Why eHarmony dating works

Compatibility explained

'Opposites attract' is a phrase often used when talking about relationships, but for a long-lasting relationship, compatibility is the key. eHarmony is unique amongst online dating sites in matching you with others based on our Key Dimensions, scientifically shown to lead to happier relationships. These Key Dimensions are grouped into Vital Attributes and Core Traits.

Vital Attributes are driven by learning and experience, changing throughout your adult life, whereas Core Traits are relatively unchanging elements of your personality. These drive our Compatibility Matching System which should lead you to the long-lasting relationship you are looking for.

Core Traits

Emotional Temperament

Our Emotional Temperament not only affects how we react to situations, but our relationships with other people, and how they view us. Every-day occurences can have a real impact on our emotions, but beneath that we are also goverened by our deep-seated Emotional Temperament. Within the Key Dimensions Emotional Temperament is based on the following aspects: Self Concept, Emotional Status, Emotional Energy, Obstreperousness, and Romantic Passion.

Social Style

Some of us prefer our own company, while others choose to always be surrounded by friends. Some of us like to take the lead, while others choose to follow. Social Style is a key determiner in who you will be compatible with. Within the Key Dimensions Social Style is based on the following aspects: Character, Kindness, Dominance, Sociability, Autonomy, and Adaptability.

Cognitive Mode

Your Emotional Temperament and Social Style affect how you deal with events in your life but your Cognitive Mode has the biggest part in this, defining your relationship with others. It dictates how you feel about the world you live in. Perhaps you're always looking to be challenged, maybe you're very curious about your surroundings or maybe you use humour to deal with life events. Within the Key Dimensions Cognitive Mode is based on the following aspects: Intellect, Curiosity, Humour, and Artistic Passion.


Our thoughts about the way we behave physically in the world explain a lot about who we are. Whether you are always on the move, running from place to place, or prefer to take a physically slower pace of life, this is important in determining the kind of person you would be successfully matched with. Within the Key Dimensions Physicality is based on the following aspects: Physical Energy, Sexual Passion, Vitality & Security, Industry, and Appearance.

Vital Attributes

Relationship Skills

How much time and effort do you generally put into working on a relationship? Your Relationship Skills show who you would ideally be matched to in order to form a long-lasting and deep connection. These skills include: Communication Style, Emotion Management, Conflict Resolution.

Values and Beliefs

The way we think about the world is hugely affected by our personal value and belief systems. The eHarmony Compatibility Profile matches up couples who share similar ideas on family, religion, spirituality and politics. Shared values and beliefs provide a solid base on which to build a relationship. These attributes include: Spirituality, Family Goals, Traditionalism, Ambition, and Altruism.

Key Experiences

Our Key Experiences in life are reflected in some of the elements above, but also form a Vital Attribute of their own. Important life events shape who we are and how we interact with others - and ultimately how we form important relationships. These Key Experiences include: Family Background, Family Status, and Education.