Boosting Charisma and Making a Great First Impression


Darren from shares some tips on boosting your charisma to help make sure your dating life is a successful one!

Everyone wants to put the best version of themselves forward and never is that more true than when online dating. Making a good first impression can be the difference between setting up a date and never speaking to a person again.

Charisma, translated as “compelling attractiveness or charm that can inspire devotion in others” is an elusive characteristic that you usually have or haven’t got. But with years of research into identifying charismatic traits, measuring actually how charismatic someone is, is now easier than it’s ever been.

At its core, the fundamental ‘parts’ that make up charisma can be broken down into two categories, emotional & social – below we have outlined a few key aspects of each that will help improve your charisma both before and during meeting someone. Working on these can greatly improve your overall appeal and also your outlook on life.



  • Empathy – working on your empathy will allow you to connect with more people. Empathetic people in general are more attractive and coming across as a caring individual will help greatly to improve you charisma. Not just this but you will help to understand people at greater depth and be more content and less stressful.
  • Enthusiasm – we all know that one person who is crazy happy and so enthused by pretty much anything. Becoming more enthusiastic about life in general can be a really attractive trait. Positivity generally rubs off on people and no one wants to talk or be around someone who is always depressed. Being enthusiastic encapsulates what it means to have charisma
  • Confidence – this is an obvious one but in general speaking with confidence and decisiveness is a must. Showing you are comfortable with who you are, what you are saying and showing others you can make decisions will improve your charisma. Try talking about your passion & dreams in life to help exude confidence in what you are saying; this comes back to showing a zest for life and being an interesting person to talk to.



  • Good listener – this is mentioned in all research and advice pieces I read but that’s because it is that important. If you can make your date (or buddy) feel like they are the only person in the room, then chances are they will enjoy talking to you. DITCH THE PHONE – nothing says, ‘what you are saying isn’t important’ more than checking your phone. Bonus points for totally ignoring your phone if it starts ringing. Make sure you are attentive to your date. Comment and actually hear what they are saying, bring up references to previous conversations and show a genuine interest to create deeper connections.
  • Eye contact – this will make you an automatic good listener, but maintain eye contact shows that you are focused on them and them only. Chances are you wouldn’t want to spend time with someone who has wandering eyes. Think about it, Charisma “charm that can inspire devotion in others”. Does looking around at others inspires that devotion or do the complete opposite?
  • Connect with others – this goes hand in hand with empathy but socially always being polite to others will get you massive brownie points. Especially in dating, the other person is basically judging you; will they want to spend another day, a night, and their life with you? Show respect and be courteous and automatically you have shown you are a kind person, with a heart and it also shows you can connect with people, which again exudes charisma.
  • Self-confidence – I wanted to put this in both camps because there are things you can do socially that show confidence. As well as eye contact that is mentioned above, making sure the basics are covered; smiling, dressing well, being assertive/decisive (in moderation) and generally being a confident speaker will show you off in the best light and ensure you maximise your charisma card!


 eHarmony & DatingPriceguide teamed up to produce the ‘beginners guide to online dating’ featuring some of the UKs best dating experts. 

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