Dear Charly: Help! I’m scared to try online dating
eHarmony’s agony aunt, dating expert Charly Lester, advises a singleton who’s tempted to give online dating a try but is scared about getting started
I’m new to online dating and, to be honest, I’m a bit scared to get started! Help! Where do I start?
First off, don’t panic! I can assure you, you’re not the only one feeling this way. If you’re newly single, or have never dated online, it can be a daunting experience. The good news is that eHarmony makes it genuinely fun. I’ve signed up to hundreds of different sites and apps during my time in the dating industry and I’m being honest when I say that the eHarmony sign-up experience is one of the most interesting.
When you first get started, the site asks you a series of questions. These range from asking about aspects of your personality to your relationship requirements, as well as how important certain things are to you. They’re not questions that you answer every day and they’re often interesting to think about. How often do you sit down and really think about different aspects of your personality? Or what you’re looking for in a relationship? It can be easy to write certain tick lists when it comes to love – ideal height, income, hair colour etc. – but the eHarmony questionnaire asks you about more complicated aspects of a relationship, like sexual compatibility and the importance of monogamy.
Rather than starting off your dating profile by trying to sell yourself like a used car advert, you simply need to answer the questions honestly, work out where you sit on the scale and what things you value above others.
Then, when you’re ready, you can start adding more traditional information to your profile and checking out other members.
If you’re still feeling scared then I recommend asking a friend over for the evening to help you set up your profile. That’s exactly what I did the first time I signed up to a dating site. With my best friend at my side and a glass of wine in hand, it made the whole experience relaxed and fun, and meant that my answers were more honest – because my friend made sure of it! She also enjoyed helping me look through my matches!
So, please don’t be scared. I promise, taking the first step is the hardest. Once you’re online the excitement can begin. After all, you never know who you might meet!
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