Dating and relationship advice you can really believe in.

As much as we all try to keep an open mind when dating, sometimes those little judgmental thoughts creep in: ‘Why is he dressed like that?’ or ‘Why does she keep mentioning her cat?’. And these thoughts often prevent us from making it to that second date, even if the other person was great in every other way.

But – and we don’t mean to sound harsh here – have you considered that if you haven’t had a relationship that lasted longer than a month in recent history, that the problem could be you, and not the opposite sex? Scary thought, we know, but instead of worrying, check out our five ways to keep an open mind while looking for love.

1.    Be yourself
On a date it’s tempting to project an image of yourself that you think the other person wants to see, rather than simply being yourself. But ultimately, this is counter-productive. By being honest about who you are from the start, you will stand a much better chance of finding love with who is interested in the real you. And therefore, someone who is interested in a relationship with the real you.

2.    Be positive
Try not to focus on the little things that niggle you about someone, such as the fact that you don’t think they call you enough. Instead try and be tolerant – by reacting to these personality facets that you see in your dates, you will end up with a negative mindset. By letting go, you will be able to open your mind to new dating opportunities. Work out why you react to certain behaviours (maybe they occurred in a past relationship that ended badly) and then release yourself from them. Look to the future, not the past to find love.

3.    Have respect
We talk about this a lot on eHarmony Advice, but it really is so important that you feel good about yourself before you start dating. If you don’t, then why should anyone else? So, make sure you have respect for yourself, and for other people. By doing this, you will inspire the same feelings in other people – and if they don’t you’ll be able to see this straight away and give them the elbow.

4.    Don’t pigeonhole
Everybody thinks they have a ‘type’, but if you look at your past relationships you’ll probably find they have as much to separate them as they have in common. Who knows what your Mr/Miss Right is going to look like? Try to ensure you keep an open mind, and if you meet someone you connect with, don’t dismiss them on the basis that they aren’t your ‘type’. You never know where this open mindset might lead you.

5.    Be realistic
If only finding love was as simple as it seems to be in some books and films. Unfortunately, in the real world you have to be a bit more realistic with your expectations. Forget about WHEN or HOW you think you’ll meet The One and simply work on finding them. It’s a journey, and one which will lead you to meet lots of wonderful people – but only if you have an open mind. Good luck!