23 December 2009
Five tips for having the best eHarmony experience
by eHarmony
eHarmony is a completely different dating website experience, and it pays to know exactly how to get the best from our service. These five tips will help you get the most from your subscription.
Print Email
1. Be realistic, yet positive
At eHarmony we’re not into outlandish, unfounded promises. We’ll never guarantee you’ll find love – but we can tell you that thousands of couples have met and married through our service over the years. And we can also tell you that every single couple you see in our adverts is real. Some of those couples may have been on lots of dates before finding the right match, and some may have met straight away.
The point is, you have a great chance of meeting someone you really click with on eHarmony. But you need to be open and ready to put yourself out there – and put in some effort too. We’ll present you with your compatible matches, and it’s up to you to do the rest. Ultimately, you should find it an incredibly rewarding experience.
2. Prepare to learn more about yourself
You go into eHarmony full of hope that you will find your match, and yet you’re faced with ignored communications and people you think you’d never like if you met them in person. You may wonder how on earth you were matched with these people, but instead of dismissing your matches, you can see what they say about you.
Think of your matches as a mirror of your personality – this mirror doesn’t always lie. If there seems to be a pattern emerging, perhaps – gasp – it could be down to you, not your matches? Maybe you come across as too eager, or to dismissive; the positive side is that you now have the opportunity to learn about yourself and alter your behaviour.
3. Embrace your ‘flaws’
Chemistry is a funny thing. While we match you with other people on compatibility, giving you the best chance at starting a relationship, there’s no accounting for chemistry. Never assume that because you think you’re too small, or too tall (or whatever other body measurement you may use to judge yourself) that your match will think the same. It could be those things that you think make you feel an outsider that your match will absolutely love about you.
4. Know what your deal breakers are – and what you can compromise on
We all think we know our type and the kind of people we ‘just won’t fancy’. But look back on your previous relationships – we bet there are some in there that started completely out the blue. Love comes from the most unexpected sources, so rather than thinking ‘Oh, he’s a bit short for me’, start communicating, you never know where it might lead.
On the other hand, don’t break your ‘Must Haves, Can’t Stands’ because you really want something to work. If you know you could never marry a smoker, then don’t start going out with them. You probably won’t be able to make them quit, and then you’ll just be unhappy.
5. Give yourself the opportunity to learn
Of course, it’s easy for us to say, ‘Never deviate from your Mush Haves and Can’t Stands’. You’ll probably need to do that simply to test your boundaries – after all, we learn by doing…and making mistakes. But think about eHarmony as a fresh way to look at dating and relationships. As you go on, you’ll learn as much about yourself as you will about what you want from a relationship. And that can be an amazing experience.
If you’re prepared to make mistakes and be honest with yourself – and your matches – then you should gain a lot from your eHarmony membership.
Print Email
1
tinaneal
31 December 2009 11:13
I ama subscriber and find it very difficult to deal with the list of matches when there are no photos to see. And I look at people and then lookv again because there seems to be no way of registering what you have looked at b4. Can u help?
2
eharmony
31 December 2009 11:20
Hi there Tina,
Thank you for your comments. We have forwarded your queries onto our Customer Care team who will be in touch shortly.
Best wishes,
eHarmony Advice
3
robert baxter
31 December 2009 20:26
Find it hard to fill in your form ,have answered all the questions ,when i try to save and continue i get red letters saying you must respond to question and number yet i have filled them all in
4
salamander
31 December 2009 22:23
You say “Prepare to learn more about yourslf” but how can I do that when most of the close messages I receive say “Other”. What does this tell me?
5
eharmony
4 January 2010 10:35
Hi there Robert,
Thank you for your comments. We have forwarded your queries onto our Customer Care team who will be in touch shortly.
Best wishes,
eHarmony Advice
6
Laura
7 January 2010 18:06
I have spent a long time filling out your form and introductory information etc, which is quite difficult and time consuming, I’ve tried to be open, honest, detailed and not be too limited about what I am looking for but have followed your advice to know what I can and can’t compromise on but even after all of that you don’t find a single match! I am prepared to take your advice and consider various types of people and think about the matches if I get the chance to!
7
Dav
7 January 2010 21:48
1. In my limited experience on eHarmony it is important to make an effort to write your thoughts and experiences to people who communicate with you (obvious but not always done, especially by men).
2. I also made a mistake in trying to meet people in parallel – rushing too much. This puts pressure on the others (since I was open about my approach) and then leads to hurt when a ‘choice’ is made. People can develop feelings very quickly so it might be best to focus on meeting one person at a time. (this may be obvious to people who date all the time!)
8
MC
10 January 2010 12:38
Having completed the questionnaire and paid my 3 mjonth dues I am disappointed to have no matches after over a week as a subscriber.
Please can you advise if there is a problem at your end or if there is something I have failed to do as a user.
I am a normal healthy attractive single woman based in the UK
9
eharmony
11 January 2010 10:53
Hi MC,
Thank you for your query about eHarmony. We have passed on your question to our dedicated Customer Care team. They should respond to you via email in the next 24-48 hours.
If you have any more queries, please contact our Customer Care team here: http://help-singles.eharmony.co.uk/app/ask/kw/contact/r_id/166
Best wishes,
eHarmony Advice
10
Remembering the People You Love | Not Just a Pretty Mum
11 February 2010 14:36
[...] a movie you have always been meaning to watch. If the two of you are in the mood, you can swap relationship advice, old love stories, and funny dating experiences. Then the two of you can enjoy the candles, [...]
11
tor
19 April 2010 08:48
Eharmony, please help! I cannot seem to contact you! Just clicked on link in MCs reply above and it’s not getting me anywhere! I need to ask something that I’m now a little frustrated about as I have no idea how to contact you! My question is about guided communication…I have followed guided with a match to last stage (am new to eharmony) and I’m now waiting on response to stage 3, next stage is eharmony mail. However I’m not getting the option to send eharmony mail to this person…the box at side of persons profile only says waiting for response, no option for me to send a mail…other matches have had this option at stages 1&2…please get in touch with advice…is this supposed to happen? Only been on eharmony a month…
12
eharmony
19 April 2010 09:37
Hi Tor,
Apologies that the link above did not work for you – we’ll look into that. In the meantime, we’ve forwarded your query to our Customer Care team who will get back to you with a response within 48 hours. You can also call them directly if you wish on 0800 028 0308 (free phone).
Hope that helps!
Best wishes,
eHarmony Advice
13
Caroline
9 May 2010 05:34
Hi, I have been chatting with this guy in the UK since December and we have talked on the phone a few times and everything is going good. I was wondering since I live in the states and he lives in the UK when would it be good for us to meet in person and who should travel across first me or him? I really enjoy talking with him and would love to meet him & I think he feels the same way. I hope one day to meet him. Thanks Caroline