I must admit, I was a reluctant member at eHarmony. After more than one failed relationship followed by more than one disappointing on-line dating experience, both of which had left me sad and scared, I joined eHarmony only after being incessantly prodded by a dear friend who insisted that I was far too young to give up hope that I would meet someone with whom to spend my life. I filled out the initial questionnaire half-heartedly, and my expectations were low.
When I received an email from eHarmony stating that Steven was interested in beginning the communication process, I went through the motions. I was determined that I would do as my friend suggested and put myself out there a bit, but I was also determined that I wasn’t going to like it! He sounded nice enough in his profile, but reading it hadn’t exactly made my toes tingle. Feeling bored one Saturday afternoon, I responded to his initial query, and from there, Steven and I moved through the eHarmony stages quickly. Very shortly, we were at the “Open Communication” stage.
With email going well, we decided to move on to a phone call. That first phone call lasted 3 hours! There were no awkward silences, no false starts, and no off-limit topics. At the risk of being clichéd, it was as if we already knew one another.
The very next night, we agreed to meet for a drink to see if our email/phone connection would translate into a real life connection. As I waited for Steven, I became more and more anxious as the moments ticked by. Just as I was about to turn and make a run for it, I saw him. Then he saw me, and I was stuck. We said our hellos and began a nervous walk toward the street so that we could head to the location he’d chosen for drinks. As we were in the middle of some very comfortable and vibrant cheerful chatter, it occurred to me that I liked this man and that I just might have an enjoyable evening! And that’s the thing about Steven and me; from that first five minutes, everything about every minute with him has remained comfortable, vibrant, and cheerful.
The rest of that first night was literally like a dream. A glass of wine turned into a dinner that lasted late into the evening. We never stopped talking and smiling, so deeply lost in conversation were we that the waiter at the restaurant found it awkward to approach our table. We immediately discovered on that first night that we are incredibly alike in so many ways. Our values and views are essentially the same, our communication styles are compatible, and each of our general outlooks on life is mirrored in the other. That indefinable chemistry that I’d spent years saying I was waiting for suddenly materialized before my eyes in the form of a kind, funny, intelligent, darling man from England.
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