5 Pieces of Dirty Laundry You Shouldn’t Bring Up on a First Date
It’s important to be open and honest with a date when you’re looking for a meaningful connection. But when does sharing become oversharing? We asked dating expert Sasha Wowesny for her no-go topics for a first date.
Look online and Twitter is awash with hundreds of people claiming that doing laundry makes them feel like a domestic god or goddess. Do we spend so much of our time in the modern world that simple things like getting stains out of shirts and keeping a clean home makes us feel god-like? As with Lazarus, we are raising our clothes from a dirty death to be as good as new.
As first-date nerves kick in, most of us tend to reveal our dirty laundry to fill the gaps in those awkward silences. When we reveal too much about ourselves on a first date it has the opposite of the desired effect – instead of showing your true colours, the reality is you may be turning your date away by pushing your problems on to them, or over-sharing on past experiences that may make them feel uncomfortable.
Here are my five pieces of dirty laundry you shouldn’t bring up on a first date:
- The ex-files: Under no circumstances should you break out the ex-file on a first date. First dates are for learning about each other not about your past lovers. This is especially true for relationships that ended badly – if you say your ex is stupid/crazy/idiotic it won’t give your date much hope for the future. Instead, try to talk about what you’d like to do in the future, rather than mistakes or heartbreaks you’ve had in the past.
- Been there, done that: Remember that amazing night you spent with that fantastic hot backpacker in a remote hot-tub under the stars on an island off Thailand two years ago? Good, now keep it to yourself. Sure, you want to show that you’re experienced and fun, but your date doesn’t want to hear about you being with someone else. Even though the intention of your anecdote was just for conversation, it may make your date feel pressured in to doing something they’re not comfortable with. Instead, talk about interesting places you’ve been.
- Soap operas: Whether it’s a dispute between you and a friend, or there is an office scandal that you’re a part of, a first date is neither the time nor place to talk about it. Not least because your date will have no idea who you are referencing, but the majority of us are looking for drama-free relationships. When you talk about feuds and disputes on a first date, your date is probably thinking “How long do I have to hang around for before I can leave?”
- A family affair: Family problems, from your parents’ messy divorce to your brother’s weird fetishes, are all first date dirty laundry no-nos. We want to get to know who you are as a person before we are introduced to that crazy uncle everyone avoids at Christmas parties. Everyone’s family has their own troubles, leave it for another time when you both get to know each other better.
- Secrets: Secrets of any kind should be kept to zero on your first date. If there are things you are not even willing to tell your closest friends, then you shouldn’t be telling your date on your first time out. In a world where social media knows no bounds, the last thing you want is for your date to air your dirty laundry out for everyone else to see!
Conversation is tricky on a first date, but be sure to stay cool, calm, and have plenty of topics to chat about to avoid those awkward silences. Think of questions to ask your date so that you can find out if they are the right match for you. This way you’re not trapped into feeling the need to talk about that messy stag do in Prague to liven the conversation, which may end up painting you in an unexpectedly bad light. Just like you wouldn’t like to have house guests see your dirty laundry lying on the floor, you don’t want your first date to be a tell-all autobiography. While we’re on the subject of dirty laundry, make sure you don’t wear any! Keep everything stain free with Currys PC World washing machines.
If this article gave you the confidence to find your match, try eHarmony today!Join Now