Do we have to talk about the pier? Confident conversations for Brighton singles


Pier shot

Image source – Painsplough

There’s no shortage of places to go on a first date in Brighton, but what will you talk about when you get there? What if conversation turns out to be drier than the sand on Yellowave beach?

Avoiding those awkward silences 

The good news is that Brighton people are easier to talk to than most. No matter what the day job, your new date may also have a sideline in novel writing, painting, making music, creating digital media, jewellery or sculpture. Everyone in Brighton seems to have a creative project up their sleeve.

So finding out about their creative outlet is a great way to fire up a conversation. You can really get to know someone by getting them talking about their passions.


Listen twice as much as you talk

There’s a reason why we’ve got two ears and only one mouth. Communication is much more about listening than it is about speaking.

Ask open questions

“What do you think about this place?” is better than “Have you been here before?” Avoid questions that can be answered with yes or no and aim for those which invite longer answers.

Remember it’s not an interrogation

Many of us talk too much when we’re nervous, but a barrage of questions can be off-putting.

Take a breath

A few moments’ silence is OK. Sometimes it’s better to pause and let your companion fill in the gap.

Date ideas to keep the conversation flowing

Another sure-fire conversation starter is to have your date in an unusual place. One couple I know, now married with children, enjoyed a first date at Riddle & Finns, where the open kitchen means you can watch your food being prepared. And the beachfront branch has a beautiful view of the sea.


Confident conversations for Brighton singles

Image source – Riddle & Finns

A date with a view can make starting a conversation easier, as the view is always changing, so there’s always something to comment on. Ten Green Bottles in the North Laine, with its comfy chairs and an enormous picture window, is ideal for this. It also doubles as a wine shop if you decide to move on elsewhere.

Choose a date where you do something together rather than simply stare at each other trying to think of something to say – how about the Painting Pottery Cafe?

You could go to the Pavilion and try out the winter ice rink. If you’ve never skated before, even better – trying something new can be a great conversation starter. Sharing a new activity with your date is a fantastic way to build a bond. And there’s a cafe bar right next to the ice rink if you want to extend your date.

Confident conversations for Brighton singles

Image source – Brighton & Hove 

If you’re concerned that you might struggle for conversation, pick a date where something else is happening that you can talk about – perhaps a movie at the Duke of Yorks, or an exhibition at Brighton Museum.

You might find you have so much to say that another Brighton date is necessary!


Joanne Mallon is a life coach and author based in Brighton. Check out her Google+ profile and her personal website.



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