7 Ways to Instantly Boost Your Dating Confidence

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Why is it that some people just seem to have it? They ooze confidence without being arrogant, they seem to be so at ease with themselves. Think of some of the people in your life that are like this.


It needn’t necessarily be about dating, it could be in their work life, social life, as a parent or a friend. You’ll find them easy to be around, you’ll feel great when you’ve spent time in their company. By watching them and identifying what it is they do you can learn and adapt for your own use…. fake it til you make it. It works!

Here are some of the traits of confident people:

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Smile and make eye contact

It’s not hard to do! Stand in front of the mirror and try out this exercise. Watch what happens to your face when you run negative thoughts through your head. notice what happens to your face. Is your brow furrowed, does your mouth turn down at the corners? Now think of something happy or funny and notice the difference. Now let’s focus on your eyes. This is another thing confident people do, they make eye contact. Not weird staring eye contact simply that they are happy to hold a gaze, to talk to someone and look directly at them. It’s a powerful thing. Try it out walking down the street. Make eye contact and smile. You just might make someone’s day!

Walk with their head up

Try this exercise. Walk looking at the pavement ahead of you or down at your feet. Is this your usual way of walking? It might be as a way to remain invisible and stay in the safety of your bubble. Now focus ahead and walk looking slightly up. It’s amazing the different perspective you get. We notice the trees in the park, the cars and the people ahead of us. It’s such a totally different experience. Vision becomes outward looking and this what I’ve noticed confident people do.

Wear clothes they feel good in

They don’t have to be the most stylish or expensive or even suit them totally. Yet there is something about the awareness that confident people have. They know they look good in something and it shows. We gain confidence when we can look in the mirror and acknowledge that the jeans and T-shirt or the dress really does look good on us. You don’t need to spend a fortune either, perhaps go with a friend if you’re not confident about choosing something that suits you. You want to get that feeling of, “Hell yeah!”

Listen to others

There is something magical about really being listened to and this is something that confident people know so well. They know the right questions to ask to allow the person they are talking to to blossom and feel heard. A confident person knows it’s not about them, they can give the other person the floor and talk about themselves or whatever the topic of conversation is. They don’t feel threatened if they aren’t the centre of attention.

Kind to themselves in their language

You’ll never hear a confident person judging themselves in their language, running themselves down or turning down compliments. They just don’t do that. They realise how toxic is is when we put ourselves down all the time. Today decide to simply become aware of the language you use about yourself.

Look after themselves

They respect themselves, their body and their emotions. They know what to do to look after themselves and how to live life well. They are unlikely to continue relationships that are unsatisfying or go against their values. They have the confidence to know to prioritise their needs.

They are authentic

They won’t be making up stories in their profile simply to please others. They will tend to be open and positive in their outlook. A confident person will not be badmouthing their ex or all the bad dates they’ve had. They are more than likely to find online dating a positive experience.

Take a look at your dating profile and give it an honest review. Are you being authentic? Are you portraying yourself in a positive and confident light? Are you smiling and being open in your photographs. If you’d like a second opinion head over to Irresistible Dating and see how we can help.

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Following a divorce, Rebecca found herself single and 45 years old in 2008. She hadn’t dated since she was 24 and found that much had changed. In need of male company, she decided to venture into the brave new world of online dating.

Rebecca is co-founder of Irresistible Dating which she set up with award winning dating photographer Saskia Nelson. Their expertise lies in guiding clients into the right mindset for dating success as well as helping them create a dating profile that stands out.

She is a success coach working with women to navigate the transition of midlife. She has appeared on BBC Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour, BBC London and writes  regularly for The Huffington Post.

Rebecca lives in Hertfordshire and enjoys being surrounded by her children, spending time with her guy (who she met online) and celebrating life after 50. You can find Rebecca getting social on Twitter and Facebook


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