Reasons to get married

Five bad reasons to get married

by Eharmony Editorial Team - October 5, 2009

Tying the knot for the wrong reasons can quickly turn a relationship sour. Find out the five motives that spell marital doom.

Love should obviously be the main reason to get married but it’s amazing how many people let other factors determine their decision. So before agreeing to lifelong commitment with your partner, make sure it’s not for any of these five reasons…

1. You’ve reached the ‘marriage age’

Many people believe there’s a certain age that you should be married by. Society, friends, family can all make you think that your time is running out. But in reality, there’s no cut-off age. These days, it’s perfectly normal to marry at any age – or not get married at all! If friends and family start asking awkward questions or dropping hints, ignore them. Only take the next step when you both feel ready.

2. To save your relationship

Some people believe that marriage will provide a solution to any problems in a relationship. If your girlfriend or boyfriend goes out every night until the early hours and has no routine in their life, you might think that marriage will tame them. This is dangerously misguided. A wedding ring will not miraculously transform anybody into a homebody with a five year plan; in fact, it’s more likely to enhance any difficulties you currently face.

3. Financial pressure

Never let the prospect of financial rescue influence your decision! While pooling both of your incomes will likely make you better off, marriages centred on money are destined for trouble. Take time to consider your reasons for getting married – it’s easy to convince yourself that your intentions are purer than they are in reality. Don’t let pound signs sway you.

4. You’re trying to tie them down

Some view marriage as a tool to keep the person they love close. But if your partner has a wandering eye, or is hesitant to commit, marriage won’t change things. If you’re nervous that your partner might leave you, then you shouldn’t be with them at all. You can’t hang on to someone who doesn’t want to stay. Marriage won’t solve your problems.

5. You feel you owe it to your partner

You should never allow yourself to be stuck with someone through guilt. If you have a wonderful partner who’s loving, caring and considerate, you may think they deserve marriage, whether you want it or not. It’s hard to end a relationship with someone you care for but don’t truly love. You won’t be able to make them happy if you’re not happy. By ending it, you’ll be doing you both a favour.

However obvious it may sound, marriage should be about love and a conscious decision to commit to your partner. It’s easy to let other factors influence your decision, but any marriage based on bad reasons is destined for disaster. Question your own motives and make sure your reasons are right.