eHarmony Advice

Oops I did the first one … but i get a much better response now I’ve taken a new picture!

Double oops, originally the only photo of me close-up on my own was a late, after the hen party haze. After Reading this page I have taken one on my Iphone, hope it doesn’t fall into same category.

As much as guys (sorry Ross) like to think that girls are not concerned by what a guy looks like, they do care and don’t want to be surprised when they show up for a date either.

Not putting up a photo at all is worse than all those advice points listed above. You have taken all the time to write up a profile (and we all know how long it took!) and then you can’t be bothered to post a photo. That to me says that you are even less committed than those that post terrible photos of themselves.

good article , but I can add a couple
which I found a real turn and are so obviuos. Guys of 50 wearing baseball cap, one asks does he have any hair or is he completely bald, does he think he is still a teenager.
Also guys with there adoring children , very nice to show later that I am a caring Dad, but who are you trying to attract, a Mummy or are they saying look I am a package ?

Two more common mistakes with uploaded photos:

1 Where the person is so tiny that you can not see her/him.

2 Where there are several people in the picture and the viewer can not tell which of them is you.

I have to disagree with Chris’s comment and agree with Alex’s with regard to photos of men or women with their children in them. You seem very clear on what you want (not a replacment Mum) but you should try and understand how things may appar to women you are matched with. Whilst many people are open to meeting partners who have children, I think putting them in a photo too strongly focuses on this aspect of who you are. We are making an initial judgment on the adult match here, not their children. There are ways to demonstrate how important children are in someone’s life other than placing them in a photo. Often the written profile does this. A recent nice profile photo of a guy was of him on his own, but in his additional photos, there were photos with his children. I think this is a better balance. Definitely worse is a) no photo at all b) photos that were taken a long time ago and c) men with behind the wheel of a ridiculously expensive car/motorbike!

One Other Deadly Sin

You might want to show that you have your own friends or your best photos might be the ones with you and your friends on them. Before you use one of these photos, STOP, it just creates confusion or problems down the road.

Firstly, if there are multiple people how does the match work out which one is you? They certainly will not think you got too many brain cells and will usually move on. Alternatively, they may think your one of the other people on the photo and at best be disappointed and at worst ask you for the phone number of the person they really fancy!

Unless you want to invite all your friends on your first date, just use a photo of you.

Hi

I uploaded a photo when i set up my profile and it seemed to go through ok. Then I logged in today to be told my photo has been rejected and i need to load another one – but no feedback as to why it had been rejected.

I had something similar with another dating website whereby they rejected all my photo’s one by one until, after the 5th one, i decided to withdraw my subscription as i felt i would never manage to find one they found suitable.

Can i get some feedback on what may have been wrong with my piccie? It was a face shot, jus me, no glasses, or hat, and a picture of me that i’ve had plenty of compliments about from friends, hence my desire to use it.

Thanks

Why dont eharmony make it a requirement to post a photo as lets be honest looks are important, they are not the most important thing but you have to feel an attraction to someone.

Hello eharmony

I have completed my personality profile and have received no matches. I have checked my photo and that is fine. You say to broaden my options but I am attracted to black men and are you telling me that in the whole of England that there is not one black man that is compatible. I feel disapointed. Please respond.

Hi I’m actually one of the biggest sinners as I do not currently have a profile picture and this is through choice!

It’s not because I’m concerned about my image, I’m actually pretty comfortable with it, my concern however is more with who will actually see it. I currently hold a post within the frontline public services and am concerned with members of the general public potentially recognising me from this site leading to awkward situations and professional compromise.

I do not see the lack of photo as a problem as after all we are all mostly looking for something far deeper than just physical attraction and lust! If we communicate and get along I’ll happily send a photo.

Just wondered what others think about this?

I don’t like having my photo posted on the site and have recently removed it for fear of it being seen by someone I know professionally-especially as your real first name is posted next to it.Why isn’t there a feature that enables you to release it to specific people only especially as this can be done with your personality profile?

It would also be helpful to know who is a subscribed member.

Although I have posted a photo of myself I too am worried that someone will see it and undermine me in my profesional capacity. However I justify it by asking myself what are they doing on this site as well.

I’m assuming you have to be a member to view pics?

I have to say that the pics most likely to put me off are the semi-naked men usually lying on a bed. They just look sad and desperate or worse just looking for sexual conquests. Also, I agree with Annette I like to see a pic of a man close up so I can see his eyes and expression.

Hi,
The photo’s that really put me off are the ones of men cuudling a child on their lap. I think they must think it makes them look like family people. NO, no, it doesn’t! I’m sorry – but it makes you look at best, creepy; at worst, like a paedophile. I hate to see children being used as ‘accessories’ in this way. Please guys, stand away from the kids. Thank you!

I am also in the front line public services, but have never had a problem with the picture, providing not shown in work clobber who cares , I have spotted people I work with and they have spotted me , big deal, the chances of a member of the public recognising me are slim. Most single people have tried one or more sites and perfectly acceptable now days.
I also agree with the comments about out of date pictures , what is the point , I also avoid gals who post glamour shots or B&W pics and it is helpful to see a full length shot amongst the pics.
The most amusing picture I saw was a gal posing with her Alsation , both had equal share of the photo, I couldn’t resist asking which one she was.
I don’t see the point of people posting pics with their arms round their ex partners or amongst a group of friends, firstly did they ask to be put on a dating website as well and often difficult to spot which one is the actually match. Re posing with kids again don’t see the point , just mention it in your profile and why stick your kids picture on a dating website?

It would be helpful if EH allowed members only to get matches with a picture as my view is I have made the effort, so should you , what are they hiding??, if no picture I just close the match

I never post a photo. I once had nasty experience with some creep a few years ago on another site which wasn’t as monitored as this one. And agree with the comment In fact it put me off all sites for a couple of years. If someone likes my profile ask for a photo and I will send one. If you are registered and a member AND a phycho at least someone can trace you. Why can’t people just be decent. I have been really happy with my matches even if it hasn’t gone anywhere yet.

Hello everyone, it is interesting that i appear to be told by sites to do two things:
1) increase my age range from the 32 – 38 i have currently set (I am 43)
2) Increase the distance in which i am searching from the current 20 miles.

My doubled edged sword is that the age range is set as I would like to have a family of my own so reality dictates that we would have to be together at least 2 years so any older is getting tricky and any younger woulkd make me feel like a dirty old man.
Distance is also a bug bear as further than 20 miles and it would drastically reduce the time we could be together.

Is it really too much to ask to find a lady who is in her 30’s who wants a serious relationship with at least the potential of having children within 20 miles which encapsulates over 2 million people?

I am mystified by all these guys who are so nervous about being recognised. Their photos would only be seen by members of the site anyway and it would be unlikely for their male colleagues to see the photos (unless they were looking for other men!) I have never had any negative reactions when I tell people I have met someone on the internet. Don’t forget how many millions of single/divorced/widowed people there are. How else can they get together these days? Gone are the days of Pride & Prejudice! I also consider photos to be essential part of a profile.

Oh and why is it that dating sites use pictures of really slim/attractive people in ALL the ads , do you really think in the main you are likely to meet people like that ? I think it just raises false expectations to some before they even start.

Agree with many blogs,why do we have to go into communication mode b4 we see that the there are no pics.You would not drive a car with a blindfold on and dating is no different.Come on girls get your cameras out.

Hi
My opinion on photos.

This is a dating site and not a blind date site.
Post a photo and you will get many, many more responses.
This is just human nature.

Good luck to all.
Nicholas

Personally, seeing pictures of children on the net deeply worries me. There is NO WAY I would post a photo of me with my children – at any age! Thankfully they have “flown the nest” and are adults, but putting a picture of you and your children out even in a “closed” structure like this is WRONG. Pictures are copied, and the next thing you know is you have a stalker after your children! THINK PEOPLE! IT’s a HORRIBLE world we live in, so PROTECT your children, until the time has come for them to meet face to face the one person you think is right for you.

I agree with Judi , as someone who has done that line of work and without being dramatic, plenty who trawl the web capturing images of kids and doing their weirdness and re-posting to their mates, why give them images of your kids to mess about with!!
The only people that should have images of your kids are your friends/family and people you can trust.
I also know of someone who introduced their kids at a very early stage , then dumped the guy only to find out that he was contacting the kids via their facebook site to try and get them to persuade mum to see him again

I live in a small community and recently had the experience of my photo and dating profile from another site being copied and circulated round my workplace ‘for a laugh’. I am in a senior position and it deeply undermined me and my confidence. It does happen – and people do trawl the Internet because they are bored.

I think it would be quite nice if, in addition to uploading a profile pic or two, you could upload a couple of pics of things that make you ‘tick’. No – I don’t mean readers’ wives pics I mean, what about a visual representation of the things that are too good for words but which mean a lot to you? I have some I wish I could upload, but alas Eharmony only want your mugshot and nothing else. I’d like to see people’s artwork on here if they’re into art, or a photo of a poem transcript…that would be really cool.

David… I agree and that’s why we are heading for a society full of lonely spinsters with no children, it’s about compromise, chaps, the ones I know, seem to have more reasonable expectations and are willing to date a girl that may not be the perfect ten, warts and all , a lot of women I have met turn their noses up coz waiting for their ideal man to walk through the door or post his profile.

Ju…mmm I think most of us are trying to get a visual of the person, if we start dating and they want to show me their artwork or etchings fine , I really couldn’t be bothered looking through loads of pictures of vases and it may work against them if they think their watercolour is great but looks like it has been drawn by a blindfolded 4yr old , if they mention they are an artist nothing stopping you asking for some pictures to be sent to an email address when in open communication or if they are a musician could get them to blow their horn down your landline

No amature art work pics please, the fact is pics of other people hols, kids, art work are incredibly boring to the rest of us.

Why is it that Caribbean and Africans are one ethnicity? For the purpose of dating it should be separated. We are culturally very different and the separation would make matching much easier

Hi Mike,
I agree with your comment reagrding photo’s got to admit I’m one of the gals who hasnt posted a picce, but I have also met many people and communicated,using a mobile phone photo of my self being that others are a group or at the other end of a camera, its not till after reading all the comments I will endevour to get a photo. I couldnt like your self find it in the least interesting to look at peoples art work or such its much nicer to find out and see in person your partners likes, I wish you luck on the site

mmm if all yours are taken with friends may I suggest photoshop or similar and some cropping or if scanning into a computer a pair of scissors. Communication is great but lets be honest all of us want to know if the guy/gal we are communicating with has more Chins than the Chinese phonebook , or if the gal has three bellies and a tash

Re the questions yes some are a bit bizarre, but I think it’s the open questions ( stage 3) that usually the deal breaker, for me it’s when I ask about one thing they wished they had handled differently and all the bile about the ex comes pouring out …..next , move on ….

I have decided to maximise my chances and have splashed out on a introduction agency that does social events as well, so now three ways to meet someone, maximise ones chances I say

I’ve just tried uploading a second photo and making it my primary one, when it didn’t show up on my profile and only showed the first one, I tried deleting the first photo and re uploading it. Now it says I have no photos uploaded at all, but when I look in my “about me” section they are both there.
E Harmony, you’re not making this very easy!

hahahaha i must say this is funny, i’m enjoying reading all these comments, my account is expiring next month…. i think i might renew it, more comments gys plz….lol this is funny..

Ps

Samantha
If you don’t go for stunningly gorgeous men, have got to ask do you live anywhere near Hertfordshire in the UK

Me… Own teeth, house trained , well sprung

Louise

Yes you can learn a lot from a profile , someone who posts a minimal profile and no photograph tells me they are not really bothered or are doing it half heatedly , a bit like job CV’s if the applicant can’t be bothered to spend some time and effort doing it, I can’t be bothered to read it or in the case of EH guess which of the people in the photograph is them

EH is a market place , one has to present oneself in the best light ie a reasonable amount of info and a nice piccy , otherwise you will be left on the shelf and closed
( apologies for three emails)

Fiona

So basically you are not willing to play the game by the rules but expect guys to choose you over the 10 or so other matches with a picture.
Most who use these sites know the pack drill and all sites point out (in not so many words) that you are wasting your time/money if no picture

Plenty of other options available to you

Good Luck

Louise

This is just something to do whilst waiting for all those messages (Not)

I thought that was the idea of these forums to post opinions.
It is a market place for both you girls and us guys , not a meet market like some of the singles events I have been to, but a market just the same with each of us trying to sell ourselves , so the packaging and advertising important, you wouldn’t buy a can of beans without a label.

Its like when you go and buy a car you don’t want one with ripped upholstery or like me one with a blowy exhaust and a few dents.

And yes I do have a lady as top of my shopping list , always looking for special offers not past their sell by date , would also be handy to get a “Buy One, Get One Free”

The term African/Caribbean really only describes those people who are African or part African by race, whether they are from Africa or the Caribbean. The term does not really cover any of the other Caribbean races-of which there are many e.g Caribbean/ Indian, Caribbean/Chinese etc. That’s where a photo is helpful.

In 4 months I haven’t had a single response from anyone I’d sent an icebreaker to. I’m pretty sure I’m not that ugly

Clinton

I wouldn’t worry mate , this is normal happens to me and two male friends who are using the site, many of the people you are sending the opening questions to are probably not full members so haven’t paid and can’t reply. Quite a few people I message are not on there when I click again ( this person is not a member message) so just time wasters.

I would say out of 10 messages I send I get maybe one response , also taking a look at how many people have viewed you gives you an idea of the likelyhood of getting any responses, I might get two views a day, my profile is pretty average. I think if you are serious in meeting someone you have to join a proper agency, this is just something to dabble with in addition , may work for a few.

The biggest sin is having no photo at all. In the last 25 matches sent to me only 2 had photos !

Hi all,

This forum is hilarious, thanks for making me smile.

Just proves to show that we all are human.;)

Ooh I’m glad I found this I was beginning to think I’d done everything wrong! I’ve changed my settings several times, requested photo’s only had one put one up, (I’d say 8 out 10 don’t have one that I’m matched with) call me shallow but agree with the comments made above it’s not a blind dating site.
I think it’s a bit arrogant for people to not put a picture up because of their job, put a blank on the main one then some pics as second or third,then snoopers won’t spot it, besides it’s not the easiest site to go searching for random people on.

I’m overall quite disappointed with the whole experience, I think for the money it’s not doing a great job, and if those are my matches then there’s obviously something glaringly wrong with my personality which strangely is not something people seem to have a problem with in general on a daily basis.

Sorry for whining but I’m a bit cross about it.

The other thing girls and I hope I am not being rude but honest is that there are about I would say ( from articles I have read) 3:1 ration of women to men, if you are very overweight,stick like 5′0 or 6′02 then again you sadly may not be picked as loads of Mz averages on the site to choose from
I’m a overweight, mid life crises, three chin, wobbly gut ( monks hairstyle) baldy and realise 8/10 women won’t be interested no matter how good my profile, under no illusion and I am realistic , you can’t fight above your weight and expect to win.

The Other Mike

You are correct and that is the difference btwn EH and DD or Match
you will only get matches if your criteria fits, if you are too narrow with your wants you will not match anyone and no one will match you. The idea is that computer saves wasting time if you are say a 55 yr old male peppering with messages loads of 35 yr old women who’s upper limit is say 45.
This site is loads better than Parsnip where the chances of matching was almost nil
But one has to do two things firstly seeing if you are matching with anyone at all , by seeing how many have viewed you , if no one obviously your criteria too strict and secondly be honest and true to oneself and unless drop dead gorgeous or a hunk compromise, give someone a go that doesn’t tick every single box , their other attributes may compensate for their height or extra few pounds, if you reject every potential match you may find yourself on here a long long time

Hi everyone….seems there is more communication on here than through the matches sent to one’s profile!!!

The site will not let me upload a picture. It is under the 5mb size limit and I have also tried to email a copy of it to your email address but still with no luck. Is this because i have not subcribed as yet??? Please help!!

Hahaha. Even if anything could be done about it I’m happy with my height. It’s everyone else who are the freaks

I started my application for EH four days ago…I thought it was never going to finish! But I got there and EH sent me some matches. I read about 7 profiles today, I couldn’t view the photo’s as I hadn’t subscribed. After deleberating over the many payment options I was finally able to view the photo’s. I was dreading what my matches looked like…some of you will get what I mean there…but I was surprised, most were someone I would wink at on the train (well in my head anyway…). Two of my first lot of matches have viewed my profile and requested a photo, so I have followed everyones hints….main one is head and shoulders of me complete with my usual grin and selected a body shot second….So, EH hurry up and approve my photos so I can tell everyone how my 3rd day on here goes…or I am sure Mike will have something to say
p.s. to everyone on here, you all seem lovely people so I don’t know why there aren’t more love stories on here!

Twee,

Yes, they’re matches. Yes, they’re pretty. I’m yet to get a match who isn’t. And there are lots of them – think I’ve had about 240 matches since I joined in September.

However, as Mike just said, most women tend to just dabble and move on so don’t hold your breath for any sort of communication or reply

It’s Parship ( suppose short for Partnership) a right load of pants

As I have said if you just use these on line sites and do nowt else likely to be disappointed….Just looked and up to over 900 closed ladies most had no pictures or didn’t reply.

You get No response for one of the following reasons

1) They have viewed you (check to see) and don’t like your profile
2) They haven’t a picture they can send
3) They haven’t logged on for ages
4) They haven’t subscribed but just
had a play

3) or 4) The most likely

Take my advice don’t waste your time requesting , why should you
NO PHOTO = CLOSE

I agree with Karl: I would prefer to send my photo to someone once we are aleady getting on well mind-to-mind, and see if there is any physical attraction at that point; afterall, we are here on eHarmony to find love/stability, not a passing fling!

I guess I’m the same as a lot of you, I get a lot of matches but hardly any communication no mate how much I try. I’m only 29 and it’s impossible to meet genuine women in real life so internet dating is the only way for me and they all seem so judgemental online as well as offline sometimes I think there’s no hope!

Just realised I commited a cardinal sin with a spelling error in the previous comment 114, tickle shoud read trickle. Can’t say I was tickled pink when I saw that!

Here’s another tip for photos – sunglasses may look cool but we need to see your faces guys – “eyes are the windows of the soul” after all!

Thanks CLinton, I am wondering whether to cancel my subscription…I uploaded two photos of me and felt my paranoia increse as I watched match after match close communication…. Its not a good way to make you feel good….! I don’t want to be one of those girls who gets professionally made up for a photo etc but it seems some of my matches are somewhat shallow..? All the decent men seem to be on this thread!

ps I am 5ft 7 too

Twee

Don’t give up hope mate , not all of us that shallow but as I have said the chaps have a lot of choice and sadly the first bite is with the eye, I have been closed by loads of women not despondent I just wait for the next matches.

Have to say I think eharmony should consider letting people communicate through forums as well as via the matches. This is a good way to interact and chat with people

Of late the matches I have had with no pics also come with extremely little completed on the profile too. Hardly aspiring matches which are now automatically closed.

I just now have to get past guys who dont set the distance preferences and then close the match because the physical distance is too great. *sigh*

Twee

I think most of my posts would discourage people from joining EH

Clinton

Why didn’t you suggest when she wore heels so would you !
To be honest re the kids , one kid or two kids , you either want someone else’s or you don’t , I have found ( having been out with someone with three) that two easier than one as they can entertain each other and if one of the siblings is say 16 he/she can babysit whilst you go out for an evening

Hello I have made a mistake on my age I am 35 yrs old not 45, I have tried to correct this but cant.

Please can you correct this for me.

This will explain while all the matches have been 10 or 15 years older than me

What is going on? How come I’ve been sent matches that I view, I might respond with an icebreaker, I might even ask for a picture, then I get nothing. They haven’t even viewed me!! Surely I can’t be so bad that they run a mile before they’ve even viewed me!!

Hi there, I’ve trawled through the comments but haven’t come across the photo sin that bugs me- why do men think ‘I don’t have a photo so I’ll take three’ and put them all on? Same clothes, setting, stance, etc…or maybe shake it up a little and take one turned sideways on… The goes for several shots of the same day out.Was that the only time you’ve been out?
Take your pics. Decide on one. Post it. One day out- max 2 shots and they have to be different views!
And if it’s obvious that you held the camera to take the photo, it sends the message “I have no friends” or “no friends that I’m telling I’m internet dating.” Neither bodes well for an intimate relationship!

I’m with Clinton. The only people who have communicated with me are you guys!
I don’t even have any matches right now and I’ve been a paying member for just 2 weeks! Oh dear.

I am one of those who signed up for the “free weekend” and am wondering re if it is worth joining. I actually have had an icebreaker sent but could not reply but cannot complain re matches as were sent lots and they all seem normal!

Kim
****

Two possibilities , you are well fit or your mum is the director of EH

Lyn
****

I think they changed the settings thing so that it will give you your preferred ie within 30miles but if no matches will chuck in longer distances, I have 50 miles and get a few random matches miles away

Bridget
*******

Calm down dear

You peeps bring a smile to my face! This site is a shambles, there is no proper organisation in my opinion. I am also a member of a very good free dating site, it tells you the last time someone logged in, so you can judge if they are an active member. EH, we really don’t pay you to waste our time with sending matches who realistically aren’t ever going to be real matches! I think I’ve been on this site a week and like everyone else, this is the most communication I have participated in! I agree there should be a forum. Its nice to get support as personally I find this site is suashing my hopes…and I am paying for it???
Hi Sarah, I had mail from a guy today saying the exact same thing about his membership running out..! I am glad you said how you feel, I felt the same!
Clinton, I live in London and have no children, how old are you and what are your hobbies?! hee hee

I agree that it would be nice to know when someone was last logged on … you might be ‘talking’ to someone who has been inactive for months.

Personally, I am finding a few matches on EH, but quite often I send out communication and receive no response. Getting a ‘close match’ is better than no response. I’ve even started going through my ‘new matches’ and either closing or communicating with each of them. I’d let them build up to over 150(!) and realised it was silly trying to find new matches in amongst all those.

More irritating is getting to stage 2 or 3 and then getting no reply. EH should prompt you regularly to say “you have outstanding messages to reply to” … it’s not nice to leave people hanging (was that a semi-rant?)

Hey Mike (The original one – haha this is getting confusing)
I think we cold do a better job on here for free! I am 31, would love kids and my hobbies are surfing, dancing, swimming, writing songs, walking my dog, music, reading, reiki, computer games and laughing lots….! I am slim, 5ft 7, blue eyes and have dark brown hair (currently). However, I can’t put my name next to the word sane. I am a bit nuts….;)

MikeyD
I don’t think much of a secret just don’t open the matches I get on average 7 a day sometimes 10 , you just leave them for two weeks ( ie when you go on holiday or on remand) and on return Roberts your dads brother

Twee
You are probably a bit young for me I’m burning 47 candles in two weeks.

Haha @ Mike. The one guy in my fencing club is about early to mid 40’s and he only dates girls between the ages of 20 and 24. I think it’s a little creepy to be honest.

Twee: I’m 32 but I can’t dance, although I’m keen to try one of those salsa classes that seem so popular. And since I do jump around stabbing at people with bits of metal I think I might be ok at it. I can’t swim either. Nature saw humans making bricks and said said “I’ll have that”. I can’t even float lol. And you like computer games? Awesome. Glad to see someone who enjoys reading. I’m amazed at how many of my “matches” actually say they don’t read.

Nope. He says it’s the motorbike and the guitar. And maybe “date” was the wrong word used. It’s literally just a case of going out, finding a girl, taking her home, “dating” for a few days (a few weeks if she’s lucky) and then telling her to hit the road. It’s all about numbers.

Have just realised that I come to check this little forum before I even bother with my new matches.

Hi Everyone,

I have just joined today and I’ve enjoyed reading the comments posted. You all seem like nice people and I look forward to using the site

Thanks Twee

Clinton: there’s grammar and there’s grammar. An inability to string two sentences together or make any sense between them is really frustrating to read.
When I widened my ‘intelligence settings’ I didn’t know what I was letting myself in for!

Was it that bad? That’s probably the one setting I haven’t considered fiddling with, although on the whole I expect women to be more intelligent than guys. Every doctor I’ve ever had wherever I’ve moved to was female. And pretty.

Hi Sarah I think it depends on how important it is to you that your future partner is good with grammar…You have to be honest with yourself, if its going to drive you bonkers then maybe you could gently explain how you feel. Maybe he isn’t that hot on paper but maybe he is alight somewhere else Or if it’s the case that he just isn’t on your level intellectually, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to close the match and look for the one that is.

I have honestly found 1 genuine person who has contacted me out of 68 possible matches. I have therefore come to the conclusion that there are very few people on here actually taking it seriously…and I think they are all on this thread! I don’t actually think this site helps the genuine people much. It seems people really do treat it all like a) a game b) a mail order relationship catalogue or c) a fleeting whim

It’s interesting that the only advice about things that turn people off is about photos! How shallow are we?? I personally find very short answers horrible as they thell you nothing about the person – and also badly written/spelled profiles. Especially if the man says he is a professional! I love the ones where the man has obviously taken time to think through what he wants to communicate

Sarah
That should be “mine’s gone on holiday” of course I do have the ‘grammar’ bug and it’s in one of my questions I think. I know sometimes people just rush to type things and it’s a simple keying problem, but I think it would really grate on me in a relationship.
But that’s just me of course.
And my 150 matches was just a lack of tidying on my part. I am back with a tidy Matches tab now(!)

We’ve had snow again here.

I’ve never known it when there has been so many spells of snow in one year. I’m gonna trade in my semi for an igloo.

Does anyone else suffer the phenomena of having lots of views and communication for a week or two, then everyone falls silent? I wonder if I have a bunny-boiler going around scaring people off me in secret! It’s not paranoia if they really are out to get you.

Re The grammar , I have found that often those that can’t string two sentences together are not poorly educated or thick but foreign …..in my case from Eastern Europe looking for a visa or Ting Tong from the Far East……

Sarah . I don’t think you can read too much into what they have clicked to close you , they may just be big headed and don’t like your profile and pretend they have found something better, I have missed clicked on several occasions.

I do wish we had some more options ie
1)Your picture was naff
2)Haven’t a clue what you are banging on about
3)God you are scary
4)Closing you but your mate is well fit is she a member?

Hey Mike Those are awful options lol
But you are right on one thing, it IS their loss, who else could start a happy little black market forum where other like minded folks can share their experiences. Here’s to the weekend peeps!
ps I took loads of time over my profile and now I just feel lke a fooooool! But if I really tried, there must be others out there that did too, right???

Mike (TFONTOO): I agree with the english as she is spoke by foreign nationals, and the visa-hunting people out there (all of mine are N. or W African, for some reason,)but you can pick them out by the sentence construction. The howling grammatical soups I get are English. I think it depends on how much people read. If you’re not a fast reader and have to work out each word anyway, grammar is pointless.
I’d like to have the option to write my own reason for closing. Especially when you’ve been at open communication stage and you’ve been dropped. Writing a final message then would be fun.

I tell people right from the start that I’m foreign but that I already have a visa to be here and stay. Still scares them though. Maybe

ps what is grammatical soup – is it like alphabet spaghetti?

And what’s a smell chucker?

Is that like when you ‘cup a fart’ and chuck it in someone’s face?
ps please don’t try this at home folks

Guys – had a a bad day but this makes up for it. I may be a little sad but, I’m pissing myself laughing here! You lot are he best!!
Still got no matches though (so can’t even torch my own house)

MikeyD: It’s a bit odd that you’re not getting matches – unless you specified some odd criteria and set it as extremely important. I used to get about 7 matches a day; tweaked one setting to non-negotiable and it trickled down to 2.

Sarah: I think they brought in that feature with the “new” eHarmony last month.

Leaky bits? That sounds worrying

I’ve been away for a bit and have just caught up on your lastest comments. You’re all bonkers. Is this what happens to you when you been on EH for a while?
EH if you watching why don’t you send our profiles to each other, then at least we will know who we are speaking to.
Is there any other forum out there that seems to have a sideline going on?

But being bonkers is preferable to being boring old normal

Probably why I’m using this site.

Too eccentric to actually ask anyone out in the normal way. And shy

I’m slightly puzzled as to why I get matched with so many nursery teachers.

Most of my matches have 1 photo or none. The ones who do put more tend to put on pics of themselves on their exotic holiday somewhere in a South American jungle or good old Egypt.

Photos (and looks in general) don’t bother me too much – I even send communications to people who don’t have a photo if their profile seems interesting. Needless to say I still get no response.

Sarah

PMSL …..:-)

I usually either get one photo or possibly up to three, at least one is a holiday snap, quite a few are of the person standing quite away away from the camera.There is also the gals holding a child ( I assume they are the owner & it hasn’t been snatched by them same with assorted pets)

All the photos being head shots is always a bit of a red signal as either they have no body or too much of one

I knew if you hovered over the persons name in ” who has viewed me” you see a picture been doing that for months

More snow here this weekend!

Sarah – you are forgiven (just this once mind).

I find eH is less prone to the hordes(!) of foreign spamming that some sites are. In terms of photographs, I find that most women have either 2 identical shots, or more than 5. Occasionally ‘no photo’ which I almost understand, but at some point you have to be brave …

I hate to write about myself, so have not looked at my profile since first created. I hope it’s okay(!)

I avoid those with almost bare profiles – why is there no content? Odd.

I agree that having a ‘other’; and here’s my reason would be good. I tend to err towards “too far away” or “based upon your profile…” But giving a positive ‘no’ seems fairest.

I’ve have some that close me after I send them questions and they never viewed my profile. Those must be damning questions!

peep.

I relaxed my age spec by a tiny bit and EH starts tossing up 25 year olds. Grrrr.

Clinton – what exactly is the problem with eH offering you 25 yr olds? I’d like an answer involving pictures please

Sarah – I’ve no idea how to ‘nudge’ someone. Although I have been nudged.

I used to think it was better to ignore matches I didn’t like; but now am more positive in rejecting. It is better than the tumbleweed … both ways round.

Our snow has gone, but we have a biting wind. Brrrrrrrrr ……..

No need for pics. Most girls in their 20’s don’t look beyond the next party. Sorry if I’m generalising but there it is.

She likes computer games and kung fu. If Twee likes Japanese anime then she might just be a keeper

Not really

But I suppose it can be a start :p

Could always argue that since they haven’t we might be a horrible match

Hi there everyone. Just reading these comments makes me smile and I feel less alone in the world of singledom. eHarmony please please please develop a chat forum – this is great and I would deffinately subscribe to that. One other thing guys – I once subscribed to a Travel Companions site and a guy from LA actually subscribed in order to be able to email me. How refreshing and we are still in touch to this day.

Was there something wrong with the way I said we? I’m pretty sure I spelled it correctly

When Sarah mentioned it last week, I did wonder how this site judges intelligence. Does it check your grammar maybe? Because I don’t think a person’s level of education would indicate that.

Clinton- I think they do base it on education. Short of giving us all mensa tests I don’t see that they have a sensible way of determining intelligence. But they put cookies in to monitor your responses so hopefully at some point they’ll notice I dump the ones with awful grammar.
I do agree that education level doesn’t signify intelligence, just academic aptitude- that’s why I reduced my parameters.
Shirley- what about me? I thought I’d found a place where I belonged too!
Does anyone know how long eH UK has been going? Is the sea them fishes is in widening or shrinking?

Hey peeps
Just want to say welcome to the new eH sufferers and happy midweek, roll on the weekend…
ps is it just me or does anyone else feel like they need a hug today?

I completely agree with Alex further up who commented on men not posting their photos. It gives me an impression of either cowardice or arrogance. It takes a lot to be honest and set up a profile and to not put a photo is s half hearted. Either that or it suggests that the reader should just take your word for how great you are instead of being vulnerable enough to show yourself and let them decide. If there is no photo, it is an immediate turn off for me!

Joanne
You answered your own question …NO PHOTO

Sarah
I think eH been going in the States for a few years but only heard the ads last year or maybe end of 2008 so not long in the UK , the fish pool is large but quite a few salmon have swum upstream and have left their “dead” profiles behind which keep getting caught in our net during a trawl …( had to think about that one!!)

Sarah: It’s just that I’ve always felt that the value attached to a university degree is a bit disproportionate for what it is. 3 years of generally cocking about interspersed with short periods of cramming for exams. At the end of which you’re saddled with a huge debt to pay off.

And I doubt that the moderators would allow us to undermine their system in such a manner

Lol! Ok, firstly, a hug to Clinton, get well soon
Mike & Sarah – I am somewhat (and goodness I don’t like that word after the three day long question session at the beginning of signing up) wary of giving out contact details on here but don’t think I haven’t thought about it
I am pleased to hear about Mike’s date too, gives me hope, Joanna, gives me hope, Sarah, gives me hope Shirley etc…..sorry I’m a bit tired.

Rain rain rain … *sigh*

I agree that ‘education’ and ‘intelligence’ are different measurements; and now my views and contacts seem to be drying up

I have sent communications (both guided and emails) that have not be replied to, yet I see no ‘nudge’ on any page (either on my ‘communicating’ page or on their profile page.

In terms of viewing profiles, I wonder if it would be possible if you knew their ‘id’ or does eH cleverly filter out that sort of thing. I mean, when I open a ‘match’ it’s the same page with a different (and consistent) value for ’set’ in the query. I wonder if you knew someone’s ’set’ value you could view the profile even if not a ‘match’.

Not sure how you find out what your number is, or whether they are the same for everyone. Is this too much techno-babble?

I’d also expect any email or web addresses posted here to get filtered. eH dont want us going off and forming a break-away league. Like on ning for example. Then communicate freely with whomever you like, anonymously.

Oh Shirley – I’m free next Thursday. How about Brighton or will it be too wet?

Raaaaah Mike (T.O.O.A.)! I think eH could add a forum for members to join additionally once they have subscribed. We could have an adapted ‘forum profile’, which we could manipulate to protect our personal information as necessary. I think it can only increase our chance of meeting that special someone and a lot of likeminded people are quite clearly grateful for this little forum, myself included. It is nice (and very comforting) to see how other (genuine) users are getting on.
I don’t think this would be as rewarding if we were being sent more genuine profiles or at least actual current subscribing ones. I am guessing that in the US, this site is like Match.com with users getting plenty of ‘matches’ to keep them busy with their quest.
I still maintain that it would be great to show on our profile whether we are current subscribers or not and when our last log in date was. All vital tools for internet dating as far as I am concerned. And as I still feel that this site doesn’t have enough serious users at present, and as we are paying for it, we should have better options than at present. Phew, not sure where that all came from!
p.s. Shirley – where did you get a free month membership?
p.p.s. eH, as we cheer so many of your clients up, can we have a free month membership too?

Don’t worry Twee… I don’t plan on stalking you or anything :p

I remember a time when dating sites sort of “guaranteed” their services with a nothing-in-6-months-get-6-months-free thing.

Looks like they don’t filter email addresses out. Slightly surprising. Maybe I could go set up a nice disposable webmail address.

They don’t seem to work though…

Some people’s names (few and far between) are hyperlinked. But the links are all dead.

chocolate.pringles.77@googlemail.com

I really do like those Cadbury Snaps.And all the sensible addresses were already taken

Seems logical. On a previous site I tried I’d get plenty of messages and then as soon as I’ve paid they’ll go back into the woodwork. And then wonder of wonders they’ll reappear when payment is due again.

Yes it is me. But I am obviously a bit of a nutter. I tried being sane and it was rather dull

Brighton next Thursday? Bit of a trek but the weather is certainly no barrier. People living in Manchester have to contend with rain most of the time so why shouldn’t we southern softies. (Msg 225)
Twee: The EH people wooed me with the free month. If I communicated with three people over a weekend I could have the free month. I did my part and they have made good on the offer. I presume they had a need for more women in a certain demographic category. Anyway apart from this chat it doesn’t seem to be leading anywhere. Although a “Nigel” has taken a peak at me today, which has an exciting frisson. Will he get on with responding to my communique in time before my freebie runs out?
I’ve been reading the various EH articles on the site – most have some very good comments tagged on the end.
What time Thurs?

Okay, so Shirley and Sarah are coming on the Brighton trip. Maybe you need to have a name starting with ‘S’ to qualify?! I wonder what ‘Twee’ really stands for?

How about an early start on Thursday? Then we can have a play on the beach with bucket and spade, throw a frisbee around, kick a ball, splash in the water. And still have time for arcade-fun(!) a quick pub lunch, walk in the afternoon, then fish & chips on a bench later whilst watching the waves roll in.

Possibly leave before the evening becomes too crazy though. I hope the wind has dropped by then! Don’t want the “Kiss Me Quick” hat to blow away.

Doesn’t matter if I did not been invited on the trip ((((

Hi Everyone. Got an idea to help Clinton and Twee. Clinton write on here your town, age etc. Twee change your settings to match and hopefully EH will match you.Bingo. Hope it works.
Hope next Thursday goes ok.
Mike, I agree, thought that was just Mike (TOOA) and Shirley, didn’t realise it was a general invite. How come you lot don’t work then. Hope you are all enjoying the weekend.

Hey everyone! Lol I wish I could take Thursday off! A BBQ and chairs etc have permanent residence in the boot of my car for spontenous trips! Thanks to everyone for their ideas on how to get Clinton and I in touch – I am glad we have now swapped emails…I don’t know why we were sent each others profiles…. Hee hee (TOOA), you can look ‘Twee’ up in the dictionary to find out what it stands for hee hee

ps Mike TOOA – did you put in yor own Twitter page into the website box thingy – or just a link to Twitter?

Hi everyone,

Oh dear, having promised myself never to do the internet dating thing again, I caved in to EH as it seemed to provide a real alternative to the “normal” ones. Been on for about 2 weeks, first matches all looked promising – nicely complete profiles, but all the new ones since are barely there – one word answers or just the tick box ones. So I figured maybe because they’ve just signed up and more info will appear soon, sounds like maybe I was too optimistic! The guys I communicated with from the first ones haven’t answered – even to “close” me instantly so I’m guessing aren’t visiting the site anymore. I agree a flag to say how recently they’ve logged in would save a lot of effort and I keep opening some to see if a pic has arrived -glad only the most recent view is shown else they might think I’m a stalker! How do you change settings? When I click on that tab the only option is how strongly I feel about height(I don’t!)

Just to be see-through, transparent and crystal clear. An “away day” was open to all on the forum. I don’t like cliques.
One of the successful elements of Plenty of Fish ( a free but slightly murky dating site) is their local meets. Compatability is great but hampered if you live 200 miles from each other. Rather than having one date per person you meet swathes of people in one go!
My friend met his girlfriend at one of these a year ago and they are still together.
It would be an idea if EH organised county meets at nice stately piles with a couple of activities thrown in to keep people circulating – archery/ clay pigeon…
ah I am getting carried away with fanciful notions – all, Mike, of the non virtual type.

Mike: I’m intrigued by the ladies going to events in threes. Do men traditionally turn up solo and then feel they can’t intrude on a gaggle of gossiping gals?
It made me laugh to think that it is the fellers who are the shrinking violets.
Good luck with the States – did you get the 9 of cups then?

No need to pack Mike… you’re gonna need to buy new clothes after a few months there. I visited there for 6 months a few years ago and my waist went from 30″ to 34″. Hooooly crap. Was fortunately active enough to lose it all again

Shirley- I really am up for a real meet and really do have a real sister in the real Brighton, but I really can’t make this Thurs.

Clinton , I have family in NY so there quite a bit , and yes I did mention that in the pre tarot chat , hence the good lady made her prediction armed with certain knowledge. I’m a 40 waist already and have eaten all the UK pies.
Sarah ….you must be one of the few …The Bells, the Bells

Well… I’m not terribly outgoing because I don’t drink beer or cider and I don’t try and match people drink for drink – I know that my alcohol tolerance isn’t very high. For some reason people find this upsetting.

I find that one glass of wine is enough to make me chatty enough to socialise. No idea why people feel they have drink themselves under the table.

Mike: We’d need to be an actual couple first before gooseberrying becomes possible :p

Nadia: It’s a free service we provide

Clinton- you reckon anyone would pay for this rubbish? Oh yeah… I forgot we are…
Mike- I leave the bells at home when I go out, but you can pull the other one.

Nadia….Apologies for my raunchy photo, I have just been caught by the filters and blimey did that make my eyes water…aaagh.

Dom…..Have you tried the local fire station , I believe throwing people over shoulders part of the training, the only small Indian I would want to match with would be a Korma and Pilau Rice.

The children thing isn’t set right as apparently the question is something like “do you have any children living at home” a NO doesn’t mean they haven’t any children, just haven’t any living with them, which is often the case with male divorcees.
I haven’t I am also over 5′6 and can do a mean Ceroc as well as Agadoo and the Birdy Song …

There are some websites, that if you put in the ‘website’ area then you can’t post! I have set-up a forum on one of those free sites in case these comments get closed. The trick is in letting people know the address!

I was just wondering is everyone on here in the UK??? I would have thought this being a US run site most would be yanks or is this forum just on the UK portal ( if such a thing?)

I reckon it automatically defaults to the local portal when you enter the site, so I think everyone on here is from UK.

I was also just wondering why you youngsters ( 32 somethings) need this site ,when I was that age loads of single peeps amongst my circle of friends and plenty of places for the under 40’s to meet ie bars/clubs , isn’t that the done thing any more? I thought these sites were the preserve for those that have left it too late , who’s friends were all now in relationships or those that have come out of relationships. Maybe 14 is the new 20 something, seems like it where I live , loads of juvenile pram pushers

Whenever someone closes me I send them a “Good luck with your search message”. Not that that happens often. Most of my matches are dead

Not that I bother with my matches at this point. *winks at Twee*

Mike- just been looking back; yes this is the UK commentary. I managed to get onto the equivalent US ‘forum’ and it was very, um, American. I got swamped at the point where they were arguing over the fashion impact of wearing cowboy boots with hot pants. There was lots and lots of punctuation.

I’m sorry you are/feel so… old.

Clinton: What have you done with Twee? Another day of silence and we’re going to need proof of life.

eH is an hour out! Trapped on BST.

And this is UK only … so far as I can tell.

Twee

This whole thing is a joke

Unless you have ditched a golfer or a footballer to find yourself trapped in a cellar unlikely to make the 10 o’cock news

OOOOps a smelling mistake well spotted dick

Mike: Fear not, I DO regularly go out, and occasionally meet new people the conventional way (i.e. tipsy and at the bar, whilst showing off my skills on the dance floor). I don’t just sit at home with cats nursing my repetitive strain injury caused by Project Closure you know!
When I’m out I tend to focus on the company that I’m with, so there really aren’t any pulling opportunities (or if there are, I haven’t pursued them).
The majority of my friends are either in long term relationships or busy with their kids. So, in many ways, even at the youthful age of 32 (33 on Saturday!), I experience the same obstacles faced by those that have ‘left it too late’, as you put it.
Twee: Don’t know you, but glad you are alive and well!
To everyone else: Hope you all have a good Thursday!

Don’t go scaring her – things are difficult enough as it is. And axes have no finesse anyway

Hey everyone! Friday tomorrow!
Ha ha! Sarah you crack me up!

Mike: You mean you’ve become one of those ghost matches? You swine! Turncoat! By the way, what make of chainsaw? I have a hedge trimmer, but I don’t think it has any real rampage potential.

I had to laugh at some of the profiles. Several of the matches I was sent are brief to say the least. Guys- please make the effort to complete the profiles otherwise your first impression is ‘I cant be arsed!’Not a good selling point. And 3 of those were from guys in Marketing!!!. Go figure.

The “close-reason” that I found the funniest is “I just don’t feel that the chemistry is there”. What chemistry are you talking about? You haven’t talked to me. There has to be interaction for there to be “chemistry”.

Oh Dear my latest match wants me to know that he is insecure and hurts a lot of the time, and doesn’t like to appear needy………mmmmmm…..Taxi !!!!

Mike: I thought it was blokes who wanted women to look like anorexic sticks with air-brushed skin, flawless makeup and 9″ heels.
I’ve had a closure do to a lack of chemistry.
I’d like them to put : “there is nothing in this profile to base any chemistry on,” for all those not-filled ones. Sometimes there isn’t even enough there to be able to send the icebreaker “You look interesting, why don’t you fill out the questions.”
In those cases I sometimes put my reason for closing as “based on statements in this profile…”

I always go for “based on statements” or “too much distance”. And there are lots of women’s profiles as well with barely any information. Or those that have written EVERYTHING IN CAPS.
Or those that say there passionate about X-Factor (living the dream).

I’ve been bitten by some cynical tonight. And those matches have dried up.

And one woman that I was communiting with has posted pics of herself … ummm … not completely dressed, shall I say?!

Sarah………….Not into sticks but also not into tree trunks, each has to be realistic , if you are a size 22 then you have to cut your cloth accordingly and realise a large % of chaps won’t be interested, and posting just a head shot doesn’t fool us neither does the description cuddly

I am realistic and don’t expect to attract the gals as you have described , just looking for an average lady with a good personality however there has to be some attraction and obese or thin as a rake doesn’t float my boat.

I would say 80% of recent matches have had little in the way of information or a photo ….One today started with the line ” I spend most evenings at work” Well unless she expected men to date her at her desk, she was onto a loser with that opening line straight away.
Quite a few profiles usually from the City types intimate they would like a chap to fit in around their business career, others have a big want list including “must be attractive and well presented” when they themselves look like they have eaten all the pies and have dressed in the dark…Makes me laugh……:-)

Mike- I’m size 14, have head and body photo posted and I get closed by men who are looking for more glamour. They tend to be in their late 40s-50s, have posted a photo of themselves at least 20 years younger (so I’m unable to comment on their size of beer gut,) and want a lady who is attractive and ‘takes pride in her appearance’ as well as being ‘well mannered/soft spoken/polite’ (doormats who’ll do their cooking and cleaning while they carry on with their lives).
So. Some people are single and bloody well deserve to be.

I was tempted today to sign up with EH however I now feel after reading this forum I should keep my money in the bank or at least have a good night out on the town instead. I’m glad I read all your honest comments about the site – I am a dating website beginner so was unsure about it all anyway.
Good Luck to Clinton & Twee.

Sarah

Re the ultimate line , even when I did chat with ” the two” by other means still kept them OPEN as felt a bit rude closing and had their profile/picture as a reference to remind me about them before/if we met.

I am really all out of positives to say about eH having just clicked through 23 matches and closed 18 of them mainly due to no picture or distance, checked the 16 or so I communicated with 4 closed messages and the remainder the rude No Replies ( even a closed message would do and would be some sort of acknowledgement ) I know two of them have viewed me so not ghost profile.I now have over 1200 in my closed list.

Rebecca
As I have said the fee to join small in comparison to a dating agency and may work for you, but wouldn’t hold ones breath especially if one lives in a remote location or is too specific with their matching criteria, again ( as this is what the thread is about) No picture or a pants picture reduces ones chances I would say as much as 40%, smoker 50% If you are very skinny or obese another 20% a midget or bean pole another 20% etc etc. Even if you get matches I would say only 2 in 10 may respond ,I have never got a request to communicate from a gal who has viewed my profile, all one way.

Mike (TOOA)

See what you are saying mate but after being on here six months, having various ladies at various stages of communication in cyberspace just wears one down, as one knows full well the chances of getting to actually meet up pretty slim , usually due to a tick in the wrong box ,a question one has answered wrongly , or in a few cases one has disgraced themselves re poor grammar……..Quite often weeks between responses to questions which becomes rather tedious

Hence once my subscription ends will be closing down.

Oh and it’s the “Price is Right” compared by the chap with the dyed hair that did Crappyjack…Leslie Crowther

Doesn’t look like anybody else has been having trouble getting to this page for the last few days.

Should mention that there are a couple of reasons why eH would probably never match myself with Twee. However, as Sarah mentioned, you are ideally looking for someone to compliment yourself as opposed to a carbon copy.

That said, no pressure mmm?

Now I feel all embarrassed I said no pressure!

Twee … I gave clues to the address. No point in making it TOO easy(!) (that’s not a clue, but a nod to Sarah). There’s a word needed to get in. And you are the answer (well, you or your twin from Mr Dodgson’s famous book). meetnchat

I closed my naked match today. And my new match was passionate about ‘TBC’ and spent her time ‘TBC’. Woah … steady on girl. socialgo

I’d never end a sentence without a full-stop of course. Not without reason anyway! com

I just wrote a comment and it didn’t get posted! Maybe it’ll turn up later in double?
Mike TOO… I get your book clue… thanks to wikepidia anyway… but I still haven’t worked out meetnchat…? Is that a type of french cat?
I get the ‘com stop go social’ but at? I think blokes are better at these sort of games… I don’t know what TBC is either, I thought it stood for To Be Continued… oh dear…
:):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

Hey all, btw – been reading for the last couple of days, took a while to reach the bottom

Twee – you have it then! Just those final three words on those lines (the ones without full-stops after them) stuck together with full-stops between them … then register using that ‘twin’ access code. Simples!

I’ve sent Mike (the original one!) an email with details. You’ll know the site when you see it. It’s created by Mike TOOA!

Well …..

Hope Sarah is ok… and where did Shirley disappear to?

Darn, I’ve spotted various typos on my previous message. Forgive me!

Sounds like Sarah’s met her match hehe

I tried both – neither worked…

Hello to everyone who has been on this thread and everyone who wades through it after us!
I am closing this match, because I have found the most amazing man- streets ahead of anything I could have hoped for.
I am almost embarrassed to have found him here, after all the negativity on this page!
And in the end I am a fickle friend because I can’t be bothered to work out all the clues to tell you face to face that I’m dumping you:-)
Goodbye and good luck for you all, in all your searches.

That is the thing though. You only have to get lucky once. Checked my matches for the first time today in weeks. Seriously EH, why all the nursery teachers???

Good grief! you lot have opened my eyes. Only wish I had known all this 2 days ago.
Still not sure what I am doing, how does one close a match? Loads have popped up but are terrifying, and I cant get rid of them.

Sal: Closing is my speciality! From the home page click on the name of the person you want to close. Scroll down their profile page – select ‘close match’ option on the bottom right of the page. Then it will ask you for a reason, select and close.

Garry: I’m a HR Manager, so it follows that you work in construction or IT? I would be astounded if you had a different occupation.

Think it’s tweedle-dee.

I have nothing against teachers. Honourable profession. I just find it odd that I get matched with so many…

4 new matches today. Including 1 teaching assistant, 1 nursery teacher and 1 social worker who works with children.

It’s just really, really odd.

Nadia … sorted!

I mainly get teachers, lecturers, and nurse! I’ve just assumed that these must be lonely professions. Well, ones where you don’t encounter a lot of suiters it would appear. But maybe it’s what I’ve asked for?!?

It is gloomy and raining here today, reflecting my mood.

Hi Garry and Sal!

Mike: Cheers! You need a proper marketing campaign, or else I’ll be chatting to yourself… ring any bells? We don’t want a repeat performance do we now?

Clinton: perhaps there were some questions in that ‘oh so long’ questionnaire that we all completed originally (eithout fully understanding the consequences) that implied you had ’special needs’, and they thought you needed looking after? Don’t be surprised if some nannies pop us tomorrow!

Garry: So why haven’t they matched us then? They have failed me yet again! I will be submitting a complaint immediately.

Anyway, have a great Friday people! I am off out for a beverage now, I need it. Night!

Wow, I’m new to EH and just made it through the questionaire! Certain that was harder than my school exams and the specialist subject was supposed to be me!! Not sure if the G&Ts were helping either.
Just stumbled across this page, hadn’t realised there was so much going on. Just gotta decide whether this is a good idea and subscribe?? After I’ve located a half decent photo.

Hi folks,
I literally only just joined up, but immediately spotted a problem. On my home page there’s no facility to contact eharmony, I also don’t see a ‘Help’ or ‘FAQ’ facility. Unless I’m missing something obvious??
Thanks in advance (for any helpful comments!)

Oooh look! eH are reading this still. Yay them for letting is carry on our little chats.

Hi Ali as well. Hey … all you guys appear to be from London, so it ought to be easy for you. I’ve heard tales that there are lots of people in London.

Garry – come on over to our place and chat there. Oh … and everyone else too (Nadia … I’m not in marketing, and that’s as good as I can do).

Mike TOOA – that’ll do luv i.r.o. marketing.

Clinton – You need to move away from chavvy Croydon asap. It’s no good for your self-esteem dear. Any area falling outside the underground system is sadly tragic unless you drive. Fear not, something will come up soon, project a bit of positive energy… it’s a big world out there.

Nadia – I had to look up ‘i.r.o.’ (us guys from the sticks are so stoopid). The last time I was in London I had a magical time. I’ll tell about it in that other place (someone ought to post).

Clinton – are you saying there are too many fish and you need a fine filtering net? And those ordered lists are revealing(!)

What are you doing up so early on Sunday? 5000 KP out.

Mike TOOA – You’re not stupid at all, in fact, quite the opposite, You’re certainly more IT literate than I will ever hope to be. Will talk on the other place

Clinton – I was only kidding to wind you up man… hey it worked! Man… relax! I believe it when you say you’re not from Croydon. I hear you about the big world, where everyone looks down at their feet on the tube, and daren’t make eye contact with their neighbours.

Two hours! Cripes. When I go up to London I have taken to walking above ground(!) providing the weather is fine. It seems healthier and sometimes quicker than the tube. I do recall going for courses near Feltham(?) and that involved 45 mins out to terminal 4; then a bus journey; then a walk. Over and hour and all in London.

You could both hop on a train and meet in Leicester in less time!

I guess it’s the same in most larger cities that have a ‘greater’ part.

Well, I must trundle on … I am getting 7 matches a day now. But not very good ones unfortunately.

Where has Mike gone?

Hehe… didn’t say I wouldn’t make an effort. Just that it’s difficult. That and conflicting schedules.

If you’re talking about the spacemonkey then that would be me.

Sarah got someone and dumped us. Twee works a lot. Dunno about the rest.

Ooh – this is no longer on the home page now so harder to find!

Garry – ahhh. Contractor. I will keep my lips together.

Okay … Nadia, SM(!), and chaps lets start a forum/threa/ whatever over there then – and drop hints on these articles to drag people over.

I have a bad back. Ouch.

Hi everyone tonight I came across this E h site thinking well here is something different

Mike TOOA – what does ‘SM’ mean? Also, I will reply to your loooong email about London soon I promise!

Garry – fear not, you can always go into construction or garbage collection.

Clinton – thanks for the advice!

Clinton- I agree i keep being sent non-subscribers. The great silent majority!

Do you think EH bother to read these emails?

Hmmm! Very corporate response indeed. We must all be experiencing rotton luck then!
My theory is that most people have been convinced to join EH by well meaning friends and family members and arent really committed to the process. Because we are sent matches rather than searching for ourselves, its quite a passive experience. nobody seems to be proactive. I’ve never made so many first moves!

Hi guys! Happy Easter!!!!

I do get closed a lot without views, but I think this might be just how people are. It happens on other sites too! You will get to see someone’s age and main profile pic without having to view their profile (I think) and some people feel that’s enough to reject/ignore on. Not me, but I’ve known it happen.

Nadia – nice to hear from you. Did I ramble on? I meant to put it in a forum thread …

Suzi – hi!

Have a great weekend everyone.

Mike.

I saw a profile of a bloke whose profile photo was of him and a celeb. The following photos had catchy comments about ‘next stop Hollywood’ etc. I didn’t even read his profile. I agree, it looks like you’re trying too hard and we just move on.
I agree with Alex, too many photos with kids and ‘look I’m a package’ or ‘look I’m a great Dad’ doesn’t send the right first impression. I would happily see someone who has kids, in fact I have just had my first date with someone who has kids and it went really well, but I don’t want it pushed in my face at the first hurdle.
Having said that, its great that you put photos on there, those that don’t, I could be missing out on a gorgeous looker but whats the point if the conviction isn’t there?!!!

Okaaaay… considering joining the site, Have been sent 7 matches straight off 5 of which are 3 or 4 inches shorter than I am… is it some sort of a hook?

Not exactly inspiring me to hand over my cash…

Ax

Amanda – even I know that women don’t really like going out with guys shorter than themselves. Even short girls want guys who are at least 6 feet tall

But I do think both sexes miss out because of this sort of stereotyping. One of those matches of yours might be the most perfect guy for you but you’ve dismissed him because of something relatively trivial.

Hi,
I’m finding myself agreeing with most things said about the pictures, it’s so frustrating……you never know if they are bonafide members or not.
On a cynical note eharmony you don’t ever reply to the requests to change your policy, you only ever answer ones that are of a practical nature.
What confuses me is that all the women are saying blokes don’t reply and the men are saying the same- it doesn’t add up!
I’m very broad in my criteria and consider all matches sent to me but i still don’t get the replies

Clinton

Re height

I agree , one has only to look at the pics of shortie Bernie Ecklethingy and the obligitory long legged young ladies he courts , it is obvious that the “only” attraction for them is his short stature
mmm I think Ms Merton summed it up once with another famous celeb

Someone who I have been in communication with (not on here) says she has to factor in her heels (two inches) when choosing a guy she is 5′7 so won’t date anyone under 5′10….Then you wonder why single

All I can say to you mate is ….”Follow the yellow brick road ” ….

It was quite amusing at work two female colleagues were discussing using it ( they didn’t know I was on here) and advised me to save my money, if ever tempted, I felt like saying I have already found that out.

If eH just implemented the “when last logged in suggestion” and only sent matches from those that had logged in recently , they may keep more of their members , but probably would show up how many people on here are actually current, I suspect not a lot

Mate
Like all these sites, none being any worse than the others , they prey on peoples loneliness and in some cases desperation in the hope of meeting someone, we are all, myself included guilty of falling for the promises of meting ones match and are happy to pay out hard earned cash….one soon learns and moves on like I will when my membership expires.
As I have said before one gets what one pays for and if one is serious in meeting someone either join a large social club or join a reputable dating agency , this is just playing at it and the chances of meeting Miss/Mr Right pretty hopeless as the odds stacked against you getting a current match with a picture that actually lives anywhere near you

Mike (TOOA) if you are still using that forum can you email me again the link I saved it using my Ubisurfer (notebook) and for some reason all my bookmarks have gone.was gonna log in tonight..sorry to be a pain

Clinton….Just read though the posts glad you met up with Twee, do I need to buy a hat??

I have a date tonight but nowt to do with eH

Hi Suzie

Much as I hate to say it you can’t blame eH for this guy being an a&*e, if it had worked out you may have sung eH’s praises:-) .
I have had three closed messages tonight ( usually don’t have any) from women wishing to pursue other relationships,at least proved thay actually existed , I have also just got back from an actual date with a well nice lady (dating agency match) so fingers crossed …

OOPs! after the I usually get chatted up bit I meant to add I was hoping to meet someone on the same mental wave length before photo’s were exchanged but you have made me change my mind. I think it was the buying a car before test driving it comment that did it!

Hi Clinton

Sorry didn’t work out , wondered why she hasn’t appeared on here.A reply costs nothing

Yes I got the survey most questions scored a 1 , would I recommend this site …yer right !!!

I’m having quite a bit of luck with my dating agency , have actually had some meets, will be having my second date with one gal,it’s a bit pricey but better than this lottery and the gals actually exist

Diversify mate, join some social clubs, you must have some interests even if coach spotting Most cost about £100 a year, if pants try another one.
Have you tried singles holidays? some are companies that just do holidays others are dating outfits that also do weekends/weeks away. I have dated two gals over the years who I have met.

As I keep banging on about, eH even if they provided matches that responded is just a dabble and one can’t rely on it alone as even if they respond one still has to go four rounds before even start chatting.
Loads more today with no pictures , have over 25 in my communicating list that have not responded or haven’t closed me , the tumble weed blows through my inbox again

I usually delete profiles without photos or where there are no photos without sunglasses. I like to know who I’m communicating with, and assume anyone who feels the need to hide their identity also has something else to hide.

Bit difficult to explain Carl. They’ll find you plenty of “highly compatible matches” who never ever respond.

Mike. Your comment gave me some pause. So I asked out a girl at one of my clubs about a month ago. Things are going well.

As an example Carl, I’ve been off eH for that month and not one of my matches has tried to contact me. Enough said.

On the subject of picture disasters, I think the worst I have seen is a woman eating a packet of crisps! The ones that make me smile are the full cleavage shots, or bra and panties with a request for men to be more respectful.

The reason that I think the responses on this site are so poor, is due to the high cost of actually getting to see anyone here. I suspect most people sign up expecting to see who they are likely to be introduced to at first and then find they have to pay a high fee just to see who has been matched with them. I think that the site would be more successful if you could see at least one photo or the initial subscription was lower. But then what do I know, I am not running a successful dating site. However I am having a lot of success in communicating with people on another free one.

just wanted to say that I have found it more interesting reading some of these wonderful comments than I have the profiles. I thought I was the only one who had problems with non-responders! so it has certainly made me feel better.

Hi there,
This thread has cheered me up enormously. I keep being sent a mixture of irrelevant matches or matches with no pic/hardly any info.
Anyone fancy meeting up for a drink? We could have a “disgruntled Eharmony” night out. At least we’d all have giggle. Any one up for it?

i can’t even upload a picture. i have used old ones , taken new ones. i have checked size and format and it will not let me. Really wish i had not bothered , what a waste of time and money!

Hi
I have taken note of the photo guide, and recently was given the chance to attend a professional photo shoot. My photo’s are great, even when uploaded on my computer. But when uploaded on Eharmony all the photos are dark, I tried to use the tools given but that just makes them worse.
After using the tools, the best I can get is to make the photos red and or grainy, they look terrible. Help, please!

I think it’s funny (peculiar) that some of my matches have mentioned their ex-wives when asked who has had the most influence on their lives.I am not sure whether they mean a benign influence (she was some woman, I’ll never meet anyone as amazing as her again) or malign (she was a complete cow and I will never forgive and forget). I would avoid anyone who mentioned an ex-wife or girlfriend in their profile. Move on folks…

I haven’t subscribed yet, nor have I uploaded a photo. I simply haven’t got a good one that I’d be happy for anyone to see even though I only have one chin and one (fairly flat) belly!
I’ve had a good laugh reading this forum and I’m wavering backwards and forwards about joining. One thing though, when I receive matches I change my preferences if I realise I’ve set them wrongly e.g. several were too old so I narrowed that range. It’s easy enough to do. The burning question is: Shall I stump up the cash?

I find the pictures of the guys kayaking through shark infested waters intimidating, i dont spend my weekends doing that!

I wish I had found this before subscribing. Only been a paid up member for a few weeks but took only about 5 days to realise that most of the matches are not suitable and those that are, I have had no response from Had I read this I wouldnt have bothered. I tried to narrow the distance setting to my county but no Welsh counties in the list and the lowest radius from my hometown includes matches that live across the water.. way to far for datng in my view!!! Delete most of my matches because of distance without reading them!!!! Rubbish. Will stick to Plenty of Fish in future!!

Just found you all here! I have been registered for a few months and apart from a few photo-nudges ( which are no use as I have no photos available as I am a complete twit on a PC), I have had no luck in meetng anyone !. Looking forward to going on a Saga singles holiday at this rate. Could have spent the registration money on a weekend treat instead. x

Im out of here, clearly a veggie and I’ve been matched with a butcher. No thanks!

Having just spent an enjoyable couple of hours reading through all these comments has confirmed everything I thought about eH – it is a complete and utter waste of money. I’m sorry I didn’t find this forum until I’d parted with my hard earned cash.Ilive right on the south coast so kept my distance criteria to within 50 miles – reasonable I thought. I don’t mind driving but fuel is too expensive to going trolleying up far North! So what do I get? Men from Wales the Midlands and the top end of Scotland and outside of my age criteria too! Does eH bother to take those criteria into account? The matches that I have been sent that I have contacted have not bothered to respond. How rude is that! Do I even want to bother with someone who has no common manners.I’m not unattractive and my attitude (as important as looks)is young and very active..
I’ve joined an activities group called SPICE I highly recommend to everyone. Not a dating site but exactly what it says on the box. Just about every activity or holiday you can think of. So far I’ve been on a narrowboat w/e and archery class and I’m off to a murder mystery weekend in Stratford in a week or so where there will be 95 members. Try it folks, I don’t think you’ll be disappointed. (I do not get commission from them to advertise – I am just really impressed with them).
Good luck to you all and I’ve enjoyed reading these comments so I’ll check in rather than look to see if I have any matches; funnily enough I’m getting them daily even though my subscription has expired.

there is one crime worse than posting a bad photo and that is not posting a photo at all. I wish there was a way to stipulate that I want no more suggestions that do not have a photo. Looks are not everything, I know, but they are a great deal because one picture paints a thousand words.

I agree, profiles should not be allowed to go live until a photo has been posted.It seems to me that those who say – “well, we can exchange photos later” just haven’t thought it through. Put it this way: if I am contacted by someone WITH a photo, and I don’t like the photo, I can just say,”sorry, I don’t feel we’re well matched.” But if I was to get into conversation with someone, THEN exchange photos,and I don’t like the photo… what can I say??! The other person then is painfully aware they are being rejected because of their looks, which nobody likes.It is so embarrising to have to do this that I simply prefer not to get into communication with people without photos.

As well as photos, i don’t think a profile should go live until the person has paid their subscription.. It is frustrating to go to the trouble of contacting potential matches only to find that they cannot read or reply to your message becasue they have not bothered to subscribe. If people wish to browse the site before subscribing, that is fine, but their profiles should not be posted.

Having read the remarks above I’m not so sure I’ll be parting with any cash any time soon.

I haven’t posted a photo just yet as I don’t really have any recent ones where I don’t look tired and fed up but I would agree wholeheartedly that one should have at least one picture.

I seem to be getting around a dozen “matches” each day with the odd one or two nudging, poking or otherwise interfering with me in some way.

As a non paying member I cannot currently view any profile pictures but I’m amazed to hear that some women on here post cleavage or bra/pants pictures on here – do they really think men are that shallow?

Given that I’m male and have a pulse such pictures would attract my attention but if “that” was all I was looking for I could get “it” fairly easily and without having to part with any cash.

I’m kind of testing the water just now but I have to say that this part of the site appears to be the best bit. And very entertaining.

sorry it isn’t going well for you Andrew. I’m also getting very little responses (I think out of the usual daily 6-10 matches hardly any are still using the site). I think there must be a better way of running a site like this – what’s the problem? is it that the subscription is too high? or is it insufficient advertising? Also it’s been a “free communication” weekend – what I’ve found is that they can email but dont see your pic – pointless.