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Making Your eHarmony Experience Safe & Successful

Finding the kind of love that lasts a lifetime online is not only possible, but likely. eHarmony works hard to deliver you the most compatible matches possible. We believe in empowering you to make the best choices by providing guidance and support to help you discover your best qualities and those of your potential mates throughout your search.

As with anyone you meet—online or offline—your sound judgment and instincts are necessary to protect yourself from deceitful individuals. Here are the essential 'rules-of-the-road' for safely navigating online relationships.

eHarmony works hard to screen out dishonest applicants, but assessing a match's truthfulness and honesty is ultimately your responsibility. Don't ignore any facts that seem inconsistent or 'off.' Trust your instincts—if something doesn't feel right, close communication or if on a date, leave. You're in control of the entire process, so you can choose a comfortable pace for your relationship.

Watch out for someone who:

• Asks for money
• Asks inappropriate questions
• Wants to speed up the pace beyond your comfort level
• Tells stories with inconsistencies, some which may sound grandiose
• Gives vague answers to specific questions
• Urges you to compromise your principles
• Constantly blames others for troubles in his or her life
• Insists on getting overly close, overly fast.

We strongly encourage you to be cautious when sharing personal information that could reveal your identity. Take full advantage of our safe and completely anonymous Guided Communications process, and resist the urge to provide a personal email or phone number right away, no matter how strong your connection to your match may feel. Once you've given out personal information, you cannot take it back! We encourage you to continue with our Guided Communications messaging until you are ready to speak on the phone.

Phoning with the other person is a critical requirement in getting to know each other better. But before you share phone numbers, make sure you have discussed the need to respect each other's privacy, and if either of you decide to end communication in the future, you will not use the phone number as a means to pursue an unwanted relationship. For added security, try using your phone's privacy features when you call, like private number blocking, or use a prepaid disposable cellular phone that is not linked to your personal identity. Consult your phone company to see if you have similar features available.

It is important to note that eHarmony does not perform background checks on its members. It is also important to note that our optional identity verification service, which is powered by our partner RelyID, is not a background check. We rely on the honesty of our members when filling out our eHarmony Relationship Questionnaire to supply us with their date of birth, marital status, city and state of residence, occupation, educational background and a myriad of additional items. Regardless of the connection you feel with any of your matches, we encourage you to do your own research before meeting in person. This can be anything from typing your match's name into a search engine, contacting your state or local municipalities to obtain public information, or using a paid service to obtain a full background report. Above all else, use common sense. Pay attention to the details someone shares and if you find anything that doesn't seem to add up, follow your intuition and close the communication.

Meeting in person is a very exciting time. Most of all you just want to have fun and explore the level of chemistry that you share with your date, but don't let high hopes cloud your ability to exercise reasonable caution.

Do:

• Choose the time and place of your date wisely. Meet in a public place at a decent hour during which lots of people will be around. Lunch dates work especially well.
• Limit alcohol consumption or abstain entirely until you know the person better.
• Use your own transportation, even when meeting someone who lives a great distance away from you. It's never a good idea to get into someone's personal vehicle on a first date. Wherever possible, drive yourself, or take a taxi.
• Tell at least one friend or family member about your plans, and arrange to 'check-in' with them after each of the first few dates.
• Carry a fully charged mobile phone with easily accessible emergency numbers.

Don't:

• Leave beverages or personal belongings, such as purses, wallets, jackets with pockets, that may contains items that could reveal personal informations about you, such as a driver's licence, credit cards, ATM receipts, etc.
• Do not meet at your house or place of work, or give that information out until you have had a good opportunity to know the other person better.
• Go home with someone, even if it feels like everything's going great. You have not spent enough time with them enough to assess whether your safety is at risk.

While online communication can accelerate one's sense of comfort and intimacy, we can't stress enough how important it is for you to take your time getting to know your match. We encourage you to use eHarmony's anonymous Open Communication system as long as necessary to find out as much about your match as is reasonably possible.

Even though eHarmony's matching process creates extremely compatible matches, compatibility alone does not eliminate the need for real-life experience. It is vital to date and get to know each other in a deep, revealing and meaningful way by sharing a broad base of experiences together. The more experiences you share, the better your chances of avoiding hidden and sometimes unpleasant surprises. So allow time for a variety of experiences together, particularly the simple everyday routine. In cases of long-distance relationships, if possible, you should consider living in the same area for a significant time before committing to a more serious relationship. Move slowly, learn about and pay attention to the reality of your new relationship, as well as your relationship goals.

Always be respectful and treat your matches as you would want them to treat you. Not every match is going to be right for you. eHarmony is about bringing two compatible people together who have a solid foundation from which a long-term relationship would have a high probability of success. You still need to carefully consider whether this particular person is one with whom you would like to further a relationship. If you feel the need to end communication, then be honest, direct and polite. The sooner you address this determination, the better for both of you.

eHarmony works hard to screen out those who misrepresent who they are on our site, and we take member complaints seriously. If you have concerns about a particular match on eHarmony, please do not hesitate to contact us so that appropriate steps can be taken to keep eHarmony the safest and best place to start a relationship on the web. email your concerns to: matchconcerns@eharmony.com.

I hope these guidelines will help to make your eHarmony experience a success, and that you will find your soul mate as so many others before you have done.

Sincerely,
Neil Clark Warren
Founder of eHarmony.com