How to tell if someone likes you

by Eharmony Editorial Team - October 15, 2013

After asking if you like the person you’re dating the next question on your mind will naturally be, do they like you? Look for these signs of attraction.

After asking if you like the person you’re dating, the next question on your mind will naturally be, do they like you back? No need to go pulling the petals off daisies though; instead look for these signs of attraction.

Many of the clues that someone’s attracted to you will be non-verbal. Experts estimate that about 80% of our communication is non-verbal, so in the world of dating being able to read the signs of attraction is a great advantage.

Open body language

First impressions on a date are important and we generally make up our mind about if we’re attracted to someone very quickly. While the first five minutes might be too soon for a date to declare their interest, reading their non-verbal cues will help you determine whether or not they like you.

Open body language includes things like uncrossed arms and legs, or having your head and shoulders up and back. According to Vanessa Van Edwards in The Body Language of Attraction (Huffington Post), even the direction a date’s feet are pointing indicate whether or not they want to engage with you or run for the fire exit.


Presuming a date stays long enough to engage in conversation with you their posture can give clues about if find you attractive. Leaning towards you, tilting their head when they’re talking to you, and making good eye contact are the most obvious signs of interest and engagement.

More subtly, notice if your date holds their bag, glass or  another object in front of them like a shield or whether they unconsciously make an effort to keep the space between you open and free of obstruction. They may stand closer than usual, invading your personal space, but if the attraction is mutual this can be good.

Flushed cheeks and lips

There are also some physical signs that someone’s attracted to you which we have no control over. The most obvious ones are flushed cheeks and lips. This happens because our heart rate increases when we like someone and the body sends extra blood to the lips and cheeks – just as it does during orgasm! This makes us more attractive to a date because it indicates we’re available and aroused.

Less obvious signs are hot palms and dilated pupils, which you may notice because if someone’s attracted to you then eye contact is usually longer than normal. Some people unconsciously twiddle with their hair, bite their lip or make other self grooming gestures which also indicate they like you.

They tell you

Words are cheap and someone could tell you they like you, but if you don’t feel that they’re sincere it will not sit right. This could be because you’re not picking up the non-verbal cues above. On the other hand someone may tell you they like you but you dismiss their interest because you don’t believe that someone like you could be attractive to someone like them. You may have to take their word for it and come to feel worthy of their attention if you like them too.

If someone says they like you, you feel the same, it feels authentic, and they want to see you again then don’t spend too much time analysing it or trying to find fault. Instead spend time getting to know them so you can discover if it’s a good match.

It’s in their kiss

As the Cher song says, the kiss will tell you more about how a person feels about you than almost anything else – especially in the early days of dating. How their kiss makes you feel will be a good way of discerning how you feel about them too. Not everyone goes for a full kiss on a first date but even a brush of the lips or a peck on the cheek can leave you tingling and longing for more.