2 February 2010
Five things you should NEVER say on a first date
Nerves sometimes get the better of us all on a first date, and we say things we regret as soon as we leave the restaurant. Conversation on a date is key, but saying some of these things will have you relegated to the ‘never see again’ pile.
The way you communicate on a first date is very important; it lets your date know about you and vice versa, and it shows you if that essential ‘spark’ is there. But there are some subjects that should never be touched on during those first tentative weeks, especially not on a first date.
Want to get to date number two? Then you’ll want to avoid these…
1. When are you planning on walking down the aisle?
Light and airy should be the tone of a first date. Conversation surrounding similar interests, jobs and musical tastes is perfect – asking about your date’s life plans is not. Keep in mind that that you are pretty much strangers, and questions like ‘What kind of wedding do you want?’ could be classed as rude or straight up scary. This applies whether you see yourself in the wedding photos or not. If you really want to know if your date is looking for a long-term relationship, look at their lifestyle, career and living arrangements which should give you good clues as to where they are in their lives.
2. You’re how old?
Your date may have the odd grey hair or wrinkle (amount depending on the age range you’re dating in of course), but unless you genuinely think they’ve lied about their age, this is just plain rude. If you have the urge to ask, yet you’re having a good time with your date, ask yourself, ‘Why does it matter?’
3. Do you have any kinky secrets?
However well you’re getting on, however much you think the sexual tension is crackling between you, refrain from asking about your date’s bedroom antics. Even said as a joke, you’re asking about someone’s most intimate desires, and they may not feel that comfortable with you. At best you’ll seem a bit crass, at worst you’ll sound perverted…You’re not playing drinking games with old university mates this evening.
4. Can you lend me some cash?
As we mentioned above, your date is a virtual stranger, so borrowing money off them is an absolute no-no. Even if you have the best of intentions and hope to see them again, they don’t know that. And ultimately, it gives the impression you can’t look after yourself, which is not an attractive quality. They’re also likely to think that the reason you asked them on the date was to get a free meal or drinks.
5. You’re the man/woman of my dreams!
We all go on dates with the hope that they might lead to something more, and if it’s an especially good date, you might even have a good feeling about the future. However, this is not the time to voice this thought. Hopefully, your date is having similar positive thoughts about you, but most people take longer than a few hours to process this information. Bite your tongue on this one, whatever signals you’re getting.