Comments on: Making the first move: our top tips

By: Anna

Anna — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 20:53:22 +0000

Thank you thank you thank you!
These messages have restored my self esteem as I was beginning to think I must be a complete minger as nobody replies!!!! Maybe we should set up a break away site as everyone who’s commented is obviously interested
As for matches I think my best one who was obviously so ‘deeply compatible’ was a bisexual naturist
good luck to all x

By: Claire

Claire — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 18:23:59 +0000

I really don’t like that matches can see how often you’ve viewed their profile. I’ve viewed people I’m not sure on several times to remind myself not realising thatthey would see and think I’m really interested or a stalker! I can’t actually work out where I can see who is viewing me, guess I need to spend awhile looking at the settings but I agree it’s not that user friendly.

By: eHarmony

eHarmony — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 09:13:16 +0000

Hi Rosemarie,

I’m really sorry to hear that you’re not having a good experience with eHarmony. We would love to help you out and see if we can make the rest of the time you have with us more fruitful. We have a great Customer Care team who are on hand to help: you can call them for free on 0800 028 0308, chat with them using Live Chat from our help page (http://help-singles.eharmony.co.uk/app/home) or you can email them (http://help-singles.eharmony.co.uk/app/ask). They will be able to give you lots of tips and ideas for getting the most out of eHarmony.

In the meantime, there are some things you can do to encourage more communication:

- Is your profile photo a really great photo of you? One that you look at and think ‘I look great!’ I know this may sound shallow, but lots of people look at profile photos before they read a match’s profile. One of the best things you can do is ask a friend to choose a photo for you. Friends will often have a great idea of what makes you look your best.
- Is your profile interesting and varied? We hear two complaints about profiles: firstly that they’ve not been filled out fully and secondly that they sound generic. It’s important to stand out with your profile and make your unique personality shine through. Pay special attention to the section about what you’re most passionate about. That’s usually the first part of your profile your matches will see and if it’s lacklustre or has just a couple of words in it then this might turn some matches off.
- Send Guided Communication or eHarmony Mail to any matches you’re really interested in. Icebreakers are a good way to show an interest, but if you can show that you’ve tried to personalise your communication with a match then is shows you’ve put in more effort.

Hope this helps, and please let us know if you have any more questions.

Best wishes,
Emily
eHarmony Advice

By: Rosemarie

Rosemarie — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 07:21:57 +0000

hi there everyone, i joined for a year, i am now on my 9th month, (silly me!) I have send endless smiles,icebreakers, emails…as yet heard nothing back….this is the worst online website, in my experience…. very demoralising

By: Jenny

Jenny — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 16:56:47 +0000

Re fan; I put no faith in this website but know I have to try as I’ve gone to long, become too comfortable being on my own.Yes I’ve sent lots (40 in 3 weeks)of icebreakers, smiles and emails and have heard from 3 men. I treat it like a game. good luck everyone.

By: David

David — Sun, 28 Aug 2011 08:19:03 +0000

I just signed up for a month and I also get the impression that a lot of contacts aren’t paying members as they usually only have a couple of photos at most and limited profile. If someone has viewed your profile more than once there’s a good chance they might be interested but if you want to contact them and they can’t respond or see what you look like what’s the point. You could try sending a message with your email address and say you’ll send them some pics if they get in touch.

By: Stuart

Stuart — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 19:25:35 +0000

I’ve been on here for a few weeks. Sent out loads of ice breakers, mails and ‘questions’ and nada. There is one girl who, from her profile, is absolutely perfect, I’d love to meet her. I’ve sent mail, ice breakers and questions but nothing in return. I can see she’s been online so if she wasn’t interested she would of closed me right? My guess is she hasn’t subscribed which is a shame because I know she’s out there and she seems lovely. Maybe an option to pay a little more and allow non subscribers to contact you (and read your messages) is needed? I am a bit disillusioned with eHarmony. Its a bit too ‘locked down’.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 18:02:59 +0000

I am looking to join, wish there was a trial period free to test the site out as unfortunately I am not prepared to fork out money without testing the site properly. Does anybody know the ratio of full members (who are able to respond) to non paid up members?

By: Gary

Gary — Wed, 20 Jul 2011 10:28:10 +0000

I find I share the frustrations of many people posting in this thread, So many matches say they are passionate about communication (after all that is one of the cornerstones of building a relationship), yet, as has been pointed out, do not respond. I am aware that they may not currently be full paying members, in these tougher economic times, it is a serious investment on this site. But I do feel it should be easier to get the conversations going. knowing if a member is fully paying or not is key, trial members should be marked, so we know to give them more time to complete profiles, update photos and sort out a full membership. And they should at least be able to acknowledge receipt of an Icebreaker / question / mail, even if only to say “Not interested” or “I would like to reply as soon as my membership goes through”.
Otherwise I see everyone waiting for a free communication weekend and mailing real e-mail address’s to those they are interested in. I have heard of some people who do this to a temp e-mail address they set up just for matches…

Communication is the key, you are a communication website, try communicating better with your own customers and listen to their requests

Gary
250 communications, no responses!!

By: fan

fan — Sat, 09 Jul 2011 19:08:34 +0000

Awww, I had put such faith on e-harmony and thought I would meet my perfect match. Summer is here and is time to be with someone to go for a walk a nice lunch in the country, make love in the garden but all I get is nothing but wrong matches and when I send an icebreaker there is no reply. Treat others how you would like to be treated, this so much time consuming specially after a day’s work, so guys (girls & boys) pleaseeeee, be nice and reply. whatever your answer
Fan

By: eHarmony

eHarmony — Wed, 18 May 2011 15:55:15 +0000

Hi Mark,

Thanks for your comments. We send members a set of matches each day, usually around 5-7. This allows you to browse each match carefully, and means that – unlike on other sites – you’re not overwhelmed with hundreds of profiles. You are also able to change your distance settings to suit you. You can find out more about this here: http://www.eharmony.co.uk/relationship-advice/using-eharmony/2010/09/how-to-get-your-distance-settings-right

We have over 1.5 million registered users, and our service has worked for thousands of couples. We would urge you to give us another go – even if that’s without subscribing and just seeing who you’re matched with. However, if not we wish you well in your search!

Best wishes
Emily
eHarmony Advice

By: Mark

Mark — Wed, 18 May 2011 15:05:23 +0000

Have joined and already cancelled subscription on 1st day…..only 6 matches in a 60 mile radius you gotta be kidding, and there doesn’t seem to be a way of browsing through the non matches either.

With the publicity this site had had I would have expted it to be full of paying subscribers.

Extremely dissapointed in EH, no where near meeting expectations.

By: cc

cc — Tue, 03 May 2011 16:40:42 +0000

HI
I agree with Mel, we should take a relaxed approach, and if people are not replying it usually is because they are not interested! But hey move on, maybe EH isn’t for everyone, but their is definately someone for everyone out there….somewhere!!
My only problem with EH, is the matches they were sending me, were shorter then me, EH stated that height preference did not matter to people looking for potential partners, but as a woman at 5ft10ins, I can tell you it does 100% matter, especially to me!
With the point of closing matches- can someone explain to me what this is?!? Thanks and happy searching everyone

By: HG

HG — Sun, 03 Apr 2011 13:32:52 +0000

I am beginning to wonder if this is just a con – I have now been on the site for several months and not one person has contacted me. Perhaps you could explain what I am doing wrong

By: Lesley

Lesley — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 23:43:52 +0000

as an experiment I send an icebreaker to almost every single one of my matches and did not get a single reply. I also find the lack of personal communication on this site extremely frustrating – I won’t be renewing my subscription – there are plenty of much better free dating sites out there

By: Jane

Jane — Tue, 22 Mar 2011 11:45:28 +0000

Pretty disappointed with it so far. Have had nearly a month and sent gazillions of ice breakers to cast my net far and wide. 3 responses and 2 of those then disappeared (hint to everybody – would be kind to say you don’t want to take it any further). I have 3 months membership so I’ll keep trying and stay positive – doubt I’ll renew tho. I seem to get loads of potential matches but perhaps they exist on some other plane

By: Mel

Mel — Tue, 22 Mar 2011 01:05:52 +0000

My days! Why is everyone taking this sooo seriously, dating is meant to be fun and at the moment (I joined last week) I’m having fun e-mailing some men who maybe aren’t in it for a relationship but want to chat, meet up etc. Maybe if a lot of you stopped acting so desperately and lightened up a bit, you’d get more dates, so far I’ve had no trouble .. life’s too short, so have some fun! by the way Steve, I’m dyslexic and I feel no extra provisions need to be put in place, I think e harmony is doing a good job xx

By: eHarmony

eHarmony — Tue, 15 Mar 2011 09:51:40 +0000

Hi L,

Thanks for your comments. I’m really sorry your matches don’t seem to be compatible for you. The best thing for you to do is to call our Customer Care team who will be able to look into your matches for you, and help you get the best from your match settings. Call them for free on 0800 028 0308 (Monday to Friday, 10:30 a.m. to 7:30 p.m., and Saturday, 9:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m)

Hope this helps!

Best wishes,
Emily
eHarmony Advice

By: L

Mon, 14 Mar 2011 20:02:18 +0000

Agree wholeheartedly with the met ASAP approach. You just don’t know until you meet in person.
Also, I am having major issues with being matched inappropriately. I’ve been very specific with my criteria, yet still get matches that are clearly in contradiction (yet aren’t flagged as flex matches). Don’t know what to do.

By: eHarmony

eHarmony — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 09:52:36 +0000

Hi Anne,

I’m sorry you’re finding our site a little confusing. I’d suggest you call our Customer Care team, who will be able to walk you through any issues you’re having. You can call them for free on 0800 028 0308 (Monday to Friday, 10:30 a.m. to 7:30 p.m., and Saturday, 9:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m). They know the site inside out and should be able to answer any of your questions.

Hope this helps!

Best wishes,
Emily
eHarmony Advice

By: Anne

Anne — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 23:10:59 +0000

After reading all this I am glad to realise that its not just me. I find this site totally confusing and painfully frustrating. I havnt recieved any form of communication after 2 weeks of being on the site. How on earth are you supposed to find out you have recieved a message anyways, maybe I have had an ice breaker to instigate communication but I dont know about it as yet?? Totally confused and very dissapointed.

By: Tim

Tim — Sun, 06 Mar 2011 06:27:40 +0000

This comment stream has really struck home.

I am ok with getting a knock back, I am fine with ” sorry Tim, not interested, good luck in your search ”

I have done the same to people who have enquired.

Why can’t we have that feature added. I’m fine with just being told, ” thanks but no thanks “.

It’s not what I truly mean, but the gist is there.

JC wrote a good piece about this, I’ve read this forum and it’s opened my eyes a bit, shocked and at times made me scream laughing ! Totally agree, nod my head in being reminded of the experiences so far.

I am serious, I am not bitter, my reasons for going about looking for someone suit me and my lifestyle/workstyle.

She’s out there, not in a pub or club, I can’t do that now, this, I thought was an option that made it preferable, suitable to find that certain someone.

I joined, and have continually paid the the money (it’s not the money either that I’m p&ssed about), it’s the fact that if I send out a hello or mail / ice breaker that you get some form of feedback or ” yes or no “

By: Ruth

Ruth — Sat, 05 Mar 2011 05:50:18 +0000

I just found this thread quite by accident and I’m very glad I did.

I think that says it all about this site. I seem to find everything by accident!
It is difficult to navigate and find what you are looking for and everything seems to be unnecessarily long winded.

I hadnt realise about the fact that so many of my ‘matches’ could be unpaid members and thus never likely to communicate.
At the moment, having been on here for three weeks, I am still receiving at least 7 matches a day. I have sent ice breakers, questions and emails to several of my matches (I am being pro active in this!) and have only actually communicated with two.
My homepage is full of matches and as others have said this just becomes a list of names and as I dont archive or close matches as I see them I end up having to reopen them all at a later date to decide where to go with them. A thumbnail photo would help me with the now 90matches I have to sort through again.

Time consuming and clunky is I think the best way to describe my experience on the site.

I am on here to find love or at least a step in the right direction, so it’s not for want of trying to get on with the site.But I wont be re-newing and I wont be recommending the site to anyone soon either.

I just find it strange that a site that has such great advertising and promise is actually so hard to navigate and non user friendly. Im sure that many many happy customers would disagree with me (after all 2% of American weddings last year were eharmony ones!!! see advertising and all that! hahahaaa).

By: JC

JC — Sat, 26 Feb 2011 00:41:12 +0000

I’ve only been on eH for 4 days but I’ve already come across quite a few hurdles.

1) I found the sign-up/profile-building extremely tedious and I ended up rewriting alot of it once I finally got to see how it looked on my profile page.

2) Why oh why are there no thumbnails to accompany the names on the list of matches? I keep mistakenly viewing the profiles of people I’m not really interested in (and thereby, I believe, alerting them to my repetitive attention) because when I first viewed I wanted to think about them a bit before closing. It took me a while to realise that I was better off keeping track by archiving the “maybe” matches and just keeping the “wow” matches open on the homepage. (But I’m not sure what’s happening, if anything, on the other person’s end when I archive them).

3) How do I view my personality profile? I have kept it hidden from my matches because I don’t know what it says. I understand this is all about honesty but I’d like some idea of what other people will be learning about me.

On the positive side, I was quite impressed by the quality of matches I’ve been presented with so far. Most of them seem quite well suited to me (on paper, anyway.) Nobody’s made an effort at communicating yet so I’m going to take the first step myself and hope for a better response than most of the other commenters on this feed seem to have gotten!

By: J

Fri, 25 Feb 2011 20:14:26 +0000

Hi, I can only echo what so many others seem to be saying, EH has turned out to be a real let down. How can the matches they send be so compatible if they don’t respond? It does make you wonder if these people actually exist. Surely if the EH matching system is so good matches would be keen to respond. It does nothing for your confidence. Just have to put it down to experience. When I questioned my non-responding matches EH said they couldn’t distinguish between paying and non-paying members and I had joined after a free weekend. Fair comment but I think if people don’t join after a few weeks they should be removed from the matching system or at least we should be able to tell if matches are paid up members so we know they are serious.