22 July 2010
5 ways to tell if your date wants a kiss
The end of date kiss can be a minefield – does my date want a kiss? What kind of a kiss? When shall I make my move? Here’s how to judge that moment perfectly.
Picture a near-perfect date, the conversation has been flowing, the chemistry is electric, so naturally you want to send the evening on a high and give your date a good night kiss. But then you start to second guess yourself wondering if you’ve read the signals right, or if you’re going to get a swift rejection of your advances. Here’s how to be as sure as you can that you’re making the right move.
Getting touchy feely
It’s the little things that count – the brush of the arm, catching them giving you a coy smile, or even placing their hand over yours at the dinner table. These body language indicators all say that your date is interested – and the longer each movement lingers, the more interested they are. If it seems like they’re hesitant, don’t assume your date isn’t interested, they may just be shy. Try some subtle body language and see how they respond. For example, instead of placing your hand over theirs at the dinner table, try touching their arm when you want to make a conversational point and see what happens.
Gauge the hug
We all know that the end of night hug is often the pre-cursor to that all important kiss. So that hug should give you a lot of the clues you need as to whether you should go in for the kiss or not. Does the hug go on longer than expected, with an extra squeeze thrown in for good measure? Or is it brief ending with a sharp pat on the back? If it’s the former, that might be the perfect moment to go in for a kiss. And if it’s the latter, you probably shouldn’t get your hopes up about this one.
Look to the lulls
Every date has in-between times, when either partner has a good opportunity to make their excuses. After dinner, for example, is a great time to crack out the old ‘Well, I’ve got to be up early, so I’d better be heading off’ excuse. If your date doesn’t take these chances, then you’ve got a pretty good indicator that they’re eager to carry on getting to know you – and if it’s them suggesting another drink, then that’s a big green light.
Try the direct approach
Some people like to be asked if they can be kissed, and if you’re still not sure how your date feels at the end of the night then you could always try this more direct approach. Perhaps it’s a little old fashioned, but some women especially appreciate being asked – partly because that means they can say ‘no’ if they feel uncomfortable. Of course, you might just come across as being a bit of a coward, that’s the risk you take. If you’re considering this approach remember this, we’re just talking about a kiss here, not a marriage proposal. If your date isn’t interested they can always offer you their cheek instead – no harm done.
Time it right
One of the eHarmony team members once went on a date with a man who decided to kiss her in the middle of the road. A busy road. We’ll never know why he chose that moment, but it was far from ideal. Choose a moment when you’re relatively alone and don’t have any distractions – in particular, don’t make that moment when your date is going to have to run for a bus or a train. Don’t leave ‘the moment’ until the very end of the date, as by this point you’ll both have built up the nervous tension so much that you might end up regressing to teenagers and clashing teeth!
The key to all of this is to give your date the attention they deserve. This will help you pick up on their signals and work out whether a kiss is in order – or not. Also, don’t think about it too much (though we know that can be tough) or you’ll come across like some kind of date robot, which isn’t an attractive look.