8 little things to do to make your partner feel loved

by Fran Creffield - December 18, 2013

It’s the time of year to think of others, especially your significant other – a time to show how much they mean to you and how much you love them.

You may forget what people say but you never forget how they make you feel. Doing things for your partner to make them feel loved is a vital part of developing intimacy and connection. Actions speak louder than words so even if you’re not great at saying romantic things you can ‘show’ your partner how you feel about them through these little gestures.

1.      A cup of tea

According to research the number one gesture that makes people feel loved and cared for is having a cup of tea (or coffee) made for them, especially if it’s brought to them in bed in the morning. A good cuppa, made just the way you like it, brought to you with a smile by someone you love is the highlight of many people’s day – so, go on, put the kettle on!

2.      Stop whatever you are doing and welcome them

It’s easy to forget to do this if you’re right in the middle of something, but taking a few moments away from what you’re doing to warmly welcome your partner home is really important. We all want to be noticed and to feel our presence makes a difference but it’s all too easy for long-term partners to become like part of the furniture – familiar but not really ‘seen’ – often until they’re not there anymore.

3.      Make a public declaration

Once in a while, when you are genuinely moved to do so, it’s nice to say something publicly about your partner. Big them up; tell your mates how happy you are; compliment their cooking or just announce that you feel very lucky to have them in your life. It’s easier than ever to make a public declaration of affection on social media just don’t do it too often or it loses its impact.

4.      Write a love note

You may send loving texts and emails all the time but have you ever sent your partner a real love letter? It doesn’t have to be anything too elaborate or long but a hand written note, maybe thanking them for something they did or said, left somewhere that they’ll find when you’re not around, is sure to be kept much longer than any digital communication.

5.      A little bit of pampering goes a long way

Running a bath, giving a massage, making their favourite dinner, or giving a foot rub are all special treats which show that you know when they’re tired and in need of a little TLC.

6.      Do something you don’t like doing because you know it’s important to them

While we don’t advocate you always putting your own needs to one side for the sake of your partner it’s important to be prepared to sometimes. Maybe it’s going to a football match or a dreaded office party; it could be putting on a brave face and dealing with difficult relatives or traipsing around the shops for hours because your partner wants you to help them choose new shoes. Whatever it is, the key is to do it with good grace and do it for them, without complaint.

7.      Have a ‘no screens’ evening and give them your full attention

One of the most common complaints from modern couples is that their partner is always on their phone or mobile device and never really present when they’re with them. In extreme cases they may be watching TV while on a laptop and connecting with friends on their mobile phone – they may be in the same room as you but they are not really with you. Turn all screens off at least one evening a week and really be present for them.

8.      Have a date night

Even if you’ve been together for years a regular date night is a perfect way to show that you’re still as keen on each other as you were in the early days. Make an effort with your appearance and choice of venue and show your partner they deserve to be treated well because you love and value them.