Is your relationship moving too fast?
Are you rushing into something that isn’t right? Jo Middleton offers up some practical advice to help you decide if your relationship is moving too fast
Meeting a new partner is an exciting time; it can be easy to get caught up in the romance of it all and throw yourself into it, no holds barred. But, how do you know if you’re moving too fast?
Well, there are two key factors to consider when asking yourself this question. Firstly, you need to accept that you may not be in the best position to judge. Looking on as an outsider, we can easily spot when a friend is moving too quickly in a new relationship, but when we’re in it, flushed with excitement, it can be hard to be objective. Simply acknowledging this fact is a good first step.
Secondly, you need to ask yourself whether there is a right or wrong timescale to follow or not? What is deemed too fast for one couple might be the perfect speed for you, or vice versa.
What feels right for you?
Given how personal the start of a new relationship is, one of the most important things that you can do is to trust your instincts and be aware of what feels right for you. A lot of people say that falling in love just feels right – ‘when you know, you know’. While this sounds unhelpful, there’s a lot of truth to it. If something doesn’t feel quite right, even if you can’t put your finger on why, it could be that things are moving too fast for you.
Have you lost touch with your friends and family?
It’s natural that when you first meet someone new you want to spend as much time with them as possible, but it’s important to remember that you long-term friends and family need your attention too. It you find that you’ve lost touch with what’s happening in their lives, then it might be time to slow down and reconnect.
Are you neglecting your hobbies?
What do you really enjoy? Do you love foreign films or like to spend every weekend hiking? Chances are that these passions are a big part of the reason why your new partner was attracted to you in the first place, so if you give up your hobbies and interests for the sake of someone else, you’re doing both of you a disservice. Not only will you start to lose your own sense of self, but you’ll lose that special something that makes you interesting. You need to have things to talk about after all!
Is your partner on a pedestal?
When you enter into a new relationship, trust, love and respect need to be built up over time. Never forget that until recently this person was, most likely, a stranger, and you need to prove yourselves to each other. If you find that you’re putting your partner on a pedestal before you even really know them, then chances are that your judgement is a little off and you’re moving too fast.
Realising that your relationship is moving too fast needn’t be negative. Tell your partner how you feel and make changes to ensure that you got the distance.