Dating and relationship advice you can really believe in.

Picking someone to spend your life with is a serious decision, and getting it wrong person can impact everyone from yourself and your partner to your kids and extended families. While you can never predict the future, avoiding these fatal flaws will vastly improve your chances of a marital bliss.

1. Marrying too hastily
It may seem romantic but making a decision to marry on impulse is dangerous. Marriage should be a serious decision that takes many aspects into consideration. In fact, some experts recommend that a couple should be together for at least two years to be sure they are making the right choice. It might feel a long time but passion and romance can blind you to the realities of your incompatibilities. Or they might not show themselves in the first year of a relationship. By the second year, however, any serious issues will have emerged.

2. Marrying too young
The proof is in the figures: the divorce rate in the UK is highest for those aged 25 to 29. One of the key reasons that marriages dissolve for young people is that they haven’t fully formed their own identity and learned to be independent before they commit. “If you want to eliminate one of the most prevalent causes of marriage failure, take seriously the need to wait until you have personally developed your identity and life goals,” advises eHarmony founder and relationship author Dr Neil Clark Warren.

3. Being too eager
It’s easy to get swept up in the excitement that the prospect of marriage inspires. And for those that haven’t fully developed their personality or have been badly hurt by a previous relationship, marriage seems to promise security and a sense that their partner will make them whole. But this is a dangerous belief and can lead to disillusionment and bitterness if the promise is not fulfilled. Again, both people need to be independent and emotionally secure before entering into a marriage for it to succeed.

4. Sharing too few experiences
To help be sure your marriage will be healthy you need to get to know your partner in as many different situations as possible. “The more experiences you have together, the better your chances of avoiding hidden surprises,” says Dr Warren. It’s important to learn how both of you react to problems and, more importantly, how you face them together.

5. Marrying to make someone else happy
You may not even realise you are doing it, but marrying someone to please your parents or even your partner is a certain recipe for marital disaster. Analyse your own motives and make sure you’re ready for the commitment before you make it. It’s vital that both people have the same level of passion when they enter into a marriage.

6. Underestimating flaws
Don’t think that good intentions and promises will be enough to solve a major character flaw in your partner. Even if traits like alcohol abuse, food issues, depression or anxiety are not consistently present, they are likely to come up time and time again in your marriage. You need to consider whether you are willing to tolerate these throughout your married life and how they will impact your children. If you know deep down that you are incompatible, end your relationship.

7. Having false expectations
Spending your life with someone through good and bad times is an appealing prospect, but you need to have realistic expectations about what marriage will be like. “The truth is, successful marriages require an incredible amount of hard work,” explains Dr Warren. “To expect anything different is to set your marriage up for trouble.”

Be aware that all relationships have their own unique challenges. You need to manage your expectations as well as your partner’s. Don’t assume that theirs will be the same as yours. If in doubt, ask! Good communication is the cornerstone of a successful, long-term relationship.