Weird dating behaviour men should avoid

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Unfortunately, in the world of dating everyone’s behaviour is under the microscope. You could be a great date, but one wrong move will leave your date reaching for their bag and looking at the door. We wish it wasn’t like this, but many women have been on dates where that mention of living at home with their mother or still taking a teddy bear to bed just weirds them out.

We’re going to break this down into men and women, because while weird dating behaviour can be universal, there are some gender specific behaviours that should just be avoided. Here’s your starter for five…

1.    Mentioning sex in the first 10 conversations
Sex is a wonderful, fun and exciting thing. We’re not trying to say anything otherwise! But, if you barely know someone, talking about sex is just a bit creepy. Would you talk about sex with the lady in the Post Office? Or your boss? No, so why is OK to talk about it after a couple of drinks on a first date? It’s not.

Women are used to meeting guys after one thing. We’re not saying that’s you, but they’re numb to it. They’ve met guys in bars, friends of friends, and guys online who’ve clearly only got one thing on their mind – and that’s pretty insulting.  If that’s not you (and we really hope it isn’t) save the sexy talk for another time, when you’ve got to know each other a bit better. Why rush? There are plenty of other topics to cover before you get to the x-rated stuff.

2.    Being too persistent
Who doesn’t like being chased, right? Wrong, if it’s the equivalent of a teenager in a horror film being chased through the woods by a werewolf. Some men believe in the old adage ‘If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again’, but when it comes to dating this isn’t great advice. When a woman says no, she generally means it, so never assume you can try and wear her down. That really is just weird.

Some men believe that women play hard to get, and to be fair, some do. But that’s not a reason to continually text, call and email someone who’s already made it clear they’re not interested. Draw a line and move on.

3.   Can’t read signals
If you see a woman across a bar, look at her and smile, and she turns away what does that mean?
a)    Keep trying
b)    Walk over and say ‘hi’
c)    Give up

If your answer was a) or b), you lose. As we mentioned above, some women do try and play hard to get. But if you’re smiling right at a woman and trying to make eye contact, and she’s not responding, it’s most likely she’s not interested. Maybe she’s waiting for her boyfriend, or maybe she just doesn’t fancy you.

The problem is, lots of guys go for a) or b), as way too many men buy into the idea that women play games. Yes, some do, just as some men do, but most women are pretty simple. If she likes you, she’ll smile back, and if she doesn’t she won’t. Body language such as eye contact and smiling, is a much better indicator than some misplaced idea that women love to be chased.

4.    No sense of personal space
Everyone has their own idea of what constitutes their personal space.  A friend of eHarmony Advice knows someone who can’t stand anyone being less than three metres away from her (a little extreme!) But whatever your own idea of personal space, on a date it’s best to err on the side of caution. After all, you’re both strangers. It’s not appropriate to move your chair right next to your date, or lean to talk so far that they can feel your breath on their cheek. This doesn’t show you to be interested in your date, it just makes you seem creepy.

Of course, you should read your date’s body language. If they’re reaching over to touch your arm, or put their hand on your knee then you’re probably OK to move a little closer. But in the meantime stick with the rule of thumb of keeping two feet of distance between yourself and your date to avoid the ‘creep zone’.

5. Using pet names
‘Angel’, ‘sweetheart’ and ‘honey buns’ are all a no-no in the early dating stages. Calling your date a pet name straight away is just way too familiar, and for lots of women a huge turn off. Lots of women have their own preference for the kind of pet name they like to be called when in a relationship, and some may just hate pet names full stop – they can often sound very patronising. If you know you do this automatically, try to replace it with her name instead. And if you can’t remember her name, well, you’ve got a problem!


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