Why women love bad boys

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Bad boys are cool. Bad boys are sexy – or so the movies would have us believe. But they often lose their sheen when you get into a relationship with them – not that that stops many women from falling for bad boys time and time again. Of course, there are differing degrees of bad boy. There’s the guy who likes to party a bit too much, and always has a different woman on his arm. Then there’s the serious bad boys who think cocaine is their best friend and are acquainted with the local police more than anyone should be.

Whether a bad boy is naturally so, or he’s a former ‘good’ boy who’s adopted a bad boy image to gain some kind of cred doesn’t really matter. Many women still fall for them time and time again. But why? Here are our four reasons why good girls go for bad boys:

1.    For the thrills
The bad boy is exciting; who knows what he’ll get up to next? Maybe he’ll take you to an amazing, secret all-night party. Or maybe he’ll pick a fight with a guy for looking at you funny and get a broken nose. Either way, some girls like the thrill and even the sense of danger that being around that kind of person holds.

Maybe they’ve been good girls all their lives and want the release that being with a bad boy brings. Or maybe they just like to feel like they’re indulging in something illicit their families would disapprove of.

2.    For the sense of the familiar
Many women who go for bad boys had a father or older brother who had bad boy traits too. They say girls go for men like their father, and that’s not too far from the truth. Little girls often idolise – and idealise – their fathers and seek men who emulate that person in their lives when they grow up and away from their parents. Additionally, girls want to impress their fathers, and if Dad has a wild streak he might be sympathetic to a boyfriend with that same wild streak.

3.    The need to ‘fix’ people
For some women the challenge of rehabilitating the bad boy is just too irresistible. It’s a big ego boost to think you can be the only one to ‘save’ someone. Truth is, as we’ve said many times on these pages, you can’t change someone, they can only change themselves. Sure, you can support someone in that change – whether that’s to get fit, or to give up a vice – but you can’t force it upon them.

4.    The desire to turn back time
Instead of, as in point 2, wanting to impress their fathers, some women want to right a bad relationship they had with their dads. In this case they choose someone who behaves in the same way as their father in order to try and fix those bad memories – albeit in a roundabout way.

Problem is, the party has to end at some point. Bad boys may be fun for the night, but they’re no good to plan a future with. If you’re a bad boy lover, the key to breaking this pattern is to be self aware. Do you keep dating the same types of men over and over, only to get the same result? Maybe it’s time to look to yourself rather than the men you’re choosing for answers.


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