Dating in Midlife: Do you believe you can find love online?


Mature couple on an outdoors date

Author and success coach Rebecca Perkins gives the lowdown on dating in midlife.


I’m asked about it almost everyday.  And we constantly read about it online and in the press

“Does online dating really work now I’m in midlife?”

“Online dating? Oh no, my friend said she only ever seems to meet weirdos.”

“All older men are looking for younger women. What’s the point, I’ll never find someone my own age.”

“I’ve heard all these horror stories of bad dates from friends of friends, it all seems so negative.”


Let me set the record straight. I met my guy online I was 49, he was 51. I have friends in midlife who have met their partners online. It works. It’s all well and good me telling you it works but the key here is….what do you believe?

Here’s the thing. What you believe, goes a long way to what you’ll find you experience online. Think about it this way. Do you find parking spaces easily? I do. I do because I go out looking for a parking space and not “I never find anywhere to park.” Does that make sense?


  • Ask yourself this and be very honest in your answer. Are you going online to find “there are only weirdos out there.” “my friends tell me I’ll never find anyone online because all the guys are having midlife crises and wanting women 20 years younger than themselves.” “I hate having to do this, it feels horrible trawling through these pictures” “All the midlife women online seem so serious and uptight”?


  • Attitude isn’t everything but it’s a huge chunk of what’s important when online dating. How about going about it in a different more open and curious way? Check out your attitude. How about being a glass half full kinda person and focus on the positives?


  • Why not go out looking for the success stories instead. How about believing that you will and can meet someone that you connect with who’s just your type?


  • Do all you can to set yourself up for success rather than failure. Are you someone who self sabotages on a regular basis? Take a look at the underlying issues with a friend or consider working with a coach.


  • How open-minded are you? Have you got a fixed idea of what your ideal and only type of date looks like, what profession they have, where they live and what type of holidays they take? Consider being a little more flexible in your thinking.


  • What are your expectations? Do you imagine simply writing a profile, posting your pictures and then sitting back and waiting for your knight or princess to turn up in your inbox? Decide to be proactive. Enjoy the process, if it’s not fun then question what you could do differently.


  • Be clear of what you’re looking for. What’s the ideal outcome for you? Know what it means to you to be in a relationship. Be honest when asking yourself  what you’re looking for in a relationship. Do you want a short term fling, a regular dinner or theatre date or are you open to finding love and a new partner? Be clear in your own mind and honest online.


Do you believe you can find love online? How you respond to this question will give you your answer!


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