7 do’s and don’ts of dating a Christian
Whether you’re new to Christian dating, or simply looking for advice, our guide to the 7 most important do’s and don’ts will help you make the most of your dating experience
1. Don’t disregard your beliefs for a date
As a single Christian man or woman, your faith is inextricably linked to your daily life – and your dating life is no exception! Never feel that you need to disregard your belief to impress a date. The right person would never ask you to compromise your principles, whether they share your faith or not. If abstaining from sex before marriage or attending Church on Sunday are central to your practise of Christianity, make these deal-breakers. Your faith will be there for you no matter what – you might not be able to say the same about your date!
2. Do be honest about who you are
Everyone wants to impress when they’re on a date, but if you’re looking for a happy, long-lasting relationship, you must be yourself. If you’re single and a Christian, be honest about it. eHarmony can help. You can choose to display your religion on your profile and opt to only be matched with people of the same faith, if this is important to you. And when you’re matched, check out the traits that you’re compatible on. Do you both value monogamy? Are you both altruistic? Your compatibility score can tell you.
3. Do ask for advice
Dating can be tough, so don’t be afraid to ask for advice. You can find a wealth of Christian dating advice on the Internet (and on the eHarmony dating advice blog, of course) but you can also turn to friends, family, or members of your Church. Fellow Christians who have already navigated the dating scene will be able to help you find your way while maintaining your faith. And you never know, you might find that they can introduce you to an eligible Christian single or two!
4. Do set mutual boundaries
It’s easier to stat true to your beliefs if you have open and honest discussions with the person you’re dating. If you choose to set boundaries, these should be discussed and mutually agreed. If you’re not comfortable with intimate physical contact, for example, let the other person know and decide what is appropriate together. Or if you’d prefer not to socialise around alcohol, commit to choosing better date locations together. The more honest you are about your boundaries, the easier it’ll be to maintain them.
5. Don’t make it all about marriage
Marriage may be your end goal but if you approach every date with marriage on your mind, you’ll put far too much pressure on the situation. In the first few dates, don’t mention marriage at all. Concentrate on how the date makes you feel. Do you feel at ease? Is the conversation flowing? Find out whether you have a connection and could form a happy, healthy relationship before approaching the topic of marriage. It’s fine to be upfront about wanting a commitment eventually, but don’t make it central to your search.
6. Do treat others are you would wish to be treated
One of Christianity’s core principles is to treat others as you would wish to be treated. Approach those you’re dating with love, compassion and patience – regardless of whether you feel a spark or not. Never ghost them. Take the time to thank every date for their time and explain that you don’t want to continue the relationship in a respectful way. Dating makes people vulnerable. It’s important to recognise that egos may be fragile and feelings easily hurt. And if you do receive a negative response, try to forgive them and move on with love.
7. Do enjoy the experience
Dating should be fun. You might be looking for your soulmate, but don’t despair if they don’t appear straightaway. Try to enjoy the process – it’s an opportunity to meet new people and forge relationships, even if they’re not romantic. Plan your dates so that you to get to see and do things you wouldn’t normally be able to. That way you’ll enjoy the experience as much as the company. The dating process will also help you figure out exactly what you do and don’t want from a relationship so you’ll be ready when the right person comes along.
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