3 ways to boost your confidence before a date


Dating confidence

While the initial excitement of a first date feels great, it often doesn’t take long for nerves to set in. Here are three ways you can boost your confidence before a big date

It might be reassuring to know that fear of the unknown is a part of being human. And when it comes to boosting your confidence ahead of a date it isn’t about quashing nerves, it’s about managing them.

1. Start seeing things differently

Anyone familiar with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) will know that it’s possible to change your view of the world simply by modifying the way you think and behave. In a nutshell, CBT works by breaking negative cycles of thought, actions, feelings, and physical sensations.

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Try not to let things that happen before your date affect your perception of how the date will go. It’s all too easy to let a minor dispute with a work colleague get you down, leading to a negative thought spiral that you’re a bad person and your date won’t like you. In turn, this may make you feel sick and lethargic. CBT advises us to take a step back and look objectively at the situation. Is it more likely that your colleague has had a stressful day or is having problems at home?

It’s also important to resist creating a narrative based on negative interpretations of past events. If you’re lacking in confidence, it’s easy to ruminate on old events and use them to justify your future predictions. It may sound cliché but the past really is the past – the future is whatever you make it.

2. Dissipate energy

Adrenaline has been helping humans for millennia. It helped us escape the clutches of hungry sabre-tooth tigers and win gold medals in the 100m hurdles. Unfortunately, for those lacking confidence before a date, having a physiological response that tells them to either fight or flee isn’t so useful!

The best thing to do is to try and get rid of some of that extra energy with gentle exercise. Try going for a walk or a swim. Or do a little housework – it’ll be one of the few times you’ll be happy to hoover.

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As the date gets closer, stay calm by taking deep breaths. Breathe in through your nose, hold it for four seconds and then exhale through your mouth. Deep breathing like this will lower your heart rate, blood pressure, and levels of perspiration.

You could also try clenching both your hands into fists and then moving your arms away from your body, extending your fingers as you move. Repeat a few times while deep breathing.

3. Talk to your friends

Talking with the people that make you feel good is a great way to boost your confidence. Even listening to someone else’s problems can provide a useful distraction. Be sure to discuss any date-specifics you’re concerned about – your friends are sure to make you feel more confident about them.

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