10 things you should never say during a break-up

by Eharmony Editorial Team - November 12, 2018

Break-ups are tough, but don’t make them even tougher by a sudden onset of foot-in-mouth disease. Remember that you’re both hurting, and you’ll almost certainly regret anything you say in spite.

Breaking up is difficult enough without leaving your soon-to-be-ex partner with a soundbite that will forever define a failed romance. The last words of any relationship can linger long in the memory, so here’s our list of definite don’ts for the trickiest conversation.

1.       “We should stay friends” 

This is a terrible idea. Three years down the line, when you’re both happy with other people, perhaps. But right now things are just too raw.

See also: “I hope things won’t be awkward.” They will.

2.        “I never loved you” 

Drama llamas are not welcome at a break-up. You’re hurting, but there’s no need to make things worse.  Be honest with yourself: the reason you’re hurting is precisely because you loved him/her.

Related: “I wish I never met you.”  You know this isn’t true, even though you might feel it right now.

3.       “What can I do to change your mind?” 

Begging is undignified. When you look back at this moment you’ll cringe, trust us. Their decision has been made so you should respect it.

Related: “Can we please give it another go. Please?”

4.        “I hope you die alone” 

Ouch. You might be thinking this (though we know you don’t really mean it) but the best road to take is the high road. Curses and threats make you look like a crazy person and will leave your ex thinking they’re well shot of you.

Related: “You’ll be sorry.”

5.       “It’s not you, it’s me” 

No one believes this, even if you really do mean it. Clichés are not welcome in this situation.

Related: “You deserve better.” Self-deprecation comes off as patronising and insincere.

6.       “Can I still live here?” 

You shouldn’t want to do this. It can be hard, especially if you’ve purchased a place together, but your only thoughts should be how you can amicably move out.

Related: “Can I keep your House box set/the sofa/the cat.” No. Now is not the time to be discussing this.

7.       “My parents never liked you” 

Don’t make a bad situation worse – keep things classy and end the conversation as soon as you can.

Related: “You’re a terrible kisser.”

8.       “I need space” 

This makes it sound like there still might be the chance for reconciliation, which isn’t fair on the other person. Be honest and clear.

Related: “I don’t know what I want.”  You do, deep down, you just don’t know how to say it.

9.       “I love you, I’m just not in love with you” 

What does this even mean? We don’t know and your soon to be ex partner certainly won’t. Keep things clear – see point #8.

10.   “Will you marry me?” 

Never propose out of desperation. Ever.

Related: “Will you move in with me?” If you don’t already live together this isn’t going to save your relationship.