Revealed: Her five biggest dating fears

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Every woman has concerns – spoken or not – about getting into a new relationship. Don’t get us wrong, fears can be incredibly helpful. They can tell you when you should be wary of someone – your gut giving you a big clue when to back off. But fears can also grow from small niggles into big problems that sabotage your dating life. Here’s an insight into the female mind that might just come in useful when you enter the dating game.

Fear 1: De ja vu
If her last relationship ended badly, a woman is quite likely to worry that her new partner will turn into her ex. These worries may be unfounded, but that doesn’t mean they won’t surface. As we get older, baggage is hard to avoid. Too many women think that jumping into a new relationship will erase the memory of their old one. Chances are, it’ll just make the problem worse.

Fear 2: Not being perfect
Whether it’s the snide comments of a past boyfriend or society’s obsession with perfect bodies, many women feel that they have to live up to a vision of perfection. It might be that they think their new love expects them to be skinny, or have a large chest, or be amazingly glamorous. Whatever their insecurities about their body, the reality is that they may feel insecure, jealous or downright miserable.

Any woman in this position may also think their partner is looking at women she considers to be younger or prettier. As a partner, you can go some way to helping erase these feelings of inadequacy using reassurance, but the reality is that the any woman who feels like this needs to work on how they perceive themselves from the inside out.

Fear 3: Who their partner really is
When we start dating someone we project the best image of ourselves – naturally, we want to be liked. This is partly why those first months of dating are often so idyllic. However, it can also create an artificial atmosphere, before the ‘real’ person emerges.

Many women fear the moment when their date reveals their ‘real’ self: Will the man who pays for dinner and surprises me with flowers still be replaced with someone who doesn’t make an effort in six months time? Whilst it’s true that some men will put on a big act at first to hook a woman in,  most aren’t that devious – you just want to treat a woman well, and be treated well in return.

Fear 4: Settling for Mr. Right-Now
At some point every women worries about this in a relationship – are they ‘the one’? Or are they settling for Mr Right Now, rather than Mr Right? A lot of women think that being with someone is far preferable to being single, and as long as they can get married, things will work themselves out. But after they’ve made that decision, the doubts set in. As men, there’s little you can do here except be relaxed, supportive and encourage the idea that by simply being happy together the rest should follow (with some work along the way).

Fear 5: Not being committed to
One of the big differences between men and women, we are often told, is that women crave commitment yet men shy away from it. But, this isn’t necessarily true. Yes, there are men who fit into this category, but there are plenty of women who do too.

The fact is that usually, if the relationship is right, neither side will want to drag their feet. Commitment will seem like a joy rather than a chore. If you sense that your partner feels you’re not committed enough – yet you feel you are – try to get her to open up about her past experiences. She may well be harbouring hurt from a previous relationship.


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