Relationship Advice


How to spot a serial dater

eHarmony

We’ve got some bad news for you; not everyone you’ll meet on your dating journey will have the best intentions towards you. If you’ve been dating for a while, you might have already figured that out, but some people still need to know.

We’ve covered off all sorts of daters your might encounter, in these pages, including the friend date , the American date and the second time around date.  But today we want to talk about the serial dater – and how important it is to steer clear of them.

What is a serial dater?
The serial dater is someone who refuses to play by the rules that we’ve all silently laid down as good conduct when dating. The serial dater loves the thrill of chase; they love the first couple of dates; they relish that new date feeling. Maybe it’s an ego thing, maybe its a boredom thing, but securing a new date is their ultimate high.

What’s the problem there, you might ask? After all, who doesn’t like going on a first date with someone they really like? Who doesn’t love that feeling when the other person accepts your invitation to dinner or drinks? The problem is, that’s the only bit they do like. For serial daters it’s downhill all the way from there. If you’ve been unfortunate enough to go on some dates with a serial dater, you can be sure you won’t see them for dust in a few weeks time.

How do I spot a serial dater?
It’s important you can spot these so called ‘serial’ daters so that you can hopefully get out before you get hurt, or simply avoid them completely.

To the serial dater, dating isn’t about looking for a partner to settle down with eventually. It’s about reeling people in, securing their interest and then moving onto the next person. Here are some of their more prominent character traits – a ‘Spotters’ Guide’ if you will…

They want to rush things. Your serial dater can’t wait to go on a date, and then can’t wait to get intimate. Why? Because the aim is to get to the ‘goods’ as soon as possible. For the serial dater, all the rules around building a solid, lasting relationship go out the window.

They have wandering eyes. A pretty obvious one this: if they’re checking everyone else out while you’re on your date, you’ve probably got a serial dater on your hands. They have a serious case of ‘the grass is always greener’ and they’re trying to find out how green the waitress/bar man/taxi driver/person at the next table is.

They’re easily bored. If you’re not interested in building a relationship with someone, chances are you’re not going to be that bothered about getting to know them. Your serial dater won’t ask you questions about yourself, and will probably try and rush you through the evening. That’s your cue to hail a taxi.

A final note
Not everyone is like this. In fact, serial daters are a minority, but they are out there so we want you to be prepared. Whether you date online, through friends or go speed dating, it’s possible you’ll meet one of these types. But at least you’ll be prepared.

Have you met a serial dater? What was your experience?

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6 thoughts on “How to spot a serial dater

  1. Wow , that is really something and it surely makes me wonder that if I am one. This is because being a single man , a regular sexual activity does not exist for me and when one presents , I take it like a hungry man.
    But, hold on why is that so bad if I am a man. It happens because, I don’t want to be rude on a date and say to a woman I am on the date with that they are not quite what I had expected from their profile , including the fact that their pictures were much better than they are in real life. I even complement on their looks, because that is what women expect of a man, to pay attention to them and praise them. Now sometimes some of these women start getting intimate and if I please them instead of declining their advances, I cannot see that how would that make somebody in a similar situation as a serial dater , just because I too became intimate in response to the intimacy shown to me.
    And by the way, if there was a woman I really like and the feeling was mutual, I would not be rushing into anything.
    Here is something I read somewhere.

    If u TREAT her nicely, she says u are IN LOVE with her;

    If u Don’t, she says u are PROUD.

    If u ARGUE with her, she says u are STUBBORN;

    If u keep QUIET,! she says u have no BRAINS.

    If u are SMARTER than her, she’ll lose FACE;

    If she’s Smarter than u, she is GREAT.

    If u don’t Love her, she tries to POSSESS u;

    If u Love her, she will try to LEAVE u .(very true huh?)

    If u don’t make love with her., she says! u don’t Love her;

    If u do!! she says u are CHEAP.

    If u tell her your PROBLEM, she says u are TROUBLESOME;

    If u don’t, she says that u don’t TRUST her.

    If u SCOLD her, u are like a family elder to her;

    If she SCOLDS u, it is because she CARES for u.

    If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;

    If she BREAKS hers, she is FORCED to do so.

    If u SMOKE, u are BAD BOY;

    If she SMOKES, she is a GENTLELADY.

    If u do WELL in your exams, she says it’s LUCK;

    If she does WELL, it’s BRAINS.

    If u HURT her, u are CRUEL;

    If she HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!

    & sooo hard to please!!!!!

    If u send this to girls, they will swear that it’s not

    true…….

    but if u don’t, they say u are selfish…..

    The moral of the story is…….
    that men are always taken wrong no matter how hard they try.

  2. And just to add to above, in such situations I also make a point of telling the other person that i AM NOT LOOKING TO SETTLE DOWN , but just looking for nice companionship as at that stage in time.

  3. Ouch Jay who rattled your cage .We are all grown ups perhaps we should just take responsibility for our own actions . No women will get intimate unless she wants to.

  4. Wow Jay
    loved your article.
    loved your honesty.
    What a giggle a just had.;)x

  5. Kat , I think that you may have misread my opening comments above or am I missing something. I never said that I suggested to these women , that I want to get physical with them, but as they were wanting to do so, I just did not turn them down, so to not to hurt their feelings.
    But there is a lot of truth albiet funny, as Veronica has confirmed with some laughter moments she experienced .

  6. I am a Serial Dater and proud. You have it completely wrong. In fact, a Serial dater is a person who dates different people. It has nothing to do with a thrill. I like to think I am bringing back the tradition of courting and getting to know people and how they relate to you. You are foolish if you think every person you meet and date is Mister or Misses right. As a matter of fact, I have been suckered into exclusively dating someone, only to find out he had other intentions. I also, do not mix dating with sex. I am single and love to socialize and if Mr. Right comes my way, then that will be awesome. You are not an expert, if this is the advice you give people. You are just trying to forward your dating site with hype. No one should settle and now that I am a mature women, I refuse to settle, and will continue dating, until I meet my match.

    With regards,
    LillyLee
    AKA
    Serial Dater

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