7 single clichés – and why they’re rubbish

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When you’re single you can end up drowning in clichés. You’re heard them all, from the one about there being lots more fish in the sea, to the one about how you’re just not ready to find someone.  Cliches are clichés for a reason and they’re not always without basis, but a lot of the time they come up because your married friend just doesn’t know what to say when you tell him or her that you’ve been on yet another crappy date.

Here are our top 7 overused, unappreciated clichés said to singles.

1. “You’re just too picky”

There’s a relatively fine line between not wanting to settle and being picky. As long as you can hone your deal breakers and makers to a list of about 10 each, then you’re NOT picky and you shouldn’t stand for anyone saying you are.

However, if you’re looking for a man who is an exact replica of your ex, or a woman who’s specifically 5’10” with blonde streaked hair, a passion for F2 racing and a Top Cat tattoo on her ankle then you might want to cast your net a bit wider.

2. “Just wait, your time will come.”

We particularly hate this cliché because it suggests that you are at the mercy of fate, and that you should sit around waiting for your perfect partner to fall into your lap.

We can see how this might actually be comforting to some single people, but ultimately we believe in going out there and grabbing life by the throat. No one else is going to do it for you.

3. You’re too unattractive

This one isn’t in speech marks for a very good reason – this is (hopefully!) not something someone would actually say to you. However, it’s possibly it’s something you’d say to yourself (although, please don’t!)

Attractiveness is very subjective, and a lot of it is rooted in your own emotions. Guess what, people in relationships feel unattractive too sometimes. Maybe they’ve had a bad hair day, or their partner just doesn’t seem to appreciate them anymore. Remember that there really is someone for everyone, and what one person finds unattractive, another person will find incredibly sexy.

4. “You need more time”

This particular statement suggests you just haven’t grown enough emotionally to be in a relationship. The problem with this is that most people learn and grow emotionally by being in a relationship. We bet you know at least a couple of immature friends who’ve been turned into sensible, mortgage+babies types by partnering up.

5. “Stop trying so hard.

There’s a saying that a lot of people wheel out to single friends: “Once you stop looking you’ll meet someone.”

We say, what a load of rubbish. Sure, some people have probably met their partners when they specifically weren’t looking, but there are lots of others who have been set up, gone to bars, gone online, or gone to a singles night and found someone special.

6. “You need to try harder.”

Of course, ‘advice’ can go the other way and you can find someone telling you that you’re just not trying hard enough. We know that dating takes effort, but what this suggests is that the fact that you’re single is somehow a failing of yours.  At eHarmony we seriously believe that you should only be in a relationship with someone who makes you feel great. Therefore, if being single makes you happy, then you shouldn’t be forced to ‘try harder’ and end up in a dead-end relationship.

7. “Embrace your freedom!”

According to this, freedom is good and commitment is bad. The problem with this is that it will usually be said by someone in a relationship (so is therefore unbelievable) and said to someone who actively wants to embrace commitment. Being single can be fantastic, but when you think you’re ready to meet someone then being told to enjoy your singledom is just frustrating. Every state has its pros and cons, you should embrace the one you’re in!


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