juliet

Juliet — Sun, 09 May 2010 21:06:04 +0000

HRT!!!!! Women aged between 45 and 55 are often very vibrant, sexy and love the freedom that comes with confidence of life experiences. Depression, anxiety and memory loss? Thanks for your support!

By: Jessica

Jessica — Sat, 08 May 2010 09:53:30 +0000

I’m in my late twenties and have decided I don’t want to have kids. This seems VERY difficult for a lot of people to believe! I’m sick of being seen as ‘the potential mother of my children’. I am very much looking forward to hitting my 30s, 40s and 50s but have no idea how I am going to deal with attitudes like this when I can barely cope with the comments now. Perhaps by the time I’m 45 I’ll be chloroformed and have IVF forced upon me (which incidentally, is how the first recorded artificial insemination took place)

By: Gale

Gale — Wed, 05 May 2010 13:23:06 +0000

Who on earth wrote this rubbish? It must have been a man. You make women sound like freaks of nature – particularly in your comments about menopause.

By: SW

SW — Sun, 02 May 2010 10:17:15 +0000

I was browsing your site as I am considering joining – but this article has deterred me. memory problems and health warnings on women over 45? where is the article about dating older men – or is it only women between 45 and 55 who fall ill in the strange world of the author of this article?