As a companion piece to  ‘five things men want ^[1]‘, we’ve compiled the (just as hotly debated) ‘five things women want in a relationship’. Over the last 30 years we have become a world of career women and house husbands, and as the gender roles have blurred men have found it harder to work out what women expect of them.

At eHarmony, our Relationship Questionnaire enables us to collect lots of useful information about what women want (and don’t want) in a partner. Here are our top five observations:

A man who can speak from the heart
This isn’t a big shocker – women want a man who can talk about his feelings and know how to express themselves. Women know that sharing is good, especially in relationships ^[2]. But, this doesn’t mean women want a man who will cry at the first sign of a problem. It’s a tricky line to walk guys, between sensitivity and masculinity.

An honest man
Who doesn’t want honesty? It’s the foundation of any good relationship, and lies have been the end of many a bad relationship. In the eHarmony Relationship Questionnaire honesty is consistently rated as the most important quality women are looking for in a man. Before assuming you’re honest, think through your eHarmony profile responses – are they all true to you?

An emotionally sorted man
Emotional health does not mean that you have all your problems solved, but women do want men who have a handle on their emotions. Confidence is hugely attractive, and emotional stability allows women to feel they can open up to a man – and trust him.

A peacemaker
Men are hardwired to compete to win at pretty much anything. But relationships are an exception to this rule, and women want a man who recognises that. They’re looking for someone who is comfortable with compromise and happy to say ‘I was wrong’ when the time is right.

An attractive man
We’re not saying you need to look like Brad Pitt, but women, like men, also find physical appearance important. You can help yourself, not by spending hours in the gym, but simply by making sure you upload a great photograph. At eHarmony we see thousands of profile pictures of men and women, and we have observed that on average women take more time to find the ‘right’ photograph. They dress nicely, pick a good spot and use a decent camera to take the photo.

Unfortunately, a lot of the male photos tend to be grainy, dark and at strange angles. Think about what that says about not just your appearance but your character too – if you can’t be bothered to upload a decent photo, then what else can’t you be bothered to do? When you’re choosing your profile picture, take time to pick one that really shows off your best features.