Why do I find it so hard to write my dating profile?

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Writing a dating profile

Even professional writers can find writing a dating profile challenging. But it doesn’t have to be so hard; just take a look at these top tips from profile writing expert Rebecca Perkins

Some people find writing their dating profile the hardest thing in the world. They know they have to make the effort but they’d rather be sitting in the dentist’s chair, or readying themselves for a parachute jump, than do it! Why is it that we find is so excruciating to write positively about ourselves? Is it because we were brought up not to brag or had someone tell us that ‘pride comes before a fall’? Whatever happened, something stuck and we now find it hard to write about ourselves in a positive way.

But, if you’ve chosen online dating, then you don’t have your scintillating personality to help you attract someone at a bar, on the tennis court or out on a dog walk, so you’re going to need to use your words instead. I’ve worked with all sorts of people to help them create an irresistible dating profile and it’s often those who write for a living that find it the hardest.

So, I thought I’d share a couple of exercises to limber up your writing muscles. The best place to start is simply to begin, anywhere, ideally with a pen or pencil and a journal. You can, of course, use your laptop or phone, but there’s a different type of creativity involved when we physically write by hand.

Exercise One

Start anywhere and keep the fact that you’re writing a dating profile at the very back of your mind; right now, you’re just writing. Perhaps you could start by describing a close friend or colleague that you respect – what is it about them that you like? What is about them that makes them so good at what they do? And what is it about them that makes you feel good about yourself? Set your timer for 15 minutes and just write, without lifting your pencil. Don’t worry about editing, crossing out or grammar checking, just write.

Now, think of someone else and repeat the same exercise again.

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Next, imagine that it’s a friend who’s writing the same thing about you. Write it in the first person and again be careful not to judge yourself, be negative or think ‘I can’t do this.’ Try it. The aim to is loosen you up without expecting any other outcome and simply encouraging you to be free with your writing.

How did that feel?

Exercise Two

Another exercise I get my clients to complete before we begin working on their dating profile is to give me a list of the top five reasons someone would want to date them.

I’m not looking for clichés; every reason must be unique to you. Try not to be generic; avoid saying, ‘I’ve got a good sense of humour’ or ‘I have a wide circle of friends’ and instead aim for statements like, ‘My love of theatre has led me to join an amateur theatre group’ or ‘My trip to Singapore’s amazing hawker food markets led to the creation of my food blog.’ Have a go and have some fun playing with your thoughts and noting everything down in your journal.

It’s important to know what makes you different so that you can stand out from the crowd. Once you know what makes you unique, you can weave it through your profile – after all, you want potential dates to choose you rather than someone else’s!


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