26 April 2010
Male dating mistakes
Everybody makes mistakes – it’s just whether they’re honest that decides the outcome. Ladies, look out for these mistakes men make when dating. And gentlemen, are you guilty of any of these?
Mistakes make us human, and in the highly pressured environment of a date they’re more likely to happen. Whether it’s booking a sushi restaurant for a date who hates fish, or turning up late because you got the train times wrong, we have to accept that sometimes things go wrong.
What’s important though is being on the lookout for the mistakes that can be avoided – the ones that stem from selfishness, insensitivity or just plain rudeness.
Getting physical on the first date
It’s a well-known convention that men generally put more emphasis on instant physical attraction than women. He might be eager to go in for the kiss at the end when the woman just isn’t ready. If he’s really pushy, he might be angling to jump into bed. Any man that’s serious about trying to cultivate a relationship with his date shouldn’t push things too far.
Take cues from your date’s body language – if she hasn’t got her hands all over you it doesn’t mean she’s not interested, she just might want to take things slower. By reining it in a bit, you’ll show her respect that should mean she’s more likely to accept a second date.
Not shutting up
Everyone wants to feel that their date is interested in them, that they’re listening to what they’re saying and responding in a positive manner. However many men (and quite a few women) see a date as a job interview – they tell their date their life story without pausing for breath. Don’t fall into this trap; ask questions, listen to what your date’s saying and allow your personality to come out naturally during the course of the conversation.
Some men think that being as charming as possible to their date is where it ends. But most women are looking at the bigger picture – how you talk to the waiter, whether you tip, whether you tell un-PC jokes. The devil is in the detail, so be polite to everyone, not just your date.
Eyeing up other women on the date
You might think you’re being subtle looking the pretty waitress up and down when she comes to take your order, but trust us your date has noticed. Women are highly attuned to this behaviour (they’ve probably been on the receiving end more than a few times) and it doesn’t look good. It send the signal that you’ve only got half a mind on your date and that you’re keeping your options open. Give your date the full attention she deserves. And if you really can’t keep your eyes to yourself, maybe you ask yourself why you really decided to take your date out.
Nobody is perfect, and any reasonable woman will know that wasn’t your fault if you take a date to see a bad film, for example. But if your mistakes seem grounded in rudeness they’ll be spotted a mile off and you won’t see her for dust.