Relationship Advice


8 things you should never do after a first date

eHarmony

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A great first date will give you butterflies and that giddy feeling like you’re 17 again. A bad first date can make you feel like you’ll never find that special someone. Whatever kind of first date you’ve had here are eight things you should never do afterwards.

1.       Go text crazy

After you meet someone you feel a connection with, oxytocin kicks in and removes any sense of restraint you once had.  This can unleash the text monster within, prompting you to text your date even when they haven’t responded to your last missive. If this sounds like you, take a deep breath and step away from the phone. If your date isn’t getting back to you as quickly as you’d like, staring at your phone won’t help, nor will sending more texts. It was just a first date, not a proposal!

2.       Over analyse

We’re all guilty of over analysing a little sometimes, but overall it’s not a healthy thing to do – especially when it comes to dating. It’s so easy to wonder whether a particular hand touch or laugh was important but it’s also futile. The only way to know if someone liked you is to see if they agree to another date!

3.       Add them on Facebook, follow them on Twitter, pin to their Pinterest board…

Social media has added a whole new dimension to dating, and it can be a really great way to stay in touch with someone. But, it can also cause a whole host of problems. We’d never advise finding someone online unless you really think your relationship is going somewhere. Adding a date on a social network after just one meeting, even if you’ve had a great time,  can be very awkward,  especially if the second date doesn’t work out…

4.       Tell yourself you’ll be single forever

Bad first dates are tough. You build up to the big day, hoping they’ll be someone special, and then when there’s no chemistry it’s a real let down. This kind of situation can lead to a real ‘ I’m never going to meet someone’ mentality, but this is the worst thing you can do.

5.       Act like you’re in a relationship

One date does not make a relationship, and yet some people seem to get confused about this. One date doesn’t mean the other person needs to return your calls immediately, be your emotional support or help you move house. Know the difference between ‘dating’ and ‘in a relationship’.

6.       Cut off all contact with other matches

When you’re in the early stages of dating, anything can happen. After a first date you might think you’ve met the one, or you might write them off completely. Whatever happens, you shouldn’t cut off other matches; keep all your options open. We’re not saying you should do this 10 dates in, but it’s perfectly acceptable to go on a coffee date with someone on one day, and then the next day go out for drinks with someone else.

7.       Tell your friends & family you’ve met The One

When you meet someone you have a real spark with you want to tell the world about this amazing person. We say, restrain yourself until you at least become exclusive. If you shout about this person from the rooftops only to find they don’t want a second date then you’ll feel pretty deflated.

8.       Play games

Playing games is not cool at all. Waiting a certain amount of time to text back, mentioning other dates to make them jealous, or simply pretending to be someone else means you deserve not to get a second date. Just be yourself!

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6 thoughts on “8 things you should never do after a first date

  1. I’m very guilty of no4, though it’s not just after a date I feel like that. To be honest I’ve felt like that my whole life, so it’s hard to shake it off.

    Also, no2. I tend to over think, a lot.

  2. Can I add a number 9?

    9. Don’t tell your date you want to see them again and then text them a couple of days later saying you met someone better and will go with that!!! Some people can be real flakes.

  3. I think number 4, I went on one online date with a guy in his photos he looked good, but when I met him his teeth were black! he didn’t have clean clothes on and that was our 1st date! and no I didn’t see him again.

    Another thing which is a red flag I always ask if they are on other dating web sights I’ve been on two 1st dates with guy’s I’ve met thought eHarmony and they where on 3 or 4 other sights at the same time.

  4. Some sensible,common sense advice here that I wish I had followed myself…
    A year ago I met a guy through a dating site and after the first date he sent me some really lovely messages. After the second he told me that he was falling for me and then after the third he asked me to come off the site as now that he had found me he did not want to lose me. Amazing stuff to a woman who has not experienced amazing stuff.
    The short version is that as a soldier he was away a lot and he asked me to wait and not to forget him. I waited for over 6 months for our fourth date but the space was filled with thousands of messages through a well known social platform. When I began to hear “warning bells” I sadly chose to “dig” rather than have the courage to simply end it. Because ‘it’ really didn’t exist as throughout the year he has been seeing countless other women and his ‘missions’ were those women that he communicated with via FB sadly saying all the same things that he said to me – to them. Although heartbroken and betrayed I realise my part in this too. This guy is damaged and predatory. If I had been stronger I would not have fallen for him, in fact I would have been repelled by his actions and now see this very clearly and I thank him for the lesson and I wish him every happiness. We all deserve that.
    The relationship I need to work on is really the one I have with myself. Relationships with others really are the ‘icing on the cake’ and a relationship with a lover/partner then perhaps should be the ‘cherry on the icing’. A lovely addition, but not totally necessary.
    I am healing very slowly, I was deeply in love with a guy who quite simply did not really exist.

  5. I just got back from a first date and i think it went really well but just like always I’m doing no2 right now. I keep thinking about the small things like the way we said goodbye and the way we worked out paying etc
    I need to just step back from it and try not to go crazy!!

  6. I met a guy on a first date after three or four weeks of corresponding via eharmony. The conversations flowed, we had real chemistry and the date went extremely well. However after the date I felt like he was playing mind games with me, texting me to suggesting I was pining for him and him not declaring his own feelings. If I am confused now, it probably won’t get much better so I have decided to just go on other dates and enjoy myself and have some innocent fun. He can’t play mind games with me on his own. o:)

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