Dating and relationship advice you can really believe in.

Sometimes relationships don’t work out because the people involved simply don’t understand what the other person wants. This is ofent true when it comes to men understanding what women want. There is no magic formula for making someone fall in love with you. Not everyone can be a Greek Adonis or have the body of an athlete but there are some attitudes and behaviour which all men could adopt which women will find irresistible and which will give you the best chance of success when you are dating.

1.      Your attention please

It is a very simple thing and all of us want attention from the person we are dating. Most women are happy to share their man with sports, politics, cars, or other hobbies as long as she feels that there are times when he thinks just about her. Time and attention go hand in hand and most women are very appreciative of time that is given freely and for no particular purpose other than because a man wants to be in her company.

Be thoughtful when you are with her and put away mobile phones or other distractions and focus on her and her needs. If making her happy makes you happy then you are certainly onto a winner. Women rate men very highly when they are willing and able to show their enthusiasm and commitment to the relationship – the more demonstrative you are the better. It may sound old fashioned but cherish her and the time you spend with her – even the most ardent feminist likes to feel that her partner can be relied upon for support in times of need – if you notice when that is, because you are paying attention to how she is feeling, then you will get extra brownie points.

2.      Hear what she is saying

Good communication is vital for the development of any healthy relationship. For a woman it is particularly important because women bond and create intimacy through communication more so than men do. Women generally want to be listened to and to feel as though their partner cares about what they are saying.

Listening is an active rather than a passive activity and you can show you are listening to her through your body language and non-verbal gestures. Men tend to think that they are listening if they can repeat word for word what someone has just said but often when a woman is talking she is trying to communicate more than her words are saying.

Don’t formulate answers while she is speaking or automatically assume she is telling you something because she wants you to help or fix things for her. For example, if a woman was relating a story about a difficult situation at work, many men would automatically suggest a solution like ‘You should leave.’ This can leave the woman feeling frustrated because she isn’t necessarily looking for a solution, she is sharing to feel close to you. If, however, you say something like ‘That must be really difficult for you, what are you going to do?’ or tell her how you coped with a similar situation she will feel validated, supported and more connected to you because you understand her. Follow up on situations, asking how things worked out a few days or weeks later; remember the names of people who are important to her and she will soon begin to see that you are someone very special.

3.      Tell her how she makes you feel

Women’s most common complaint about men is that they don’t share how they feel about things, especially about the relationship. There is little more attractive than feeling that you are attractive to someone else. Don’t be shy about telling your partner how attractive you find her. Be specific about what it is that you value and appreciate, not just in her physical attributes but also in her manner, temperament and how she makes you feel. If it is appropriate tell her she is sexy and desirable and how much you enjoy being with her. Don’t do any of this with the expectation of a result but because you are moved to do so.

There is a fine line between being an adoring puppy and being a feeling, passionate man who she will come to love and respect. Whatever else you do make sure, above and beyond all else, that you are emotionally available, open and honest with her – that is irresistible.