10 Top Hollywood Dating Myths Debunked
We’ve all seen the slew of romantic films that tell us love will find us, or that we should do whatever it takes, no matter how conniving or illegal, if it means we’ll have our love reciprocated by the person of our dreams. But what would happen if we applied these principles in real world dating?
To celebrate the release of modern day rom-com What If, starring Daniel Radcliffe and Zoe Kazan, in UK cinemas on August 20, 2014, we have debunked 10 of the most popular Hollywood romance myths.
We’re also offering the chance to WIN a holiday for two with our What If and eHarmony Hollywood Moments competition! Simply click here to find out more.
What If focuses on friendships and romantic relationships between men and women, which are not always straight forward, though other films may have you believe different…
1. Grand gestures can be last-minute and always pay off!
Hollywood has taught us that flying across the world or planning a huge gesture in a public place are simple things that can be planned mere days, if not hours ahead of time. And of course, they’ll always work! In reality, booking flights and creating a flash mob in Time Square would require a bit more planning, and a lot more resource. There’s also a chance that you might be rejected despite your efforts… A quiet evening together or a surprise Skype call if you’re long-distance can actually be a great not-so-grand gesture and removes possible pressure and embarrassment!
2. There are no consequences when you’re in love
Somehow you are able to break numerous traffic laws, run through airport security or highjack any mode of transportation if it means getting to your loved one to tell them how you truly feel. In the real world, however, you’d be facing fines and jail time. While you may think the drama is romantic, maybe you should consider revealing your feelings in a more timely manner, just for safety.
3.”All is fair in love and war”
Rom-coms and rom-drams tell us that trying to break up a couple, fighting someone, or manipulating someone to feel a certain way about you are all things that will always benefit you, even if the person you’re after realises this. In actual fact, the person you’re after might not be so happy to hear that you’re messed with their life that way and probably won’t accept it just because you say “I love you.” In instances like these, honesty is the best policy.
4. If they are with someone else, that person is all wrong for them
One of the biggest myths is that if the person you like is in any kind of romantic relationship, the person they’re with is horrible and definitely not suited for them. This could be true in some cases, but critical thinking would probably bring you to the conclusion that they’ve gotten to know their partner, flaws and all, and still decided to be with them. While you have a right to tell them how you feel, you don’t have the right to meddle in their relationship.
5. Overcoming something will always bring you love
We see this myth in Hollywood in a few different ways – romantic dramas where two people are forced through hardship or films in which the protagonist needs to change or develop something about themselves typically end with a newfound romance. Sure, tackling an issue together can display how well you work together as a team, how well you’re able to get along and how close you are. But while you’ve built a closer relationship, it could end up a friendship rather than romance. Likewise, even if you change some element of your life in a positive way, it won’t necessarily build a romantic relationship with the person you like. It may, however, make you more confident and help you meet someone else!
6. If it’s meant to be, it will be
Hollywood loves to tell us that no matter how passive we are, the person of our dreams will come to us, no matter many hurdles stand in their way. Chances are, if you’re not putting yourself out there, you won’t meet anyone. People notice more than just your physical presence, so showing off your sense of humour or your lively personality will bring way more results than sitting quietly.
7. Changing your appearance will land you the person you liked at school
The timeless myth is that switching out your turtleneck for a vest top will suddenly spark interest in that person you have a crush on at age 15, or if you take off your glasses you are suddenly the most attractive person in the room. If you want an actual, lasting relationship, you need to find someone who likes you for you!
8. Love at first sight
An obvious classic, the love at first sight myth is one of the most ridiculous. Just because you lock eyes with an attractive person in a bar does not mean you’re in love, or that you would even get along with them! There’s a reason that you should get to know the person you’re attracted to before making any commitment – you may love their looks but not their personality.
9. Happily ever after…
And credits! We see films end as a couple have built the perfect relationship, set to last for eternity. We don’t see the hardships or the difficulties. All relationships need work and can be hard at times, but if you know this going in it can lead to a (mostly) happily ever after!
10. You always need to end up with someone
Just because you chased after one person and made them the focus of your attention doesn’t mean they’re the only one. In other words – don’t settle! You should be confident that you’re with the right person, and sometimes they can be a bit harder to find.
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