In the age of email, texting and instant messenger it’s almost possible to avoid phone conversations altogether. But when it comes to dating – especially online dating ^[1] – the phone call is still an intrinsic part of the process. After all, who wants to meet up with someone without first hearing their voice?

At the same time, making a phone call can be nerve racking, especially when you’ve never met the person before – that first impression you make over the phone is very important. Unlike with an email, you can’t ‘delete’ anything that doesn’t sound right.

Here are nine top tips to help you through that first phone call – and secure that date.

1.    Avoid using a mobile
There’s nothing worse than having an important conversation only to lose signal half way through. If you can, use a landline to avoid this embarrassing situation.

2.    Be cheery
Even if the conversation isn’t going to plan, keep your tone light and cheery. Remember, it’s all the other person’s got to go on; they can’t read your facial expressions, so it’s incredibly important.

3.    Put the other person at ease
Let the other person know that you’re really happy to be speaking to them, and relax them by commenting on their conversational skills. For example, when they ask a question say something like ‘Now that’s an interesting thought…’. The more relaxed you both are, the easier the conversation will be.

4.    Elaborate on your replies
Short answers are a definite no-no here. Use the questions your match asks you as a chance to tell them something really interesting about yourself. For example, if your match says ‘How was your day?’, you could reply with something like, “It was great – I had the chance to have lunch at a great little sushi bar near work with an old friend from school, and now I’m talking to you!” This tells the other person 3 things, that say so much more than just ‘Yeah, it was good’:

•    That you enjoy sushi
•    That you keep in touch with old friends
•    That you’re pleased to be talking to them

5.    Change your answers into questions
To learn more about your match, and show you’re interested in them, turn questions round on them. Using the example above, after replying you could say, ‘So, where’s your favourite place to eat sushi’. This allows the conversation to flow freely, and should help avoid any awkward silences.

6.    Remember, this isn’t an interview
At the same time, it’s important to remember that you’re having a friendly, relaxed conversation – you’re not carrying out an interrogation. Don’t ask questions for the sake of it, and don’t ask question after mundane question.

7.    Know when to end the conversation
There’s nothing worse than a conversation being strung out for the sake of it. If you feel like the pace is slowing, find a polite way to end things, and try and be as genuine as possible. For example, you could say something like, ‘Gosh, it’s 8pm already and I promised my Mum I’d give her a call. Hopefully I’ll hear from you soon.’ This is a very valid reason and doesn’t make you sound needy. Unless you’re already agreed a date to meet, don’t make a big point about deciding when you’ll next talk.

8.    And finally, don’t ever…
•    Eat food
•    Chew gum
•    Flush the toilet (!)
•    Watch TV
•    Or make it sound like you’re doing anything else

The person on the other end of the phone deserves your full attention, you don’t really need to multitask by checking your emails at the same time now do you?