Couple in happy relationship

5 secrets of a happy relationship

by Eharmony Editorial Team - November 23, 2016

Ever wondered what goes into making a long-lasting relationship, a happy relationship? Elisa Mclean shares her top five secrets for success

What’s the secret to having a happy relationship? Is it compromising on your Netflix blinge to allow for a series only one of you likes? Bringing the other person a cup of tea in bed every morning? It’s not surprising that almost every single couple has a different answer to this question, because every relationship is different. However, there are certain factors that’ll always help your relationship to succeed. We’ve compiled five of the most important…


Whether you’re being open with each other about what you really want, or make sure you tell each other about your day after work, communication is central in a happy relationship. Over time, it can become so easy to assume that you know everything about the other person. We often stop asking all the exploratory questions we did when we first started dating, ultimately hindering the relationship’s growth. Making time for communication, however short, will help you learn more about each other.

One tip is to try and act as though you’re on a first or second date with your partner. It’s not role play exactly, but simply making an effort to ask you other half those date-like questions, like ‘if you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be?’ ‘You’ve just won the lottery, what will you spend it on?’ Fun questions like these take us away from our day-to-day activities and can really help to keep communication channels open.


Many people say that, no matter what someone looks like, if they’re funny, they’re attractive. It’s probably the reason for all of those ‘weird’ crushes. And for many of us, it’s the private jokes that we share with our partners that really keep the passion alive. Real life needs laughter to make it enjoyable, and real relationships rely on a shared sense of humour to help them go the distance. If you can’t laugh together, you can’t take on life’s ups and downs as a couple. So, if it’s been a while since you both found yourselves in fits of giggles, it might be time to really focus on finding your funny side again.


When trust is missing in a relationship, ugly emotions like jealousy, paranoia and suspicion take over. Trust isn’t just about fidelity, it’s about everything. Trusting your partner to be there for you if you’re going through a hard time; trusting them to understand when you’re struggling with life, and trusting them with your innermost demons and thoughts. We choose to share our most intimate selves with our partners, so we need to trust them with that raw, innermost part of ourselves to have a happy relationship.


Lots of couples are like two peas in a pod, experiencing life together and sharing each and every experience life throws at them. But truly long-lasting relationships require a certain level of independence from each partner to stop things imploding. Spending a lot of time together is great, but sometimes we can become so reliant on that other person that we lose part of ourselves. Relying on another person to keep us happy is always a recipe for disaster. Keep things fresh by seeking out separate experiences. Start to grow individually and you’ll grow as a couple too.

Hard work

No one in a long-term relationship has ever spoken about its success without mentioning hard work. Although many people say that real love shouldn’t be hard work, that’s not strictly true in the long run. Yes, if you have to work hard in your first few dates, then you’re probably not compatible with your date. But further down the line, you will hit tough patches, you’ll grow together and sometimes further apart as well. The secret to surviving all that all life throws at you is understanding that things will be hard sometimes. Having the compassion, love and commitment to make a success of your relationship is important, as is working to understand your partner. If you’re strong, you can get through most things together. When the going gets tough, if you’re both willing to let go of your ego, you can use the tough times to bring you closer together.