6 January 2012
Profile Feedback: Edition #9
by eHarmony
This month's profile comes courtesy of Rhona - she'd love to know what you think about her profile, what could be added, or even what's best left out.
Sometimes it’s great to get a second pair of eyes on something. That’s why, every month, we showcase one user’s eHarmony profile, asking for your feedback. We’ve had a great response so far, and for our ninth edition we’re showcasing Rhona’s profile below.
Whether you’re male or female, we’d love your comments. What do you think of the profile as a whole? What do you think works? What do you think could be improved? All comments are gratefully received, but please, nothing rude or overly personal. She’s looking for helpful critique not harsh criticism!
And, if you’re interested in getting involved, you can find out more here:
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The one thing I am most passionate about:
I enjoy keeping fit, particularly running, and enjoy taking part in races. I am basically an outdoors-y person at heart. While long-distance running is my sport of choice, when I’m not training I prefer more leisurely pursuits such as hiking/hillwalking, cycling, sightseeing, etc. When not outdoors I like to visit museums/art galleries, exhibitions, places of historical and/or social interest, etc. I love music and am a keen participant in an amateur operatic society.
The most important thing I am looking for in a person is:
Honesty. Someone who is honest with himself and with everyone else both materially and emotionally. Beyond that I am looking for a gentle, caring man who shares my outlook on life.
In my own words:
The most influential person in my life has been:
My closest friend – she is always encouraging and very supportive, and has a positive outlook on life which is infectious!
The three things which I am most thankful for:
• I value the close bonds of my immediate family – they are the most important part of my life.
• I value personal security.
• I am grateful for my health and fitness, and the opportunity and ability to pursue an active lifestyle
Three of my best life-skills are:
• Achieving personal goals
• Keeping physically fit
• Finding pleasure and contentment in simple things
The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:
Under the surface I am a pretty emotional person, my feelings tend to run very deep.
The things I can’t live without are:
• My family
• Laughter 
• Some peace and quiet – space to chill and relax.
• Freedom to be who I am without fear of ridicule
• Air, food, water – bet everyone says that!
The first thing people notice about me:
I come across to most people as being quiet and calm, and pretty level-headed.
Some additional information I want you to know:
I can come across as shy and retiring until I get to know someone – don’t let that put you off, there’s a lively, caring, fun-loving person underneath!
My interests
I typically spend my leisure time:
Keep fit – running, swimming, hiking/hillwalking, cycling, gym classes. Reading, particularly fantasy (eg Terry Pratchett, Ray Bradbury, Douglas Adams, JK Rowling) Amateur Operatics (musicals and light operetta) I enjoy learning in my spare time as well, and have recently completed an Honours degree through the OU. I enjoy the theatre, cinema, and performing arts though I don’t often have the opportunity and/or time to go as often as I would like. I love eating out, though again it’s something I don’t do often.
The last book I read and enjoyed:
I’m always reading something so it’s difficult to pick one book over all the others. I am currently reading Bram Stoker’s “Dracula” – I’ve been meaning to read it for years and have kept putting it off. I’m enjoying it so much I’m now wondering why I didn’t pick it up sooner!
According to my friends:
My friends describe me as:
• Physically Fit
• Quiet
• Loyal
• Intelligent
1
Bryce Malton
15 January 2012 11:31
I think it is basically good but there seem to ba a few contradictions which make me go “hmmmmmmm”
The “passionate about” section portrays you as competitive, gregarious and confident (operatic society) and yet in two other places you specifically mention “under the surface” “shy retiring… but underneath” – for me as a reader it doesn’t fit. Maybe you want to get across that you don’t wear your heart on your sleeve ?? I don’t know but maybe that needs changing ??
Minor point – in the “thankful” section you say you “value” personal security – not really something to be thankful for but I think a valuable piece of information – maybe move it to “things I can’t live without” ?
Hope this helps even just with thoughts, and good luck
2
Ian
15 January 2012 12:28
I think your profile has a great balance to it and wish that more of the people I have been matched with took this approach.
There seems to be plenty of information in there without revealing too much.
Clearly your pictures are not shown here but this one of my biggest irritations when I receive matches through. That and when you can’t tell who is who in a group picture because it hasn’t been labelled.
3
Chris Clark
15 January 2012 13:40
I’m not sure I’d change much. It was honestly written, without dramatics, had a nice tone, says who she’s looking for, and gives an idea of what she’s like.
4
ROBERT STEPHENS
15 January 2012 16:51
Wow! Does Rhona have any time to meet anyone and have a relationship or a friendship? She is incredibly busy and being so committed to sport – she wants to be good at whatever she does and there’s only one way to accomplish that, and that is practice, practice, practice!
Overall, probably lovely but scary!
5
Sunny
15 January 2012 17:52
Rhona has put a comma before and which doesn’t look good. I think putting ‘emotional person’ sends out a mixed message so rephrasing this would be good. In general it is ok I feel as if it needs a bit more spark or possibly something that is a bit more specific that would make you more individual.
6
Annika
15 January 2012 22:12
There don’t seem to be any comments, and that might be because this profile is nicely written, clearly well thought out and crafted. It could almost be me – we are pretty similar! I have a few pointers that are not criticisms, but could be starting points to consider:
I’d say that although Rhona sounds like a nice, gentle woman, her personality doesn’t seem to shine through.
Hiking,hillwalking and cycling are not “more leisurely pursuits”, they are active and energetic, the phrase could scare off someone who is not 100% match fit! They can be lone person activities too – perhaps Rhona could imply/say here that she would be delighted if someone would like to share these activities with her.
Rhona has a lot of things – theatre, cinema, performing arts and eating out that she “enjoys or “loves” but can’t do – why not – what is she going to change so that she can get out on a date? If it linked to the recent OU course Rhona could turn this into a doubly positive messaage: Now that I have successfully passed my OU degree, I will have a lot more fun time to go to…
What does Rhona do, that she needs “Freedom to be who I am without fear of ridicule”? Why would anyone ridicule her – is this a negative message?
“I value personal security?” For some reason I don’t like this phrase.
The sentence I like best in this profile is this one: “My closest friend – she is always encouraging and very supportive, and has a positive outlook on life which is infectious!” I think it is because only here do you hear Rhona’s voice… or maybe you can hear more warmth?
7
Colin
16 January 2012 11:43
You sound just like my kind of person,as long as the music is not indie hiphop or dance.
8
Rhona
16 January 2012 19:19
Thanks for all the feedback so far, some useful points there to consider.
I’m not quite sure how to rephrase “emotional” – it is who I am but I’m not sure how to make it more positive? And to Bryce, I can see where you’re coming from – yes I can see why that sounds like a contradiction now it’s been pointed out, I’ve never thought of it that way, thanks for the pointer.
9
Denese
17 January 2012 17:29
Rhona, you sound like a fun person to be around and I hope you meet that man who is full of energy, passion and a sense of adventure. I’m hoping the same for myself by the way. Lol!!! However, one criticism though. Under the section that says what you would like people to notice more about you I would remove that line that says “under the surface I am a pretty emotional person”. That sounds a bit scary. If you want to say that you are passionate about the things that you do etc. that sounds safer but to say you are “emotional” makes you sound unbalanced. You might scare the right guy off. I don’t want to believe that anyone is on this site thinking that they have come to offer counselling to a potential match. We would hope that the one we are matched with is well balanced, mature in their thinking and ready for a committed relationship, so be careful with your choice of words because you sound like a lovely person.
All the best!
10
Graham
17 January 2012 21:18
I think any problem with Rhona’s profile is more with the questions we’re all asked to answer than with her answers. Perhaps you should consider more relevant and interesting questions.