Relationship Advice


Dating myths debunked: “fate”

eHarmony

Fate: a controversial topic we just couldn’t resist! Whether you believe in it or not, fate is something everyone has an opinion on. Now, we can’t prove whether fate exists or not – if we could we’d be millionaires. Or something. But what we can say is that we don’t really like the concept of fate when it comes to dating.

Ready to throw your laptop out the window in anger? Hang on a minute and hear us out. Here are our three reasons why fate and dating just don’t mix:

1.       Fate makes you lazy

OK, not necessarily ‘you’ personally, but fate can make people lazy. Why? Well, it gives them a great excuse not to do things. For example, “If I’m going to meet someone, it’ll be fate, so I’ll just stay here on my sofa waiting for them to come calling.” For the lucky one in a million, sitting at home waiting for the person of their dreams to walk through their door might work. But, for everyone else, you’ve got to get out there and grab life with both hands.

2.       Fate makes you over think

“Maybe it was fate we both turned up at the date at the same time?!” “Maybe it was fate we discovered we’d both been to the same gig in 2003?!” These kinds of thoughts can lead to some serious over thinking when dating or starting a new relationship. And frankly, the last thing anyone needs is something else to think about when it comes to dating.

3.       Fate makes you make bad choices

Imagine you meet someone you really want to date, and for whatever reason you decide that it’s ‘fate’. Maybe you were thinking about a man in a red hat, and there he was wearing said hat. Or perhaps you were looking for a specific album and found it in a record shop, only to have an attractive woman reach for it at the same time. Well, OK, that might all seem like glorious fate. But you’re bypassing the important questions like, ‘Do we want the same things out of life?’ and ‘Are we emotionally compatible?’ And then it becomes all too easy to cling onto the idea that it was fate that you met, and ignore whether you should really be together at all.

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