23 December 2009
How to be your most attractive self in 2010
by eHarmony
Warning - this isn't a guide to having nice hair, or getting a great body. This is about how you can feel your most attractive self, from the inside, this year.
There’s no denying that everyone wants to be considered attractive, especially when they’re looking for someone to share their lives with. In our minds, attractiveness leads to more opportunities and so a greater likelihood of dating success. It’s not a fixed entity though, as there are ways to enhance your own attractiveness. Here are five ways for you to work toward attracting that special person into your life by being your more attractive self.
Beauty is only part of the equation
Every day we are inundated with images of what magazines and television perceives beauty to be. We all, men and women alike, have developed a false idea of what physical beauty is – and as a result most of us, apart from the supremely confident, end up feeling we don’t live up to this image.
If you were hoping this would be an article on how to get celebrity hair, or a beach body, you’ll be disappointed. This is about the bigger picture of how you feel about yourself and your attitude towards other people. If you’re not convinced, think about the ‘average’ looking person you know who seems to inexplicably always attract the opposite sex. They have this inner attractiveness.
Here are five ways for you to work toward attracting that special person into your life by being your most attractive self:
Be confident
It’s safe to say that we would all prefer to be around someone who is comfortable in their own skin, rather than someone who is constantly berating themselves. You should work out what makes you feel confident, what you can offer the world, and what you can offer a partner. When you’ve got this sorted, you’ll radiate confidence and become that person people want to spend time with.
Be passionate
There’s something about talking to someone who really loves their job, or their hobby, that makes them instantly more attractive. If, when someone asks you about your job or your hobbies, you can’t muster any enthusiasm, think about making a change. Take up something you’ve been meaning to do for a while; by doing things that make you feel yourself, you’ll rekindle that excitement within yourself.
Be expressive
It can be a genuine joy to talk to a good conversationalist, as they make you feel interested and interesting. If you know you’re not a born conversationalist, make an effort to improve your communication skills and practise them each time you talk to someone.
Be interested
By expressing an interest in someone you are talking to you will gain a positive reaction from them. This is a very powerful, and often neglected, trait. Next time you’re chatting to a member of the opposite sex, try this and gauge their reaction – we predict you’ll be pleasantly surprised.
Be optimistic
Positivity tends to breed positivity, and the opposite is true for negativity. If you see yourself as a glass half empty type of person, consider altering your approach to life. The fact is, few people like to be around someone who is always pessimistic, so be honest with yourself about how you appear to other people.
1
Diane Corriette
31 December 2009 16:16
There is nothing more beautiful than someone who loves who they are from the inside – it shines through and is naturally attractive.
That is what I love about eharmony – your focus on more than just good looks and what a person has!
2
steve
1 January 2010 11:46
The last point is hilarious. “Magically transform yourself into an optimist and get chicks!”
The other points are good because they provide a hint as to how to effect the change, e.g. “think about what makes you confident”. But “change your outlook” is not a helpfult thing to say to a glass-half-empty person
3
adam
2 January 2010 00:14
Sorry, But all of the se things are obvious. If it were easy and natural for every one to exude confidence then there would not be a problem and this sight would not exist. The same goes for being passionate. Surpose you meet the girl or guy of your dreams but you are finding it really hard to get your head round what they are talking about or what they do, or surpose your cat has just died that morning so youare feeling like the world has just ended.
Evey thing writen above seems REALLY obvious to me and if it were as simple as flicking a switch then we’d all be doing it and every body would be in a happy fulfilling relationship. C’mon eHarmony, try a bit harder next time and don’t get our hopes up with drible like this!
4
Roz
10 January 2010 10:22
Let’s face it there is no magic formula to finding the right person.I try to be the best person I can but I don’t beat anyone up when it goes wrong. The way I look at it is you can make some great friends.
Even if my night in shining armour never whisks me off. I would have had the best life possible! and not wasted a minuet. Ever optomistic……
5
Effie Mc Glumpher
12 January 2010 00:01
Like your comment Roz about how at least you can make some new friends. This is the first time I’ve ever tried online dating and I’m enjoying the experience, though I did find it a bit daunting at first. At least I’m open to new ideas and will try my best to be the forever optimist. Good luck in your search……..
6
Danny
14 January 2010 15:44
To be honest I feel kind of uneasy about some of this article. One thing I cannot abide is over-confidence, this is often misplaced. I’d rather be aware of my own limitations than be deluded by some sense of self-importance. And obviously I’m passionate about the people and things I love; when this doesn’t come across I think it’s more of a reflection of my interaction with that person than how I actually feel about myself. The same conversation between different individuals would be different (obviously). I’m sure there are pessimistic, socially awkward folk out there (actually, I know there are) and they deserve the opportunity for happiness as much as anyone else. Overcoming shyness is paramount, and I was uncomfortable with this articles hey-just-change-yourself approach. When people connect they just do, both of them! If you want to be loved for who you are then be yourself. Don’t change unless you want to. Good luck to all who read this.
7
Helen B
17 February 2010 23:46
………..it would be nice to be with someone who doesn’t berate you 6 months in for being the bubbly, friendly, organised person they originally loved you for in the first place. Wish they came with ‘genuine’ stamped on their forehead..!!!
8
Tony Pragmatic
18 February 2010 01:02
For what difference it’s gonna make….
Remember this is an American company (site)expanding in the UK using a tried and tested (US) formula (see TV ad). All the advice centres on selling yourself. In my humble opinion, sales people are born not manufactured. I’d wager the vast majority of people using this sort of site are NOT natural salespeople. However you can train people,(to sell themselves) but they wont appear natural unless they get loads of practice. I agree with Danny, ‘au natural’ please. Beware someone could appear too good to be REAL. As THE WHO said, “I wont get fooled again”. Happy hunting.
9
Tom
3 March 2010 23:32
Hey! Be passionate! Be yourself! Change yourself so you can sell yourself! Your inner beauty is going to shine out like a beacon! Follow this detailed list of dos and don’ts to help you be exactly your natural self.
Dating sites are the internet self-help book. Keep telling people how it’s going to be great, but the business depends on continual failure.
10
Tony Pragmatic
24 March 2010 02:00
That’s a bit harsh Tom or am I mis-reading you. Yes these sites do have successes albeit rare I’d wager. My ‘match up@ in in its early stages and who knows were it’s going ? And as for ‘continual failure’ there’s a ready made production line of “fish to be shot in a barrel” without this idea going wrong. It’s called marriage or at least one in three and rising ! Can’t remember who said it but, ‘A cynic knows the price of everything and the value of nothing’
If you don’t think it’s gonna work for you why bother ?
11
Sharon
20 August 2010 18:39
Come on guys, if you was selling your car would you really just put x year old car for sale one careful owner. No you would list all the plus points you would write about what a great car it is, how well looked after it’s been. It’s mileage, and condition etc. So selling yourself is no different, list your good points let us girls know what you like to do, but please don’t put sports, explain. Do you just watch or do/did you part take. The question in the profile are hard to answer I know, but give it some thought you can always go back and add to them, and you should go back and edit your profile. The amount I’ve seen were they just put don’t know or question mark. There are sample answers look at them. See what your matches have put is that relevent to you, if it is then use some of it. Your profile is all you’ve got if it’s not showing you in a good light then you are not going to get a responses. No-ones going to bother if you look boaring.
12
rose
29 January 2011 00:37
its sure good to look nice,attractive and beautiful but this is not permanent
inner beauty is and radiates outwards the genuity no one can change,will speak for itself.be youself.confidence let your light shine it will be obvious and noticable for those who have eyes for beauty wear a nice mile all the time.
13
Purry
13 February 2011 13:14
Right on Danny!!
14
Angie
11 September 2011 15:25
There’s an awful lot of bad spelling going on here!