Breadcrumbing: the latest dating trend

by Charly Lester - January 13, 2017

Ever had that date that never quite disappears? Dating expert Charly Lester explores the latest disposable dating trend, breadcrumbing

You might be forgiven for thinking that breadcrumbing is just a technique used on Bake Off. However, this year, it’s become the newest term in the ever-increasing dating dictionary. First there was cuffing, then ghosting, zombieing, and now, breadcrumbing.

So what does it mean?

While the phrase may be new, it’s unlikely that the concept is.

A breadcrummer is someone that throws you dating bread crumbs; texts, the occasional call or likes on Facebook and Instagram.

They’re someone who’s not ready to commit, but want to keep you on stand-by, to keep their options open. So, he or she will get in contact with you every now and again, get your hopes up, but then never actually follow through and begin a real relationship with you.

Breadcrumbers come in different shapes and sizes:

Breadcrumming from the beginning

You meet online but never actually get to the stage of meeting up. Maybe they’re not ready to date, maybe they’re already in a relationship and just enjoy the attention or maybe they don’t really know what they want. Whatever the reason, breadcrumers always behave the same way: sending you an occasional message, piquing your interest, and then disappearing again before committing to a meet up.

Second date breadcrumbers

You have a reasonable first date and stay in touch afterwards, but that second date just never materializes. Rather than cut ties and acknowledge that there wasn’t enough of a spark to go out a second time, your date keeps the conversation going. He or she never asks you out again, but every time you assume there’s no future for the two of you, you get another message.

Social media breadcrumming

Arguably the laziest variety of breadcrumber, the social media breadcrumber won’t send you actual messages. Instead he or she will simply click ‘like’ on the occasional social media image, reminding you that they exist, and then leaving you to consider the implications of their two-second gesture.

Long-term breadcrumbers

Long-term breadcrumbers are often people that you’ve gone on a few dates with. Things cool off, they go quiet and you start to forget that they even exist. And then, out of the blue, they throw a breadcrumb.

It could be a text, a Facebook post or a drunken phone call, but whatever the medium, the underlying message is always the same. You aren’t important enough for them to have stayed in touch properly and pursued a relationship with you. But they enjoy your attention and, at this moment in time, no-one else is giving them any!

Sadly, as social media use widens and it becomes easier and easier to contact people, breadcrumbing is likely to stick around. However, the easiest way to deal with it is to nip it in the bud. If someone gets in touch with you and clearly has no intention of meeting up with you any time soon, just stop replying. All the breadcrumber wants is your attention, and in that respect, you’re completely in control.