How to write a love letter

How to write a love letter: 6 top tips

by Eharmony Editorial Team - August 17, 2018

This Romance Awareness Month, we’re championing the lost art of the love letter. Want to give it a try? Follow our top 6 tips

1. Be yourself

Love letters should be written from the heart. The worst thing you could do is copy someone else or steal lines from literature. It’s not about writing quality, it’s the quality of your feelings that counts. Try to write as you speak. If you naturally lean towards flowery or poetic language that’s fine, but don’t feel pressured to emulate T.S. Eliot. Craft sentences that sound like you, even if that means they’re more direct and factual. We promise authentic words will mean more than any colourful metaphor could.

2. Be honest

If you’re not truthful with your writing, your love letter will be meaningless. Resist the temptation to write something just because you know it’s something the other would like to hear. You should never set out to manipulate or charm someone with your letter, only to tell them how you really feel. Don’t forget that your letter could be cherished for years to come so try not to mislead or sugar-coat.

3. Lean into the cheese

You’re writing a love letter – it should be cheesy! Fight through your embarrassment. Nobody will judge you for pouring your heart out in a letter; in fact, it’s expected. Don’t hold back. Tell them how they’ve changed your life, how your heart skips a beat whenever you see them, and you couldn’t imagine a future without them by your side. Perhaps even show your vulnerable side, an embarrassing – yet endearing – confession that you wouldn’t share with anyone else. This is your opportunity to let it all out and say everything you struggle to say out loud.

4. Follow a format

While your love letter should come from the heart, there is a standard format that you can follow to make it easy. If you’re struggling to start, try beginning by stating your purpose. Maybe you’ve been thinking about them and want to let them know how you feel? Or you’ve been away for a few days and realise the depth of your feelings? Follow that up by recalling a romantic memory you’ve bot shared – the more detailed, the better. Don’t forget to write about what you love about them and how they’ve changed you, and end by reaffirming your love.

5. Don’t worry about length

Your love letter doesn’t have to be an essay. Don’t feel you have to recount every romantic memory you’ve ever shared or every thought you’ve had about your future together. Save somethings for the next letter. A note works just as well if the sentiment is clear. You can say a lot with very few words when those words come from the heart. This is especially true if you naturally shy away from public displays of affection or verbal declarations of love. Consider leaving a sweet post-it in their wallet or sending them a postcard whenever you’re away for work.

6. Just do it

The most important thing to do when writing a love letter is to write it! It’s easy to get caught up trying to find the perfect phrase or the ideal length. Even overcoming the embarrassment and being open can be tough. So, be kind to yourself. Know that by even trying to write a love letter, you’re showing someone how much you care. It will say more than a throwaway text or call could ever convey.