Relationship Advice


Long distance relationship advice: 4 warning signs

eHarmony

1.    They won’t pick up the phone
When you’re in a long distance relationship communication is key. Of course, communication is key in any relationship, but when distance separates you picking up the phone or chatting on Skype becomes more important than ever.

But, if your other half just doesn’t seem to be willing to put in the work, then you should be on your guard. Dropping you the odd text before bedtime doesn’t count either – we’re firm believers in regular conversations, preferably over the phone, between people in a long distance relationship. Texts are just too easy to send, and are also far too open to interpretation. An LDR takes work, and if the other person in the relationship can’t be bothered  or doesn’t want to pick up the phone at the end of the day to find out how you are, then maybe they’re just not as invested as you’d hoped.

2.    They won’t compromise
Relationships are all about compromise, and a long distance relationship should be no different. But if your partner won’t visit you one weekend because they have a 5-a-side match, or because they want to have Sunday lunch with their mates then they might need to rethink their priorities.  It’s essential that both parties are willing to put in effort to a long distance relationship, and if that means forgoing other pleasures then that’s the way it has to be. If your partner doesn’t seem willing to put you first, then one or both of you might need to rethink your priorities, or your relationship.

3.    They suddenly change how or when they get in touch
If your other half has suddenly changed how or how often they communicate with you, you should question why. Maybe that early morning call has petered out, or they no longer log online in the evening to have a post-work chat.

Of course, if your partner has a new job, or new commitments that have changed the course of their day then you can expect upheaval, but if there’s no reason for this change in behaviour then you should be prepared to ask why. Is it because they no longer have the time? They can’t be bothered? They don’t feel you appreciate it? Have the conversation, before the situation gets out of hand.

4.    They suddenly become needy
We all have our down days, and in a long distance relationship that can lead to a bit of neediness; maybe the odd text saying you could really do with a hug, or a moany ‘I miss you soooooo much’ phone call. But, if your other half is suddenly displaying this behaviour all the time, consider it a red flag. If they can’t cope without you for even a few days, it suggests their lives are somewhat empty and they’re using you to fill it. Whether they need new job, a hobby or some friends, a situation where one partner is totally dependent and focused on the other person doesn’t work in any relationship, especially a long distance one.

 

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5 thoughts on “Long distance relationship advice: 4 warning signs

  1. O dear, I recognise myself in there. Not good

  2. HI I came out of long distance relationship this year – everything seemed fine and balanced till i moved 250 miles! then he just seemed to carry on as if I was part of the furniture – ie he stopped trying. I tried for 15 months – gave up and moved back home – be very careful – I won’t do it again.

  3. Keep harmony

  4. Oh I’ve just read this article and it reinforces what I already knew but was trying to ignore! Time for some open, honest communications and I suspect the end of the LDR.

  5. I was in an LDR for WAY too long, a year in fact. I found myself dreading seeing his name on my caller ID or seeing him sign into messenger because I knew he’d want to talk for hours. And forget “i love you” he only said it over and over and over so much so it lost it’s meaning. But oh no, that’s not all….he harbored a lot of resentment towards me over making certain choices and would tell me it was all ok and everything was fine and he wasn’t mad at all, then when we got into heated discussions he’d bring those things up and blast me for them. It got to the point where I lost all motivation to even work, so of course that hurt me financially and I wasn’t able to make it down to see him as often as he’d like, and he was always broke, it was just a huge mess. I felt like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders ALL the time. I couldnt even go to a movie with out seeing a text from him after something to the effect of “online it said the movie is 90 mins what have u been up to? are u home?” OMFG!!!! SO glad that is all behind me now, it is really the best thing for both of us. Although he did not take the break up well at all…actually the straw that broke the camel’s back was when he started cursing at me over the phone saying I didn’t care about him when I told him I was sick and didn’t want to talk…lol. Yeah I had very interesting emails the next day full of hate, anger, you name it and plenty of insults and curse words. Can you say abusive?? Then he had the audacity to try to tell people that it was ME that was crazy and obsessed lmao because I had called a few times after I learned he was telling lies publicly online about me he made it seem as though I was stalking him…rofl…good times. Learned my lesson, that’s for sure! NO LDRS lol

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