Four ways to know you’re about to get ghosted

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Girl being ghosted

While ghosting has become a common and easy way to end a relationship, it’s also incredibly painful and confusing. Here are the warning signs that it may be about to happen to you.

As technology plays an ever greater part in the way we date, bringing us more opportunities to meet truly compatible people and giving us more ways to keep in touch, there are downsides. One of the most common complaints in modern dating is ghosting—the practice of dropping someone cold with no explanation. The worst part about ghosting isn’t even the “breakup” (if you can call it that) but the not knowing why.

Was it something you said? Did that person meet someone new? Did you introduce them to your parents too soon? Did they misinterpret that flirty text you sent? There’s no way to know, and that’s what makes being ghosted so hard. It denies us something many of us really need to move on after a dating relationship ends: closure. So how can you tell if you’re about to get ghosted and therefore seek out some kind of explanation that will help you get over the breakup? Here are four signs you might be about to be ghosted:

1. One-word texts

You just sent him a multi-sentence text about your fun girls’ night out over the weekend, and then suggest the two of you get together later in the week. His response? “Ok.” Nothing else. No suggestions for where to meet up or what night.
Maybe several hours later, feeling antsy, you inquire, “So how was your weekend?” He replies, “Fine.” No details.
Chances are good he’s backing out of the relationship slowly, and pretty soon you won’t be getting any return texts at all.

2. Chronic cancellations

So the first time she told you she was going to have to cancel your Saturday night movie date because her sister had unexpectedly flown into town, you didn’t think much about it. But when you tried to make up the missed date a few days later by suggesting drinks after work, and she said “sure,” but then texted you last minute to say something had come up at work and she couldn’t make it, you started feeling anxious.

Then you see her for a quick dinner date on the weekend and feel better, but after making plans for a picnic the following Saturday, she bails on you again, claiming she’d forgotten two of her best college girlfriends were going to be in town.
Guess what? You’re not a priority, and she doesn’t have the courage to just tell you so. Pretty soon, she’s probably not going to respond to your date requests at all.

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3. Zero interest in your life

When you first started dating, he seemed so into you, so amazed by your promising career, encouraging of your efforts to get back into playing music. He’d ask you question after question about your interests, your thoughts on politics, your plans for the future. But all of a sudden, he’s gone cold.

Maybe you just told him about your promotion at work and he responds with a lacklustre “That’s great” and doesn’t ask a single question about it. Or you call him one evening to tell him about a new song you just banged out on the piano, and he says he’s occupied and will call you back… but doesn’t.

If he has lost apparent interest in your life (and not because you’ve failed to show interest in his), chances are, he’s getting ready to move on without you.

4. No interest in plans

You propose taking her out dancing Friday night, and she responds, “Sounds nice; let’s see how the week goes.” When Friday rolls around, she’s not available even though she knew on Monday you wanted to see her. When you suggest meeting for Sunday brunch, she says, “I’ll let you know if I’m caught up on work by then.” But then she never reaches out over the weekend to confirm.

If she’s routinely failing to make specific plans with you and seems to be playing a game of wait and see, she’s probably waiting for a better option to come along and wants to keep her dance card open just in case. Sure, she’ll hang out with you Saturday night, but only if that new guy who has caught her eye isn’t free.

If you’re one of the many people who have been ghosted, try not to take it too personally. Someone who can’t break up with you face-to-face or be honest about what’s going on in his or her head likely wasn’t relationship material in the first place. It doesn’t mean you should give up on love.

Once you’re over the breakup, consider ways to find other people who are just as interested in having a long-term relationship as you are. eharmony is the perfect place to get acquainted with potential partners who share your desire to date seriously. Sign up today, and meet someone who is truly right for you.

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